Quasim: King Inferno (Season Four: Inferno Gods, #1)

by Jahquel J.

Here’s to being bent over and told ‘lose that fucking attitude’

I remember when I first found out that I had cancer and how scared I was. How everything was unknown, and I didn’t know if I would live. Most people who receive their cancer diagnosis either have a friend or family member with them, and I had no one. There was no one there to wipe my tears and tell me that everything would be alright.

and now she has the most beautiful support system in the delgato-inferno family

My life had never been easy. Since my mother passed away leaving me behind, I had no one in my corner. The people I considered family hurt me, and I allowed them to hurt me continuously. I put my faith and love into the wrong people, and it constantly burned me. I wanted to be loved so bad that I accepted such treatment because I felt like that was what I deserved. Being moved from foster home to foster home, never feeling love, you learn to settle for whatever pieces someone tosses at you.

The Delgatos and Infernos took me in and gave me the family I’ve always wanted. The women nurtured and loved me like no other, and the men protected me like one of their own. Quasim Inferno. He protected me like I’ve always wanted to be protected. Although he acted scared of me most of the time, those small moments when he allowed himself to feel and live, I could see our life together.

it’s what you always deserved bookie

Capri and Quameer stood there with Peach, while I held my beautiful God daughter. Capone and Erin, along with Aimee and Capella stood there, all of them waiting for me to ring the bell. I appreciated and loved them for being here, but the one person I was looking forward to being here wasn’t. Me and Quasim hadn’t spoken in a few months.

UHN UHN WHERE HE AT?!

Tears poured down my face as I grabbed the rope of the bell; the ringing was proof that I’d won the battle I’d been fighting. Everyone clapped their hands and cheered for me while I closed my eyes and thanked the lord. He saw me through all of this, and I would continue praising him. When I opened my eyes, Quasim was standing there with my favorite flowers in his hands, sunflowers. He smirked as a tear fell down one side of his face and more fell down mine.

MY GIRL IS CANCER FREEEE AND HE MADE IT IN TIME 🥹

“I wouldn’t fucking miss this for the world. You fought hard for this, baby… no more. I prayed for this, and God is finally hearing me.”

UGH QUASIMMY 🥹

Many times before, she had told me this and then she always back peddled, allowed me back. Allowed me to make her feel good and make her promises that I swore I would keep that time. I wanted to keep every promise that I made to Blair, but my anger often got the best of me and then I flew off the handle.

and you called yourself being the love of her life but was beating her cause you can’t control your anger FOH.

She used to need me. Since she reconnected with Capri’s ‘ol independent ass, she had been on some new shit. No longer needing me, no longer wanting me around. When I had her and her friend kidnapped, I didn’t want her hurt. She forced my hand.

bullshit.

It wasn’t until she linked back up with Capri that she started singing a different tune. She started moving differently and I realized that I might be losing my bitch. When she allowed that Inferno bitch come and rescue her, in my fucking hood, I knew I had to show her that it was time to bring her ass back home.

he really acting like he’s the fucking prize ICKKKKK

Seeing how she stared from the police back to me, the love and fear she held in her eyes for me was gone. Blair wasn’t the same woman that I loved, and she was done with me for real.

mhmm as she goddamn should

I looked at the divorce papers and laughed. Blair thought having that shit served to me while I was in here was gonna make me sign them. Nah. A nigga was about to be free, and my wife was coming back home with me, or her ass was gonna be put in the ground – her choice.

the nerve of this nigga smh wait until head honcho get in that ass

As a breastfeeding mama, she should have been consuming more calories than she was currently eating. Breastfeeding took a lot out of the mamas, and they needed to replenish with as much food that was being taken from them.

*jots down for future pregnancy*

Between her husband and family, when she needed help, everyone stepped in to be there for her. Capri had a support system that most women prayed to have when having their first child. It was a support system that I wanted to have when it was time for me to have my own children. I’ve always dreamed of having a family, husband, and everything that came with expecting your first child.

As her postpartum doula, I was responsible for making sure that Ivory was set up for motherhood. I was caring for the baby when she went to nap, or some nights when she didn’t want to wake up with him. On top of preparing her breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I was teaching her everything she didn’t know about her body and baby.

shout out to all the doulas out there.

