Project Hail Mary

by Andy Weir

The still-inflated catheter yanks right out of my penis. And that does hurt. It’s like peeing a golf ball. I scream and writhe on the floor.

!@$#%

I swear it’s better than sex.

All right, genius brain: come up with something! …I’m hungry. You have failed me, brain.

lol. That's genius.

“That’s a study by a failed company in Thailand.”

Knock-knock-knock. No, that’s not creepy at all. Being in a spaceship twelve light-years from home and having someone knock on the door is totally normal.

“So you’re from Thailand, I assume?”

Deadline-induced quality issues: a problem all over the galaxy.

“Are all Russians crazy?” “Yes,” he said with a smile. “It is the only way to be Russian and happy at the same time.” “That’s…dark.” “That’s Russian!”

have to wait for my computer to wake up.” “Hurry.” “Okay, I’ll wait faster.” “Sarcasm.”

the centrifuge will fling me off into space and I’ll become Adrian’s newest moon.