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“Besides, we don’t need them to get married to be family.” “Exactly,” he said, wholeheartedly agreeing with her.
“I’m dead, I tell ya!” “Smell that, Thor,” Liz cackled, pinning him to the carpet, wrestling style. “Victory.” “You are a strange and terrifying female,” he mused. “But an unforgettable one.” Cackling, she helped him up. “Are you hurt?” “Only my pride.”
The monster attacked me in my sleep again, hurting me so severely that I brought my injuries back to reality with me. It hurt to sit on my chair in class, and by the time big lunch rolled around, I was close to losing my mind.
I wasn’t sure which was worse: the pain in my mind or the one between my legs.
“What are you listening to?” He didn’t respond; instead, he took his right earbud out and handed it to me. When I pressed it to my ear, it took me a few seconds to register the song blasting as Michael Jackson’s “They Don’t Care About Us.” “Found it at work,” he explained, holding the Discman up. “Boss was chucking it.” He shrugged before adding, “Just in case ya assumed I lifted it.” “Why would I think you stole it?” He shrugged but didn’t respond.
“You won’t get into secondary school in September if they catch you taking drugs, Joey.” His green eyes flicked to mine in challenge. “Are you going to rat me out?” “No.” I shook my head. “I know how to keep a secret.” “Yeah.” He exhaled another cloud of smoke. “Me, too, kid.”
“I don’t have to like you in order to help you,” he explained calmly, taking another drag of cigarette. “I just have to help.” “Just like that.” “Just like that, kid.”
“I’m in charge of where he goes.” Mark’s nostrils flared with temper. “He’s my brother.” “No, you fucking cretin,” I seethed, whacking his hand away when he tried to grab my friend. “He’s my brother. Now get out of our way.” He smiled darkly. “Make me, egghead.” Now, I rarely lost my temper; in fact, I was praised on my ability to keep the head, but this bully drew the worst out of me.
Yeah, because it wouldn’t be a good look for Mark to get caught battering kids. He had a reputation to uphold—one he had sold to every adult in our community. Everyone loved this guy. Everyone. I tried to tell Sadhbh about the bullying, but she wouldn’t hear a word said against her precious stepson. I tried to tell Caoimhe, and she believed me even less.
“Thanks for that,” Gibs said when we were in my driveway. “No bother, lad,” I replied, guiding him up the porch steps. “Anytime.” “I might hold you to that,” he chuckled, still clutching my hand. For some strange reason, I didn’t pull my hand from his, not even when we got inside. Instead, I let him hold my hand for a solid five minutes before he finally let go.
“Oh, hi, Gerard.” The beaming smile she had for our friend quickly morphed into a scowl when her eyes landed on Mark. “Ew.”
Same Claire, same
“I’ll come.” Claire was quick to accept the invitation. “Hold on,” she added, quickly backpedaling through the hallway. “I’ll go ask Mam for money.” Dammit, Claire! Now I had to go because there was no way on God’s green earth that I would allow my baby sister to get in that asshole’s car without me.
Hugh's sixth sense attacks again (thank God)
I didn’t give a shit if any of our friends saw me holding her hand. I’d long since left the embarrassed-boy phase behind me. All I felt when I held her hand these days was privilege and pride.
I wanted to take off all my clothes and feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to peel the skin from my bones, strip by strip, until everyone could see how impure I was on the inside. I wanted to throw myself out of my bedroom window and impale my torso on the window bars below. I craved to know how it would feel to sever my carotid artery and watch the blood drain from my body. Would there be enough to drown the monster?
Losing grip on reality wasn’t something unfamiliar to me, but every time it happened, I was consumed by the fear that I might not make it back this time. Please don’t let me make it back this time.
“Hey! Someone stop that little bitch!” one of the other lads roared, dragging my attention back over to the side of the field once more, just in time to see Lizzie kick the ball we were playing with over the wall that separated the park from the river. “You fucking idiot!” Danny roared, stalking toward her. “That was my ball!” “Oh yeah?” I heard Lizzie shout back at him, while moving to stand in front of Gibsie. “Well, now it belongs to the fish.”
