More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“Perfect,” Stroud finally said, stepping back and taking several more notes. “You’re finally ready.” Helena stared dully at the ceiling, debating whether to give Stroud the satisfaction of asking what she meant. Stroud stood waiting, and finally she relented. “Ready for what?” “Enrolment in my repopulation program.”
I wouldnt want to be her
“Well, they did try to make things difficult. I had to practise several times on a few of the extra girls we had in the program. It wasn’t any loss, don’t worry. Not every resonance is worth replicating, and it’s good to have a few spares for consolation; some of the sires don’t take it well when we don’t have any availability for their repertoires.”
Jesus
Even if she did stop resisting transference, if she cooperated with Ferron, wouldn’t they just forcibly impregnate her afterwards?
They were careless, really; they should have taken out the womb, although I would have replaced it if they had.
HIGH chance
“It’s time you had children. I know your family’s concern is with iron, but you have a wife for that. As our other animancer, the High Necromancer has chosen you to be the first to make an attempt with Marino here.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
You’ll have two months to produce results, or she’ll be transferred to Central, and we’ll see if we have better luck with other candidates.”
Stroud touched Helena’s chin with the tip of her finger. “With that in mind, I think you’d best learn to watch that tongue of yours. I don’t have to let you keep it.”
And shes back to full evil for me
Ferron did not reappear until the following evening. When he did, his expression was hard, but his eyes seemed to slide off her, as if he couldn’t bring himself to look at her anymore.
Dont think hes happy about this either
“It’s not tonight,” he said abruptly. “I’m told”—he was still not looking at her—“you won’t be fertile for three more days.”
God this is so creepy
When Ferron walked into her room, she gave a ragged gasp and nearly burst into tears. When he saw her, he seemed to almost turn, as if to walk out.
I feel bad for the both of them
His eyes flicked between her and the door as if still debating with himself.
There was a touch between her legs, something warm and slippery. She flinched away, then realised it was oil.
A small mercy at least
She gave a frantic, panicking gasp, unable to keep from recoiling just as he jerked and stilled. He was gone so suddenly, it was as if he’d evaporated. Helena opened her eyes and couldn’t see him anywhere. The violent sound of retching emerged from the bathroom.
Not going great for either of them
Helena’s skin crawled until Stroud stopped. “So, how was it?” “Horrible,” Helena said, looking away.
insufferable woman
“There.” Stroud let go, letting Helena topple sideways on the bed. “You’ll enjoy it much more now.”
DUDE THIS FEELS EVEN MORE INVASIVE
Helena lay paralysed, unable to resist or scream as Stroud arranged her on the bed, flat on her back, legs parted. No. No. No.
This is just getting worser
Helena waited for what felt like hours, want carving itself into her bones. Her body screamed for movement, for touch, for friction, need crawling beneath her skin.
This is so much worse because it isn't her want
No good choices, just worse and worse, which way to hate herself forever.
Bad luck all the way
How did she fit into Ferron’s plans? Whatever machinations were in place, she somehow played a role. He was too invested in her safekeeping for it to be otherwise. Ferron devoted an excessive degree of effort to ensuring her well-being while trying not to appear so.
Fishier than a fish cannery
She kept thinking about his hesitation when she asked him to kill her. He had considered it. Why? If she was a necessary part of his plan, how could killing her possibly be an option? But if she wasn’t, why all the effort?
He turned, slipped a tablet under his tongue, and when he turned back, his gaze went through her.
OH hes taking those pills he gave her at first. To bare what he's doing...
“Oh, Marino.” His thumb trailed along her neck, following the scar below her jaw. “If I’d known what pain you’d cause me, I never would have taken you.”
“But at this point I suppose I deserve to burn. I wonder if you’ll burn, too.” His face was so close the words brushed against her lips, and his mouth crashed against hers.
She bolted, fleeing through the house as the reality of what she’d done nearly ripped her legs from beneath her. She’d been receptive to Ferron.
She wasn’t going to let her mind trick her into wanting the attention of the person responsible for starting the war.
“I think there’s something wrong with me,” she said at last.
He gave her a sidelong glance which communicated that this was obvious.
