How to Write Dazzling Dialogue: The Fastest Way to Improve Any Manuscript (Bell on Writing)

by James Scott Bell

What we do is render something that feels real but is intended to create a desired effect.

Dialogue is not the information superhighway. It's not to be used as a lazy way to give the reader information or a sermon on the author's view of the world.

So that's the foundation for dazzling dialogue. It comes from a character who has an agenda, and is directed toward another character who has an agenda. No matter how small or large the objectives, if they are in conflict the dialogue will work.

Dialogue in fiction has five functions. One or more of the following must always be at work, or you're just taking up space: 1. Reveal story information 2. Reveal character 3. Set the tone 4. Set the scene 5. Reveal theme

The first thing to look out for is a character saying anything that both the characters already know.

Act first, explain later. Readers will wait a long time for explanatory material if there is solid action going on.

Certainly, many writers do care about message, or theme. The danger in dialogue is to allow the characters to become mere mouthpieces for the message. This is called getting "preachy."

How do I know what the character's voice sounds like? I prompt them with questions and then let them talk. I do this fast, without thinking about it much. What I'm waiting for is the moment when the character starts talking to me in a voice I did not plan.

The dullest exchanges are those between two people on the same wavelength, with nothing gripping to talk about.

If you do have two friends or allies sitting down to talk, don't make it just about feeding the reader information. Make some trouble.

Arguments can run the gamut from mild disagreement to outright screaming matches. That gives you a wide berth, and a simple rule for scenes that seem to drag: just get the characters into an argument. Even a playful argument will work.

Another way to add tension is to erect a barrier to communication. These can be outer or inner barriers.

In fiction, you show an interruption by use of the em-dash followed by a close quote.

(When a character's voice trails off, use the ellipsis …)

Dialogue tension can also be increased by interior barriers. Most often this is because one character has an emotional reason for not talking, or avoiding a subject. Usually this is something the other character is unaware of.

Dialogue full of conflict and tension is also the fastest way to improve your scenes.

Work on the fear factor from various angles. You will find that it's almost magical how your dialogue in that scene improves.

Agendas, arguments, barriers and fear—by keeping these four things in mind your dialogue will sizzle as well as dazzle.

Orchestration

For your novel: 1. Make a list of your cast. Give each character a one or two line description. 2. Step back and make sure the descriptions are sufficiently different from each other. 3. Give each character one quirk. Make them irritating to at least two other characters. 4. Write a few "practice scenes" pairing two of the characters at random. These are great warm up exercises for your writing, and may generate actual plot ideas and twists.

Flip The Obvious Every now and then pause in the middle of a dialogue scene. Look at what you've written and ask if any of the dialogue is "obvious." Is it something a reader would expect a character to say? If so, flip it. Have the character say the exact opposite.

Subtext

When you write a scene, your text is above the surface. That's what the reader sees. But underneath you have a huge chunk of unseen ice. Indeed, that is the dangerous part of the iceberg. That's the part that's a mystery. Most subtext should operate like that. In other words, what's going on in the scene is more than what is seen. See?

You can weave subtext naturally into your dialogue scenes by knowing things a) the reader doesn't, and/or b) the other character doesn't. What sorts of things might these be? Secrets Past relationships Rich backstory Shocking experiences Vivid memories Fears Hopes Yearnings

Take a sheet of blank paper (I find this much easier to do with pen and paper) and write down the names of all the major characters in a rough circle. Next, draw a line from one character to another. Ask: what is their relationship? Are they complete strangers? What if there was some sort of past connection? Is this connection known to them? Or only to one? Or none? Play awhile with that connection and see what develops. If you come up with something interesting, it will provide plenty of subtext for your scenes with those two characters. It will also give you plot material, too.

The Cheap Champagne Method Let the dialogue flow. Pop open your talk bottle and pour it out on the page. And do it without quote marks, attributions or actions beats. What you're doing is letting the characters improvise a scene for you. Know and accept the fact that you will cut much of this dialogue. That's fine. It's not going to take you all that long to write, plus it is good writing practice. But in the midst of it all you'll find actual lines, plot twists, points of conflict and other fictional matter you couldn't find any other way.

Parent, Adult, Child

Put simply, the idea in transactional analysis is that we tend to relate to each other by the roles we see ourselves in. These roles fall into one of three categories: Parent: This is the role of full authority. The Parent can lay down the law and enforce it. The Parent is the "final word." If there's an argument, the Parent pulls rank. "My way or the highway" was coined by a Parent. Adult: This is the even-minded, even-tempered role. The Adult says, "Let's be objective about this." Balanced, rational, analytical. The sort of person you want in charge in a crisis. Child: Emotional, irrational, selfish, whiny, trusting, innocent, tantrum-throwing, pouting.

The one exchange to be careful with is the Adult to Adult conversation.

Here is a simple but powerful exercise. Just before you start writing a scene, jot down what role the characters think they're playing. Figure out the natural points of conflict.

Note, during a scene characters can change roles for strategic purposes. If an Adult isn't getting his way, he can become a Parent for a while, or a Child.

Curving the Language

First, comedy is the hardest form of fiction there is. If you practice it, your overall writing (especially dialogue) will only get better.

Second, Danny had a little exercise he called "curving the language."

So what does this mean for you, dialogue maker? It means that you can create memorable lines for your characters with a little curving.

Off The Nose

It's not that we don't need to do this sometimes in dialogue. After all, if there was never any on-the-nose talk, we'd all be confused about what was going on. But mix in a healthy dose of the "side-step" in your dialogue, and instantly the interest level will pick up.

You can easily come up with ideas for what I call "sidesteps" just by going through your dialogue, finding the dull exchanges, and figuring out something else.

Compression Unless there is a reason for a character to be running off at the mouth, dialogue is usually best when it is compressed. That is, cut it down so it is like the mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich in The Princess Bride: nice and lean.

Notice that you can often cut words at the beginning of the lines.

Simply cutting those fluff words at the beginning will help with compression.

Don't Forget About Silence A powerful variation on the sidestep is silence. It is often the best choice, no matter what words you might come up with.

What are your characters feeling while exchanging dialogue? Try expressing it with the sound of silence.

Controlling Pace Through Dialogue

Simple rule of thumb: If you want to slow down the pace of your story, you increase the description between the dialogue and decrease the white space on the page. If you need to speed things up, d...

It's fast. There's a huge amount of white space and no pausing for descriptive elements. The strategy here is to move the outer story along at a brisk pace.

What the first example gave us was speed and subtext. We are left to fill in the blanks of what's going on ourselves. That's a definite strategy, one that Bruen uses skillfully. The second example would be used when the writer wants to go deeper than subtext and enlarge the inner life of the character.

What strategy you use at any given time in your dialogue is up to you, of course. Just be intentional about it.

Gems and Spice

Top Ten Dialogue Issues In this section I present the treatment of several issues that come up when writing dialogue. You don't have to read all this word for word. Rather, use this as a reference and refer to it as needed. The subjects are: Punctuation Attributions, Adverbs, Action Tags Dialects Backstory Inner Dialogue Experimental Cursing Thematic Dialogue Comic Relief Period Dialogue