How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science of Finding Love

by Logan Ury

Great relationships are built, not discovered. A lasting relationship doesn’t just happen. It is the culmination of a series of decisions, including when to get out there, whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, when to settle down with the right one, and everything in between. Make good decisions, and you propel yourself toward a great love story. Make bad ones, and you veer off course, doomed to repeat the same harmful patterns over and over.

Behavior change is a two-step process. First we’ll learn about the invisible forces driving your behavior, those errors in judgment that lead to costly mistakes. Mistakes like refusing to commit because you always wonder if there’s someone better out there (Chapter 4), pursuing the prom date instead of the life partner (Chapter 7), or staying in bad relationships after their expiration date (Chapter 14). But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to action. (Knowing you shouldn’t date “bad boys” or “manic pixie dream girls” doesn’t make them any less appealing.) You have to actually do something about it. That’s where the second part of behavioral science comes in. Tried-and-tested techniques can help you jump from knowing that information to doing something about it.