Then, I had to take care of a precious baby boy, and I couldn’t help but to think of my own that I had lost. I often found myself staring into space, and wondering how my life would have been. It was one of the things that I could relate to Quasim with, and I never brought myself to tell him. It was too painful.

my poor babies been through the ringer

“We married, Blair. You and Sim need to stop playing games so you can suck on his lips like I do my baby.” Meer’s smart ass countered.

UM RUDE SKSJSKSJ but he’s right!

“Your brother is the only one that has been playing games, and I have moved on.”

oh we know for sure he’s playing games but moving on…🥴

“Was it necessary for you to facetime me, Quameer?” “You Rayce’s God mama, so I need to know what the hell you got going on… we all know you don’t make good decisions when it comes to men.” Meer faked a cough. “Like your husband.”

he’s so goddamn shady 😂😂😂

“Does it matter if he finds out? Quasim has written whatever I thought we had off.” “He has not.” Capri yelled in the background. “Both of you make excuses for him, and honestly you need to stop. He’s a grown man and he should communicate with me. Instead, I get a scripture every Sunday and a generic check-in with me… I’m tired.”

shit girl me too! all these mixed signals gotta STOP

“And this new nigga is the answer to your problems? Stabby, I think you need to take some time for you, and never date again until you and Sim figure shit out.”

he’s not wrong but she’s not wrong for wanting love

“This your fucking fault. Had you just trapped my brother, we wouldn’t even be here right now. I would be celebrating being an uncle again and a God father.”

OH SHUT UP SKHSKSJSJ

“Who you gonna make the God father, Rich? That nigga crispier than a hot dog on the grill at the hood’s block party… your future baby daddy made sure of it.” I snorted while laughing, because he didn’t tell any lies. “Anyway, Capri I will call you later.” “Don’t try and end the call and not tell me who you messing with, B.” I cursed myself because I thought we had gotten over that conversation and he had forgotten about it. “Zay.” He remained quiet before he blurted. “Why, Blair? I actually fuck with his music, and now I gotta take him out… fuck.”

quameer is too damn much! he better leave that poor zay alone!

“You think he’s going to tell his brother?” I asked, still worried about what Quasim would think when I shouldn’t have been. “So? Maybe that will put some fire under his ass to stop being so scary when it comes to you.” Capri shrugged her shoulders.

shit it better cause my girl blair can’t keep running and begging for you to choose her

I wasn’t the perfect woman, or person. I had my own share of trauma and trust issues; however, I was a catch. I was worth the chase, worth lowering his walls down to let me in.

PERIOD.

“You should know me better than that. No nigga can ever make me jealous of what’s already mine… and you are mine, my love.”

you be talking the talk but imma need you to walk that shit

Recommendation: Listen to ‘Freeze’ by LL Cool J + Lyfe Jennings

the music recommendations >>>

“Tell me that you want only him, and I promise I’ll leave you alone, Anjo.” He spoke lowly, caressing my face.

“I want him, Quasim.” “I don’t believe you, though.” He took control of my face and kissed me on the lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth, as his other hand lifted my dress and found its way into my panties. He slipped his fingers inside of me as he continued to suck my entire soul through my mouth.,

jesus 😩 see this is the shit he be doing that keeps blair stuck as fuck

“Let me decide that. You’re making that decision for me and that’s not fair to me. Quasimmy, how can we share what we did in Italy, and then you come home like I’m nothing. Like everything we shared and did was worth nothing.” He rested his forehead against mine and sighed. “You mean everything to me, Blair… fucking everything. I don’t want you to ever think you mean nothing because you mean everything.”

then SHOW HER DAMMIT 😭

“Good night, Anjo.” “Blair.” I called behind him. He stared at me, waiting for me to elaborate on what I was talking about. “Good night, My Anjo.” He repeated himself, and I went inside, slamming the door behind me.

he cannot trick me!

She loved me. Blair had never said those words to me, it was the way she stared at me. How she became so choked up within a simple conversation. I knew she loved me because I loved her, too, and wanted to tell her. I wanted to scream the shit, and fear prevented me from doing that. It prevented me from doing a lot of things that my heart desperately wanted, and my heart wanted her.

release him from the shackles of fear

A bridge never gets to rest; it must always stand tall, no matter how heavy the load it carries.

It was crazy because life continues, even when you lose the people most important to you. The ball still dropped to signal a New Year, meanwhile, you were still stuck in the year you lost your people.