“He believed that with his methods, he could make subjects proactively compliant. That if they were conditioned with a sufficiently strong sense of dependence, they would begin to rationalise and justify any—any harm they suffered, and even try to form an emotional connection or even feelings towards the person controlling them, as a sort of survival instinct.”
Definitin of Stockholm
“I would rather spend the rest of my life being raped in Central than spend a minute of it having feelings for you.”
He is the lesser of two evils
You know, Falcon Matias left his quarters almost entirely intact. He had a whole stack of correspondence from Ilva dated from when you were in training. She knew all she had to do was dangle Holdfast’s life over your head, and you’d do whatever she asked.” He tilted his head back. “You would have done anything for your friends: made all the hard choices, paid the price without complaint, whored yourself for the war effort.
Comment after a few more chapters*
Ferron was 100% right when he said this. She has been used by everyone, even those she trusted the most./
“Let me be very clear, then. I don’t want you. I never wanted you. I am not your friend. There is nothing I want more than the moment I’m finally done with you.”
“You said she was afraid of shadows. If she’s going to keep adding things perpetually, you should make a list and put them up on the wall somewhere.” She rolled her eyes, arms crossed at her chest. “Shouldn’t she be glad to know the conception efforts are over?”
“No. And you should have known that. I’m beginning to think you’re purposely torturing her. Why is that?”
“I appreciate you have a fanatical devotion to his memory, but psychologically torturing a prisoner does very little when she has no memory that it even happened. Neither your program nor your rank grant you personal revenge on my prisoner.”
The only reason you hold any rank whatsoever is because those more suited to the task are all dead.
BURN
“Things—are st-still in the early stages—” Stroud stammered, her face now a stark combination of white with red-stained cheeks. “I am a legitimate—” “Your ‘program’ is a spectacle.” Ferron’s voice grew low and taunting. “Your lab assistants are better qualified than you are. Vivimancy is the only unique skill you possess, and I am far more competent in that field than you.”
Hes eating her up
“I’m so sorry.”
All kinds of fucked up
“You are not allowed to hurt yourself or do anything that might cause an abortion or miscarriage,” he said. “You’ll be monitored full-time now, just in case your newfound desperation drives you to previously unknown heights of creativity.”
She stood, holding her book tightly against her chest. He sighed with irritation. “You cannot bring that; it weighs nearly five pounds.”
Me with this book
“No one is going to hurt your baby,” he said, meeting her eyes. She gave a small gasp of relief. It was what she’d so desperately wanted him to say.
I think you meant to say "OUR BABY" mofoker
“You’ll say anything, won’t you?” she said, her voice shaking. “I guess you have to, whatever it takes to ‘maintain my environment.’ ”
She went outside alone the next day, intent on poisoning herself with everything and anything she could find.
And I dont blame her
She stopped beside Helena, not really looking at her at all. She flipped the duvet back and shoved Helena’s nightgown up to her stomach without warning. Helena flinched, and Ferron looked away.
Oh Ferron
Helena stared, stricken. “There.” Stroud sounded pleased. “Your heir—” She caught herself. “Well, progeny, I suppose we should say.” Ferron’s face had gone ashen.
The High Necromancer says that his power was so great, he’d claimed every drop of his mother’s life while still in the womb and was birthed from her corpse upon the funeral pyre. We’ll have to be sure to maintain Marino. Perhaps if we’re lucky, we’ll end up with both a baby and the memories before she succumbs to the Toll.”
Try saving both?
She was poked and prodded by countless doctors, but none offered useful advice. When they’d gone, Ferron would sit on the edge of the bed and smooth her hair.
Ferrooooooon
Sometimes he would take her hand, his fingers moving absently against hers. The first time he did it, she thought he was playing with her fingers; then she realised he was massaging them.
She felt like an hourglass, the final grains of sand finally running down. It was almost over. She could feel herself slipping away. The room flipped as she was dragged up and crushed tight. “Stay…please…stay.”
Everything was falling in fragments around her as Ferron reappeared, his face white with rage, his eyes glowing that bright unearthly silver. “I have warned you, if something happens to you, I will personally raze the Eternal Flame. That isn’t a threat. It is a promise. Consider your survival as much a necessity to the Resistance as Holdfast’s. If you die, I will kill every single one of them.”
Comment after starting part 2*
AS YOU SHOULD FERRON, KILL EVERYONE WHO HAS TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF HER
