Alchemised

by SenLinYu

“We have to stop hurting ourselves for each other,” she finally said. “Both of us. We’re not going to last if this is the only way we know how to love.”

Amaris lifted her head and gave a low whine and licked across Kaine’s entire face. He grimaced and pushed her nose away. He sighed, tilting his head back. “I’ve killed so many people,” he finally said. “I never thought I’d get stuck on an animal of all things.”

She paused at the desk and found papers and pens, and etching plates and styluses, all arranged in the drawers as if waiting for her. There was enough in this room to keep her busy for a lifetime. That was what the room was, a life Kaine had tried to set her up with.

“No, but why does everything feel wrong? Like it’s not even real. This is what we wanted.” He pulled her into his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin. “I don’t think that an ordinary life will ever feel real for either of us.”

It was like watching someone starve to death, him looking for you.

“You have to care. You have to choose to care. The way you are, if you don’t, you won’t—and she’ll know. Just like you did. You cannot do that to her. She has to be someone that you decide to care about.”

Lila was saying something, but Helena could only stare as the baby furrowed her featherlight eyebrows, eyes widening briefly. They were as bright silver as a lightning storm. Helena gave a sob and held her tighter. “Kaine—she has your eyes.”

Kaine was frozen as he stared at her. He’d stopped breathing, and his fingers spasmed, trembling as he finally reached out. He barely brushed the baby’s palm, as if he thought his touch might poison or break her. The tiny hand instantly closed around his finger, gripping it. Helena watched him and recognised the expression that slowly filled his eyes as he stared at the tiny person tenaciously clinging to him: possessive adoration.

Once Enid could safely sit up, she would spend half the day sitting on Kaine’s shoulders, riding about with him while he walked the perimeter of the property over and over, checking all the buildings and visiting Amaris, who would vibrate with excitement but hold utterly still when Enid tugged her ears and patted her. Kaine talked to Enid more than he talked to anyone, even Helena.

Enid might have been a perfect child, if not for the terrible influence of Apollo Holdfast.

Pol planned to be a warrior someday, and Enid wanted to be one, too. Both children held Lila in high esteem because she was a warrior with a metal leg, which they found significantly more interesting than their own legs.

Lila was staring at the fire, the expression on her face so intense, so yearning, she looked as if she might slip her hands into it if it would let her touch Luc again.

And whenever you see Lumithia, that means I’m thinking about you, and when you see the sun shining, that’s your dad, watching you for me.”

The High Necromancer, Morrough, once known as the first Northern alchemist, Cetus, died on a spring day.

Newspapers across the continent featured a photo of Lila Bayard emerging from the rubble of the Alchemy Tower, helmet gone, face filthy, her armour streaked with blood. The brutal scar across her face was starkly visible, sharpening the look of cold triumph as she dragged the remains of Morrough’s mutated and rotting corpse behind her.

Pol would go to Paladia as a Holdfast, and he and his mother would rebuild what had been dearest to his family’s heart. The Alchemy Institute.

I know you think he’s a tragic hero with no choice, but he’s done the most terrible things. People talk about Morrough, make jokes about him, but do you know who no one ever jokes about? The High Reeve.

Now Pol would be in their clutches, but even knowing that, Lila couldn’t leave her family, country, or legacy. It was not in her nature to give up a fight.

I know you love Kaine, and he loves you, I don’t deny that. But I don’t think you realise how inhumanly cold he is to anyone who isn’t you or E. The rest of the world could burn and he wouldn’t care. I don’t think he’d even notice. Is this really what you want?” “I know what he’s like,” Helena said sharply. “It’s the reason you and I are alive.”

“Love isn’t as pretty or pure as people like to think. There’s a darkness in it sometimes. Kaine and I go hand in hand. I made him who he is. I knew what that array meant when I saved him. If he’s a monster, then I’m his creator.”

“Why do you have holes in your wrists?” Enid asked. “No one else has holes like that.” Helena’s chest tightened as she looked down. She was usually careful to cover them, but she’d been distracted and pushed her sleeves up to work. Eight years was a long time to hide anything from a nosy child.

“I was captured for a while, and it wasn’t very nice, so that’s why I decided to run away and have you instead. It’s been much more fun.”

“Pity someone didn’t kill her,” Kaine finally said. “Someone did,” Helena said in a voice that was almost a hiss. Kaine stared at her blankly.

Kaine gave a low sigh, and when he looked up, the sharpness of him reemerged like a raw blade. The version of himself that he wore perfectly on the island whenever Enid could see him—softness, crooked smiles, quiet monologues. It all vanished, and now he was real again. As cold and gleaming as razor-edged steel.

“She deserved to die after what she did to you.” His voice was unrelenting, unapologetic. “I couldn’t leave her once I knew where she was hiding.” She shook her head. “You shouldn’t have looked. You should have left it alone.” She glared at him for a moment longer and then burst into tears. “I’m so glad she’s dead.”

“I hope she suffered, but I didn’t want it to be you—why is it always you?” She buried her face in his chest. “I hated her. I hated her so much. I’m so glad she’s dead.”

“So, what do we do now?” The corner of his mouth curved into a smile that had only ever been for her. “Anything. Whatever you want.”

She was a non-active member of the Order of the Eternal Flame and did not fight.