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She had to endure. To stay alert. That way she would be ready. She had to stay ready. She would not let herself fade away.
Some necromancer in the crowd would hurry forward, eager to show off, and in a matter of seconds that dead body would get up again.
All she knew was that as long as those manacles remained locked in place, she wasn’t an alchemist at all.
“The Undying didn’t do this.” She gestured at her face. “We did it ourselves.
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if you’re messed-up looking, they won’t keep you for long.”
My heart
“Yes. We are aware of what happened to Bayard. Nonverbal. Dependent. His wife had to care for him like a child,”
“The mind, I was told, resisted another’s presence, but this healer believed that with many small treatments, it was possible. Like learning to tolerate a poison.”
The guild students didn’t even need to attend; their places and futures were all assured. For them, enrolment at the Institute was a status symbol. Once they had their certification, they’d all leave.
Nepo babes
Helena suspected this was why Morrough was so interested in transference—the method had the potential to allow the Undying to move into living bodies instead.
If what Grace had said was true, the High Reeve preferred murder to strategic choices like interrogation. Men prone to violence were generally thoughtless, acting with emotion first and applying reason after.
Preach woman
If she could provoke him, he might kill her on impulse. One mistake was all she’d need, and her secrets would be lost.
This was exactly the kind of person who would be easy to manipulate. Helena would only need to be insufficiently cowed, and he’d snap her neck. With luck, she might be dead within a fortnight.
Awesome luck
“The war is over. What is it you think you’re protecting in that brain of yours?”
Gee I wonder why she cant tell you anything
Aurelia’s transmutational work was quick and flashy. In class, she would have been docked for excess movement and imperfect iron distribution,
Burn
She squeezed the cup, trying to bend it and work it. If she could break it, she’d have a nice sharp edge to slit her arteries open.
Jesus she's really trying to find a way
She went back to the bedroom and was disappointed to find that there weren’t any drape cords for her to try to hang herself with.
Girl
Untying the bundle, she found sets of underclothes, wool stockings, and one dress, red as blood. There were stitch marks along the hems and the neck and bodice from where the details and lace had been carelessly ripped off to make it as plain as possible.
Helena wished bitterly she hadn’t flinched at the sight of those roses.
Helena had ranked first on the National Alchemy Exam for their year, beating out Ferron, who’d taken the spot the year before.
During the six occasions Helena took the national exam, top rank had swung like a pendulum. Helena Marino. Kaine Ferron. A rivalry, albeit an indirect one, never openly acknowledged.
Bet that got his panties in a twist
She’d beaten Ferron before. If she was careful, and clever, she would do it again.
BEAT HIS ASS
If the Ferrons were short on money, it was likely because Aurelia’s skirts required a dozen yards of imported silk.
Ha!
Aurelia might have an unusual resonance for iron, but she seemed new to money.
Burn part 2
Helena’s limbs began moving against her will, like a puppet manipulated across a stage. Her legs bent, lifted, weight shifting, step, another step. She fought against it, tensing, but it only made her bones feel like they’d snap. It stopped once she was within arms’ reach. He tilted her chin up with a fingertip, their eyes meeting. “See?” he said. “It’ll be easier if you obey.”
Woof
What if she just threw herself over the balcony?
Any opportunity I see
“Did you think I didn’t know you’d try to kill yourself?” Ferron asked venomously. “As if there’s anything the Eternal Flame loved more than dying for their causes.”
Gradually the shivering stopped. Another gust of wind tore through her. She felt thin as paper, so tired she could fall asleep out there. Which might indicate hypothermia…
Creative indeed
Paladia’s economy was expected to continue to shrink due to a multigenerational loss of alchemists. The solution, the author declared, was sponsored births.
It was a breeding program being passed off as an economic solution.
Now it seemed Stroud had every intention of testing exactly how heritable resonance was or wasn’t, and she intended to use the prisoners on the Outpost to do it.
Shiiiit and Farron is a vivimacer like her
The part of her that was afraid did not care about being rational.
I feel his
“When I see dark places and I don’t know where they end, I feel like I’ll disappear inside them, but this time, I’ll never be found.”
“You know,” Ferron said, jolting her from her thoughts, “when I heard it was you I’d be getting, I was looking forward to breaking you.” He shook his head. “But I don’t think it’s possible to exceed what you’ve done to yourself.”
Ouch
he’d mockingly point out the location of the various light switches that she was “too dense” to observe on her own.
Insufferable man
“It was one of the conditions the Falcon had for allowing me in the city. Since vivimancy is a corruption of the soul that begins in the womb, it could—it could be passed on. I’d already taken vows as a healer that I wouldn’t ever marry or have children, but he—” She swallowed. “He wanted to be sure.”
And as always...women are to be blamed
“And of course you agreed,” Stroud said, withdrawing her hand. “Because you thought they’d accept what you are if you only reduced yourself enough.”
When a villain delivers a powerful line with a lot of truth
Children like her were told their soul’s corruption must be purified, and that if they did what was asked, they might be wanted someday.” Stroud shrugged. “Of course, neither the Faith nor Paladia ever did want them for anything but forced labour.
Some choices had to be made without him, certain sacrifices that would have paralysed him to make or even know of. That didn’t make him a puppet. It made him human.
“I have no desire to touch you,” he said, sneering. “Your presence here is offensive enough.” “Small mercies,” Helena said in a dry voice.
Lol
“Perhaps Stroud’s wrong, and you were sympathetic to our cause.” He couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d struck her.
Even without the flames, she’d always felt warm near Luc; even the cold Paladian winters were thawed by his presence. All alone now, she missed him so intensely, her bones and skin ached for the familiarity and comfort of a hug.
*hugs*
“I should have refused your mother’s pleas and had you killed in the womb,” Atreus said, his face contorted with rage. “You deserve none of the suffering we endured for you.”
Father of the year
“Come here,” he said, withdrawing a vial containing several small white tablets, watching her reaction to it. “What are those?” she asked when he unscrewed the top and tapped one out. He raised an eyebrow. “I’ll tell you if you swallow it like a good girl.”
...raw
The tablets took away the good feelings as much as the bad. She was carved out and empty. An abyss instead of a human. “Is this what it’s like to be you?” He gave a dry laugh. “Like it?”
Helena nodded, her own ideas developing. This would be the perfect state to be in to finally kill herself without any sense of self-preservation holding her back.
Dug your own grave Ferron
Tucked into the shadow was an eye encased in glass. It swivelled, the pupil contracting, as if it were still alive, and stared straight at her. The iris was a beautiful, deep blue. They’re offering a lot of money for eyes, Grace had said.
it was unspoiled by the inferior environment and contributions of a female womb—the source of all humanity’s flaws.
Obviously, he wasn’t; she’d known him as an ordinary boy, and a “flawless” human would not be a mass murderer.
Debatable
A bizarre thing for an iron alchemist to wear. She could feel him watching and wondered what he’d do if she swallowed it. “Don’t swallow it.”
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