Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“Okay, well, there are parts of your body that are just for you,” Hugh started to explain. “For boys, their private part is their penis. For girls, their private part is their vagina. And nobody is allowed to touch your vagina. Not your friends. Or your family members. And especially not grown-ups.”

“What if you’re sick?” I asked, feeling like my world was crashing down around me. Hugh frowned. “Sick?” “What if you’re sick and need the medicine to get better?” I pushed, digging my nails into my hands. “What if you’re bad and need to be fixed?”

“I just wanted to f-fix you. M-make you f-feel better,” I cried into my hands. “I d-didn’t know it was b-bad, Hugh. I’m so s-sorry.” “I know, and it’s okay,” he coaxed, wrapping me up in his arms. “I’m not mad at you.”

“I sh-should g-go h-home.” “No, you shouldn’t,” he said, tightening his hold on me. “You should stay right here with me because I’m your best friend and I love you and there’s nobody else I want to play with.”

“Nobody told me!” I screamed, pulling on my hair so hard a clump of it came away in my hand. So I threw that at her, too. “And it hurts, and it’s not making me better, and it’s all your fault!”

“Fuck you!” Tightening my grip on her hair so she couldn’t run away, I straddled her chest and kept tearing at her face. “You let the monster in!” I scratched her again, deep enough to make blood come out. “You let the monster play tricks on me!”

“It’s her fault, Mammy! Caoimhe let the monster in,” I started to plead, but my father cut me off when he roared at the top of his lungs.

“Enough!” Setting me back down, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me so hard that my teeth chattered. “There is not a monster, and your sister never hurt you!” He shook me again. “There is no scary lady and the voices in your head aren’t real!” My head snapped back and forth as he roared into my face. “You have a sickness of the mind; do ya hear me? All this madness is inside of you, Elizabeth!”

“Where’s your sister?” “You know where my sister is, Hugh.”

“Yeah, but you haven’t told me when she’s coming home,”

“Lizzie’s been in the hospital for a long time, Caoimhe.”

“I want to know when she’s co...

I hadn’t seen my best friend in weeks and being told soon whenever I asked when she was coming home was driving me crazy. In fact, I felt like screaming.

“And if you don’t tell me what’s wrong with my best friend, I’ll find out my own way.”

“What did you do to her first?” “Nothing,” Caoimhe snapped back, folding her arms. “That’s the whole point, Hugh. She’s crazy.” “No, she’s not.” I shook my head, refuting her claim. “Don’t say that about my friend.”

“You shouldn’t talk about your sister like that. It makes you sound bitter and cruel.”

When Mam came into my room and told me the good news—that Lizzie was finally home from the hospital—I’d lost it. I had no clue what came over me in that moment, but I broke down and bawled before proceeding to rant like a deranged lunatic at my mother for keeping something so important from me.

When Catherine called this morning to let Mam know that Liz was feeling better and would be coming to my party, it was the best birthday present ever. I didn’t care about the unopened parcels waiting inside for me. All I wanted was Liz.

Excitement thundered to life inside of me when Mike climbed out of the driver’s seat and opened the back passenger door. The moment she stepped out of the car and my eyes landed on her, I felt the strange sensation in my chest return. It felt like my heart had been caught up in a fishing hook and I was being reeled back to her.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Two months. It had taken two long months to see my friend again, and now that I had my arms around her, I was afraid to let go.

“I wanted to come see you, I promise,” I told her, tightening my arms. “I would have come if they’d let me.” “I know.” She gripped my shirt tightly. “I believe you.”

Something about the way they both flicked their eyes to Lizzie as they spoke caused me to pull her to my side and wrap an arm around her protectively. He was not taking her away again. Over my dead body.

“I don’t give a shit about my party,”

“So are you, Liz.” “No, Hugh.” She shook her head sadly. “I’m not.”

“Why would you say that, Liz?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“Nope.”

“It’s not even close to being...

“Everyone thinks I’m crazy.”

“I don’t,”

“I know you’re no...

“You get sad sometimes, and that’s okay,” I told her, feeling the strongest urge to pull her close and protect her from the world. “And you get angry, but who doesn’t?”

“Are they here now?”

“They never hurt me when you’re around.”

Tearful, she nodded. “Am I still your lady?” “You’ll always be my lady,” I promised. “Milady.”

When the monster turned me over and pushed my head into the pillow, I didn’t need to beg to die because this was a dream. When he put the bad thing inside my body, I didn’t hope he would push me into the darkness and leave me there because he lived in the dark and I lived in the light. When he put the bad thing in my mouth, called me bad names, and told me to do what he taught me, I just did it. Whatever the monster wanted, the monster took, and I didn’t flinch. I didn’t have to wish to be a ghost without a body he could violate because in the real world, he couldn’t reach me.

In the real world, I was free.

I knew she was trying to explain what was happening to my body, but I didn’t care. Because I didn’t like having a body.

When the piping hot water started to bubble and the steam started to rise, I held my foot under the flow. I was good with pain, and pain was good for me. It made me feel better. It helped me to concentrate. To stop my thoughts from running rampant in my head. The pain made all my thoughts float out of my head, and I sighed in relief.

“Don’t worry, Liz.”

“You’ll always have me, too.”

I knew she was doing better since coming home from hospital, but she wasn’t the same. There was something different about her. I didn’t understand what that something was or why it had happened, but I knew it had.

“Happy New Year.” I checked the time and saw it was indeed gone midnight, which meant one thing. Leaning in close, I pressed a kiss to her cheek, finding it a little more difficult to pull away this year. “Happy New Year, Liz.”

Dialing the phone number that I learned off by heart at the age of seven, I held the receiver to my ear and listened to the shrill ringing sound. “Hello?”

“Hello?” “Liz.” Gripping the phone like my life depended on it, I sagged against the wall and exhaled a relieved breath. “It’s me.”

I wasn’t worried about the traffic whizzing past me or the potential of taking a wrong turn. I was a confident cyclist and had an excellent memory. I would find my way to her. If it was the last thing I did.

“I’m sick, Hugh.”

“You are?”

“In h...

“No, you’r...