“Call her a bitch one more time and you’re going to find out how much on her side I am,” I warned, squaring up right back at him. “And if you ever think about putting your hands on her again, I’ll take the head clean off ya.”
“Hey, Danny!” Lizzie stalked across the pitch to where he was being held back by Robbie. “Wait, I forgot to give you something.” “Bitch, the only thing I want from you is my ba-allllllll!” Danny’s words broke off into a high-pitched scream when Liz kicked him right in the gonads. “That’s for laughing at my friend,” she hissed, planting her hands on her hips. “And for calling him fat.” Folding like a pancake, Danny rolled around on the grass, whimpering and cupping his junk. “And if you think you’re in pain now, just wait, asshole, because if you even think about calling him names again”—she
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“Lad,” Feely chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his as we watched Liz walk toward us. “I don’t know if I’m in love or in fear for my life.” I could only hope it was the latter for Feely because I was fairly sure I was stuck on the former.
I tried so hard to keep my cool, but when they targeted Gibsie, I lost it. He was so sweet and gentle, and he didn’t deserve to be picked on all because he didn’t want to play their stupid game.
“I feel tired and…” “And what, Liz?” “Scared,” I whispered, burying my face in his chest. “I’m always so scared.” “Of what?” I clenched my eyes shut and whispered, “Me.”
“I don’t know what to say, Mam,” I replied with a shrug. “Raise a man, expect a man.” A smile ghosted my lips before adding, “But if you need a baby boy, I reckon you have another three years with Gibs before he cops on.”
“Love you, too, Mam, and thanks for the spin.” Reaching for the door handle, I cleared my throat before adding, “For everything.”
When I moved to pull back, I felt her tug on my shirt, pulling me closer, bringing me back to her. Calling me home.
“Don’t go,” was all she replied, and it was a barely coherent mumbled slur. “He gets me when you’re not here.”
“I have a better grasp on this than you…think,” I replied, forcing myself to add think at the end of my sentence.
“I know she’s cutting herself,” I decided to throw out. Their reactions assured me they weren’t expecting me to know. “I know she’s been doing it for at least a year,” I added, mentally retracing my memories to the first time I’d seen unexplained marks on her body. “I can help,” I reiterated, imploring her parents to let me in. “You can trust me. I swear you can. All you have to do is just let me in!”
While it was nice that Catherine and Mike were warming up to the idea that Liz could have friends who knew about her illness and didn’t bolt, my visits weren’t for their benefit. I was solely focused on their daughter.
“Well, shit, it is Lizzie Young,” I teased, slipping through the pedestrian gate. Letting my schoolbag fall from my shoulder, I fisted the front of her flannel shirt and pulled her in for a hug. “There’s my girl.” “Yep.” Her arms came around my waist and she pressed her body to mine tightly. “Here I am.”
When there was a knock on the front door, followed a few moments later by the sound of my sister calling out, “Liz, lover boy’s here for your daily visit,” I bit my lip and smiled. Because if I had a hope of being normal, then I had to fight for it. And I would. For him.
“Liz.” The way he said my name caused a shiver to roll down my spine. Like he knew me. Like I was his. Like I belonged entirely to him.
The moment our lips touched, a crackling surge of electricity ricocheted through every part of me. Instinctively, my eyelids fluttered shut, and I clung to his body, feeling a blast of adrenaline so powerful that no amount of cliff diving could compete with it. Nope, it was clear to my poor, fickle heart that only one person could pull the strings of my heart like this. Hugh Biggs.
“I heard he’s some hotshot from Dublin.” “His dad’s one of the Kavanaghs from town.” “And he’s joining our class after summer?” “Yeah, he joined sixth class for a couple of weeks before we broke up for the holidays.” “He did?” “Yeah, and apparently, he was supposed to be starting first year but has to repeat sixth class because of the move.” “What’s his name?” “Jonathan, I think?
That was a problem I had: obsessing over things I loved the most.
