Let’s review the basic pattern. 1. A woman expresses her upset feelings about “XYZ.” 2. A man explains why she shouldn’t be upset about “XYZ.” 3. She feels invalidated and becomes more upset. (She is now more upset about being invalidated than about “XYZ.”) 4. He feels her disapproval and becomes upset. He blames her for upsetting him and expects an apology before making up. 5. She apologizes and wonders what happened, or she becomes more upset and the argument escalates into a battle.
