Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

by John Gray

What to remember: 4. Remember you don’t have to agree to understand her point of view or to be appreciated as a good listener. What to do and what not to do: 4. If you wish to express a differing point of view make sure she is finished and then rephrase her point of view before giving your own. Do not raise your voice. What to remember: 5. Remember you don’t fully have to understand her point of view to succeed in being a good listener. What to do and what not to do: 5. Let her know you don’t understand but want to. Take responsibility for not understanding; don’t judge her or imply she can’t be understood. What to remember: 6. Remember you are not responsible for how she feels. She may sound as though she is blaming you, but she is really needing to be understood. What to do and what not to do: 6. Refrain from defending yourself until she feels that you understand and care. Then it is OK gently to explain yourself or to apologize.