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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jahquel J.
Read between
October 1 - October 19, 2025
The bartender looked around before leaning closer to us. “We’re not supposed to say anything, but we got a threat called into the restaurant not too long ago. My manager said a man calmly called and said that he’ll torch this building to the ground if his wife doesn’t leave now,
“I’m sorry, Zay. We were not even on speaking terms, and had some issues, so when I went, I didn’t think we would even talk. I’m sorry for leading you on.” He smirked, as we continued to drive. “It’s clear he cares a lot about you… nigga got all these IG’s making sure I bring yo ass home.”
This conversation was a long time coming, and something that needed to be had between me and Zay. I couldn’t keep stringing him along, when it was clear I wanted to be with Quasim. It wasn’t fair to him, and he deserved more than what I was giving him. He was a good guy, and I prayed he found someone that treated him well.
I opened it slowly and looked at him before taking in what was in the box. It was a gold rosary. The tears clouded my eyes before I could even thank him. To know Quasim was to know that he held his faith close to his heart, and he was open about it. Everyone knew that he kept his bible and little black book with him, even when we traveled. In Italy, I had watched him plenty of mornings, sitting on the top deck with both.
He gently took it from my hands and flipped it over. Inscribed into the back, on each side of the cross, were our names. Quasim on one end Blair on the other end. “If we keep this at the center of us, we don’t ever have to worry about this foundation being faulty. I played games, fell back, and allowed you to think you were in this alone, and I’m sorry for that, my love. I’m here now, and not going anywhere. I’m telling you now that I’m in this.”
I want her so bad. My heart craves her, but I know that I’m not ready. She comes with love, a lot of that shit. I know she can heal me. She can make me feel again. Make life worth living again. Blair makes me whole whenever she’s around me and she doesn’t even know the shit.
“I always say that God don’t be hearing me, but I pray to him anyway. He listened to me; he heard me when I prayed for you. I’ve always prayed for you to beat this, for you to be successful, and to have all that is happening for you. I wanted this for you, and I’ve witnessed you make it happen on the sidelines… I wanna be your man, Anjo. I don’t want to play the sidelines when it comes to you anymore.”
The tears were threatening to fall because it felt so good. To have him stare me in the eyes, never breaking eye contact as he was fucking me, marking what he knew was already his felt like a dream. To make love. Anybody could have fucked me, Quasim was making love to me. This wasn’t just pussy to him, I meant something to him.
“Baby, I need you to know that I’m doing whatever the fuck I have to, to protect you. You had a pussy ass nigga that hurt and played with you.” I could see the darkness enter his eyes when he mentioned Tyshawn. “I’m letting you know that when it comes to you, the woman that will have my last name, I’m not fucking playing around. I’ll blow a fucking block up behind you, Anjo.”
“No accidents.” He held up his thumb and I smiled so wide. I didn’t need to give Gams the heads up before leaving for Bali because she already knew. “My boy… I’m proud of you.” Changing his environment helped with him not wetting the bed. He was safe, getting as much food as he wanted, and was having fun being a child.
I hated when someone could spot a weakness of mine, and Elijah was a weakness for me. Like I would blow a block up behind Blair, I would do the same with him. With her being gone, it made me question what the fuck she was doing. Shit, maybe she went to that Mexico rehab that she was chatting about. I knew one thing; Elijah was safer with me than being with his own mother.
i just know the bond between him and elijah is gonna make me shed happy tears. simmy is getting a second chance to live again 🥹
Elijah had met Blair when she came over for dinner before the concert. She called him very handsome, which made him happy. My boy needed his confidence built up because those snotty fucks in his school teased him. It was the reason he kept a fresh line up and new clothes since I had started looking out for him. The closet in the guest room was filled with the clothes and sneakers that I had purchased for him. Whenever he got his hair cut, or he put on a brand-new outfit, I could see his confidence grow.
The sound of pounding on her door caused us both to look at the door. I walked over toward the top of the fridge and grabbed my shit before going to the door. When I looked through the peephole, it was Capella. He was standing in the hall in socks, sweat shorts, and no shirt on, with his gun in his hand. “What the fuck? Thought something happened to her.” I looked around him, and Aimee was in the doorway of her apartment with her gun. “What the hell was that scream about?”
