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My eyes looked at me from the mirror and I frowned. I didn’t like to look at my eyes for too long. They scared me when they changed colors. They talked to me when they got dark. Inside my head. Whispers, whispers, whispers.
“Her name is Claire,” I growled, feeling my body tremble with anger as I moved to stand with my friends. “So why don’t you fuck off!” Everyone around us gasped.
didn’t care. I was used to having grown-ups shout at me. I was used to disappointing people. “I
“Because she’s my friend,” Claire defended, grabbing Shannon’s hand. “That’s why.”
“Why don’t you shut the hell up,” I screamed, rushing forward and shoving the girl as hard as I could.
Shannon was a good friend to me. Being around her helped me keep my mind clear and get my voice out.
Shocked, I turned to see Joey Lynch coming down the steps that led from the pitch to the school gates with a hurley slung over his shoulder. Shannon’s big brother was only in second class, but the older boys still moved out of his way. Because they were afraid of him. Because he got into a lot of fights at school. Even more than me.
Too much. Uncomfortable, I placed my hands on my lap and focused on picking at the small sliver of skin hanging from my nail as the bus driver made his trek through town.
When the stinging sensation started in my finger, I felt my shoulders relax. A small red dot appeared from the cut, the same color as the dots in my underwear earlier, and I watched in fascination as it slowly trickled down my finger. Like a tiny river of blood, the voice whispered from the dark corner of my mind, you belong to the water, little bee.
Claire was a big, fat liar. Nodding eagerly, I grabbed my schoolbag off the seat and smiled up at him, hoping and praying he would sit down. He did.
“Oh.” He pulled the headphones off his neck and handed them to me. “It’s called ‘Send Me on My Way’ from Rusted Root.”
Hugh Biggs had whiskey eyes that didn’t look away. Instead, they stayed right on mine, warm and kind and chasing away the scary feeling in my head. Caoimhe always told me to stop staring so hard at people. She said it was creepy and weird. But this boy didn’t seem to mind.
“Your face is red.” He shifted in discomfort. “So is yours.” “I know why.” I beamed back at him. “It’s because I give you the hots.”
“See? You give me the hots, too.”
“You don’t even know what day it is,” he chuckled, giving me a peculiar look. “It’s on Halloween, so you might be busy with your family.” “I’m not,” I hurried to say, unsure if I was busy or not. I didn’t know and I didn’t care. All I knew for sure in this moment was that I was going to his birthday party. “I’ll be there.”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” “Really?”
“I think you’re right,”
He has the hotes for her
When Claire’s brother broke free from his friend’s headlock, he craned his head up and looked in my direction. When his eyes landed on mine and he grinned, my heart flip-flopped again. I quickly sank back down on my seat and exhaled a shaky breath. Feeling my face burn with heat, I clutched his invitation to my chest and smiled.
I blinked a few times, not entirely sure if I was seeing her properly because this girl didn’t look like the other girls on the bus. She didn’t look like anything I’d ever seen before. She sort of resembled a ghost. Or an angel. Something different. Something special.
When I introduced myself and we started to talk, I couldn’t hear a word of it. I had no clue what was coming out of my mouth. I was too distracted by the sound of my pulse drumming in my ears and the way my eyes enjoyed looking at this girl.
It honestly couldn’t be helped because sitting in front of me was the prettiest girl in the world.
“But I can’t turn my mind off,” I protested. “It never stops talking to me.”
“He’s really pretty,”
“Oh my God.” Unable to stop myself, I snickered into my hand when Caoimhe chicken danced toward me. “You are so strange.” “Oh, I’m strange?” Laughing, she grabbed my hand and danced me across the room. “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, Baby Sister.”
“Yeah,” I tossed back with a forced laugh but made no move to follow him. I had no intention of running away from this girl. “Hugh? Oh good. Come here, love. You can bring Lizzie inside.” Yes!
car. I would never admit it to a soul, not even Gibs, but I wanted to see Lizzie Young again. I’d thought about her a lot over the weekend and hoped she would come today.
“I’m not afraid to be on my own.”
“No.” I shook my head, taking it all in. Taking all of her in. “I don’t want to do that.” “You don’t?” “No,” I confirmed. “I want to stay.” A slow blush crept across her cheeks. “With me?”
“I know.” Grinning, she reached up and tipped my hat. “I thought you might like it.” “I do,” I replied, feeling my face grow hot again.
“My SNES,” I corrected gently, still in shock. “And it definitely will.”
“You have lovely handwriting.”
asked, attention glued to this girl and everything that came out of her mouth because I had never felt more impressed by another person in my life. It wasn’t just her outfit that matched mine, but her brain did, too.
“I know you’re not, okay?” I replied, reaching down to peel her hands apart. “And who cares if you’re the oldest in your class?” She didn’t seem to realize that she was scratching herself, but I noticed. “You’re younger than most of my class and still way smarter.”
“Well, that’s good.” I smiled. “Because you have a nice voice.” Her eyes lit up. “I do?” Aw, crap.
I didn’t understand what was happening to me, I knew what would happen next, what always happened next, and I didn’t want my friends to see this.
“There you go.” His voice was gentle and kind. “Nice and slow.” He squeezed my hand again. “You’re okay.”
Confused, I stared down at my hands before flicking my eyes back to his. “I’m okay?” He nodded and smiled. “You’re okay.”
“Have you?” His cheeks flushed, and he quickly added, “Ever held hands with another boy?”
“No.” I shook my head. “You’re my only boy.” I felt my skin grow hot. “Only you.”
“I like you, Hugh Biggs,” I blurted out, feeling the heat bursting out of my chest. “I think.”
“I don’t think I like you, Lizzie Young.”
“I know I do.”
“Then it’s official,” Hugh said, turning to smile at me. “You’re one of us now.” “I am?”
“That means we keep each other’s secrets and stick together, no matter what.” My heart leapt. “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” Hugh smiled. “No matter what.”
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” he tried to tell his father, through floods of tears. “I’m happy, Dad, I promise.”
“Hugh,” I sighed, clutching my chest. “He’s so nice, Caoimhe. Like so, so nice, and he’s pretty, and he holds the door for me, and he gave me an extra pillow from his room, and he cut my pancake when I couldn’t do it.” I heaved out another sigh, missing him already. “He’s just so sweet.”
“I’ll do it,” I vowed, casting a glance out the patio window to the blond girl twirling around in circles in her denim dungarees. “I’ll look after her, Mam, I promise.”
“I have a crush on you.”
“Do you have a crush on me, too?”
“Yes,”