Same Liz, same
Everything changed for me after the trip to the coast. I knew the exact moment it happened. Deep inside the fairies’ sea cave, when she wrapped her arms around my neck and I pressed my lips to hers, it hit me like a wrecking ball that I loved the girl sitting on my lap and wanted to be with her in none of the ways I used to. That realization was solidified even further when we kissed again during spin the bottle. Yeah, that kiss wrecked me.
Twenty minutes into our conversation, it became blatantly evident that, while Feely was the oldest of us and the resident expert on farm animal reproduction methods, he didn’t have a bull’s clue about his own species. This resulted in me explaining his reproductive organs to him.
“Fleetwood Mac, right?” “Right,” I agreed, still laughing. “I love her witchy vibes.” “‘Silver Springs’?” Grinning, I nodded. “You remembered.” Hugh winked. “I remember everything about you, Liz.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from the cows, Baby Biggs.” “What about me? I don’t like cows, either.” “I’ll protect you from the cows, too, Gibs.” “You promise, Pa? You super swear you’ll save us?”
Without saying a word, Hugh reached for my hand and raised it to his lips. Keeping his eyes on me, he turned it over and pressed a kiss to the scars covering my wrist.
"You drew stars around my scars and now I'm bleeding"
“Oh, thank God,” Hugh replied, heaving out a huge, audible breath. “Because I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my girlfriend since 1994, and I don’t think I can hold it in another day.” “I’ve been waiting to say yes since 1994,”
“It’s worse than when we give her a turn on GTA, and she stops in traffic at the red light.” “Because the red light means stop, Hugh Andrew Biggs.” “Not in an alternate universe, Claire Bridget Biggs.”
While I tried to conceal it as best as I could, I had some seriously strong urges directed solely toward this girl. My girl.
“Wait,” she called out, grabbing my sleeve and pulling me back to her. “I have something for you.” “But you already gave me your phone numb—” My words broke off when her lips crushed against mine. Her arms went around my neck, pulling my body closer to hers, and I went willingly. Because I felt everything for this girl.
Reaching up, Liz trailed her finger and thumb over my bottom lip before retrieving her chewing gum from my mouth and popping it back into hers. “Tastes like you.” She winked. “My favorite flavor.” Fuck.
“Claire-Bear, you have to let me go,” Gibsie chuckled, holding on to the doorframe with his free hand. “Johnny’s outside in the car waiting for me.”
MY BABIES ARE FINALLY FRIENDS
“If you go, I’ll be alone with the lovebirds.” She paused to shoot a glaring look in my direction before continuing her whining. “I’ll be all alone.” “Uh, hello?” Feely, who had arrived shortly after Liz, interjected from his perch on the beanbag. “What am I? Dog shit?” “Oops, sorry, Patrick,” Claire replied, reddening. “I forgot you were here.” “Lovely.” Feely rolled his eyes. “Just lovely.”
“Claire, he’s allowed to have other friends.” “No, he’s not.”
“Yes, because he’s always at Johnny’s house now,” Claire erupted, curls splaying wildly. “Going on trips with Johnny’s family, and sleepovers, and going to matches, and discos, and…and training.” She rolled her eyes to the heavens and fake gagged. “It makes me sick, Patrick. Like super sick.” “Don’t tell me that you’re jealous of Johnny Kavanagh.” “I’m not jealous of him,” Claire defended, cheeks turning bright pink. “I’m mad at him. He stole my best friend.”
he spent all morning, afternoon, and evening with you.” “And where is Gerard now, huh?” she demanded. “At a disco with Johnny Kavanagh, that’s where. And do you know what Johnny Kavanagh does at discos? He kisses girls, that’s what he does. Lots of girls. With tongues.” “They’re not at a disco,” Feely said, attempting to calm her. “They’re at Cap’s house.”
“We call him cap because he’s our captain.” “Of what? Your imaginary ship?” Lizzie chimed in with a snicker. “I can see it now: Captain Fantastic and his flock of fanboys.” “The rugby team, actually,” Feely shot back. “But good one, viper.”