“Why so many roses, Simmy?” She wondered. I kissed her chin. “A rose for every time I wanted to be there and couldn’t be. A rose for every moment I missed, even before knowing you. A rose for all the memories and laughs that we’ll have in our future, cause I love your fucking laugh.” I moved closer to her ear. “A rose for every time I get to watch that face you make when I’m making you cum. I’m always going to give you your flowers in more ways than one… you went so long without getting them that I’m not ever letting a moment pass where you don’t get them from me verbally and physically.”
“She had come over to pick Ry up when we first came home from the hospital.” Capri paused while trying to keep her composure. “I was nice and showed her Rayce, and she was talking over her… why Meer told her to back up because he didn’t want her blowing the souls of other children in his baby’s face.”
We were in her Dodge Charger because my new truck would have stood out like a sore thumb. Capri yawned again, while leaning back in her seat as we looked out for him. We saw when he parked but hadn’t seen him since he parked his car. “It may sound crazy, but some chick Kew texted him. He wanted to run me out the restaurant, then I’m going to make sure his ass knows the same applies.”
I watched as Quasim walked to the car and knocked on the window. “Yo, what up, Diablo?” someone in the car called out as they extended their hand out the window. He was talking to them and then dapped them up, and went to walk away. Then, he pulled his gun out his hoodie and shot multiple times into the window.
I nodded my head, and kissed his lips, lowering myself down onto my knees, and pulling at his pants. All that talk about his dick not getting hard for an insecure woman was bullshit because his dick was hard as I put it into my mouth while never breaking eye contact with him.
“How’s mommy today?” The smile on my father’s face couldn’t even be explained with words. He had lost something when my mother’s condition worsened. “She fucking wrote my name, Pop.” Blaze smiled. “Wrote mine first.” My father looked at him. “Cause she felt bad for yo big headed ass.” Blaze laughed. “Hater.”
Whenever I was with Blair or Elijah, I felt at peace. My mind was quiet, and I was able to enjoy myself. Elijah had become the best part of my mornings since I started feeding and taking care of him. He talked too damn much in the morning, but I looked forward to that little knock on the door every day. With Anjo, the walls were slowly coming down the more I saw how crazy she was about me. The fact that she followed me, and had plans on jumping out to fight some chick that didn’t exist still made me laugh.
The reason I knew how to knit was because I used to go to the senior center that was a few blocks from my house after I lost Harley. As much as I enjoyed sitting in the house in my grief, at times my thoughts scared me, and I didn’t want to be around the IG’s or my family, so I went to the senior center and volunteered.
The more I came around, the more those thoughts stopped consuming me. Being around people that have experienced life, loss, and grief was healing for me in a way. If they had lost, loved, lost, and loved again, who says that I couldn’t have the same thing?
being around seasoned people who’s seen and done a lot brought him reassurance and comfort about his own struggles
“Think that bitch loyal? She gonna ride with you when she couldn’t even ride for me… good fucking luck. Blair goes wherever she can squeeze herself into.” “And it’s on my dick… how about you worry about why the fuck you out here living life like Frankie Lymon, eh?” I referred to him as the main nigga in the movie ‘Why do fools fall in love’ the main nigga was on heroin.
On the wall above her bed, she had pictures of her favorite princesses, and a picture of Quasim, Harley, and Cherie. They were both kissing her cheeks as she smiled with a toothless grin in the middle of them.
Every day, he had to come in here and see the sink that used to be hers. He had to brush his teeth in here alone, a home that was supposed to be for his family. Tears fell down my face as I looked in the bathroom, seeing a pink, fluffy towel that looked like it hadn’t been touched in a long time.
no wonder he was so depressed. everything remained untouched after they were gone. having to see and feel that reminder of them not here anymore would drive anyone insane.
It was different experiencing it. This home was a museum of his old life, and he had been living in his past and grief for years. How could he truly move on, when every part of his home reminded him of his past life with them?