😢 i cannot imagine feeling like that when losing the one you love

“Anjo?” She turned to look at me as I smirked. “I’m making it a problem.”

Recommendation: Listen to ‘Far away’ Marsha Ambrosius

this song makes me cry every time

Tyshawn would promise me that he would get clean and then he would be gone for three days and come in with different clothes, high as a damn kite. This had been my life since I decided to stay. I decided to stay and help him and none of my help was accepted. Every time I tried to talk to him about going to rehab, he would cuss me out so bad or put his hands on me because he accused me of thinking he was an addict. He was.

and yet he still believes blair is the only one for him smh if he meant punching bag then maybe

I took the first step down the steps and felt his hand around my neck yanking me back. “If this baby got you behaving different, then you need to go ahead and get rid of it like I first told you.”

oh my god…yo he gotta fucking DIE!

With those words, he shoved me down the flight of stairs. I fell, the impact moving from my back, to my stomach as I tumbled, the pain in my body settling in until my vision blurred, and everything turned black. Last thing I saw was Tyshawn standing at the top of the stairs with this menacing look. My boy stopped kicking…

she was having a boy 🥺 FUCK TOOKIE!

Recommendation: Listen to ‘What Are We Gonna Do’ by Dru Hill

I refused to ever acknowledge that I had given birth because that wasn’t a birth worth celebrating. That wasn’t the same birth that I had witnessed with my clients. If anything, it was medicated torture that I experienced, and I would never say that I had given birth. My baby was snatched from me, and I never got the chance. A chance to have him in this world with me. He was gone before I made it to the hospital, and that was something I had to live with.

they both been through so much and with them both losing a child smh

I didn’t want to tell him about losing my son because I was embarrassed. It was bad enough that he knew that Tyshawn was putting his hands on me, but to know he was the reason for our son being born stillborn, and I remained with him, was something I couldn’t deal with right now.

battered woman syndrome

“I’m so sorry, my love… I wish things could have been different for us when it came to parenthood.” As soon as the words left his mouth, I let out a loud wail, as I trembled in his arms. It was hard knowing that I never experienced something that I had wanted so bad. I’ve never wanted anything more than becoming a mother.

she deserves motherhood more than anyone

“I want you, Quasimmy,” I whispered into his ear, and his body reacted to me. This man… The head of the Inferno Gods, as ruthless as they came, and my words caused him to react. If I never felt like that girl before, I damn sure felt like her in this moment, as his hands continued to rub my back in counterclockwise motions.

“I need you, Blair.” He whispered.

i want to trust the process so bad because i can see how much he really loves her

“I love you, Quasim,” I blurted before I could stop myself. My heart slammed against my chest in suspense as I waited for him to react, or even speak. He peered up at me, his body frozen as if he had imagined what I nearly yelled out to him. “Baby, please… I want to know that I’m not in this alone. Quasim, I have loved you, and I want to continue loving you. I didn’t lie when I told you that I wanted to give you babies and wear your last name.” I continued on, as he hovered over me.

the way she wears her heart on her sleeve and tries so hard to accommodate to his healing yet the energy isn’t being reciprocated. c’mon simmy fight for you girl!

“I told you that I need more ti⁠—” “Time that I don’t have to give. I truly hope that you find who you’re looking for, because she’s not me. I cannot continue living on the little pieces of affection and attention you give me. I want more and I deserve more… night, Quasim.” I held the door open and he walked through, continuing toward the stairs, never looking back.

bro this is just UGH it’s like i understand but she cannot keep fighting for this man’s love if she’s not getting anything in return.

I slid down the door and pulled my legs to my chest while sobbing about what could have been for us. It hurt so much because I loved this man. I’ve loved a man before, and I had to move on from him, and Quasim was no different. I needed to do what was best for me, even if it hurt.

goddamn you quasim for making my girl cry

I felt like a fucking cornball as I left her there, naked and wanting me. The minute she said those words, though I suspected it, I froze and didn’t know what to say or do. Fear crippled my ass. I was someone that was always so sure and in control of everything and in that moment, I lost control of my own body.

as you should feel

My body and mind were fucking working against each other. It was like my heart was ready for everything that came with loving Blair, and then my mind was reminding me what happened the last time I loved someone. They were taken away from me.