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“Relax,” he ordered. Relaxing meant I’d have to lean against him. Sink into that broad chest. Melt against his frame. Not. A. Chance. “I am relaxed.” “Sure you are.” His voice was too close to my ear.
It was an odd feeling to know this man yet know nothing about him. I knew his expressions. I knew the way he moved. I knew how the air charged when he was angry and the realm blurred when he was close.
But the truth I was terrified to admit, even to myself, was that I didn’t want to move. Unless he tossed me out of this saddle, I was going nowhere.
He searched my eyes the way I searched his. For answers. Salvation. Mercy. There was a tether between us. Gods save us when it snapped.
“I hate you.” It should have broken the moment. It should have pissed him off. But he stared at me like I was something to behold. Something to cherish. Something to protect. “Yes, you do,” he said. “Don’t forget.”
sorry.” “You didn’t hurt me.” Yes, it was tender today. My entire body was sore. But there were no marks. No bruises from his grip. “Maybe not.” The sadness in his green eyes cracked my heart. “But I could have.”
“You don’t have to hide who you are, Cross. Not here.” Not in Turah. Not with him.
I wished I was excited to see Zavier. But I wasn’t. No, I was longing to see another man. And I hated myself for missing the Guardian.
Gods, he looked gorgeous. With or without the beard, I didn’t care. He was here, and he was safe. He might be the Guardian, but that didn’t stop me from worrying.
I took five shallow breaths. Six. It was easier to pretend I didn’t want him when he wasn’t staring at my mouth. When I didn’t let myself consider that he might want me, too.
He’d told me on that horseback ride from Ashmore that the gods were vindictive, manipulative bastards. Maybe he was right. By this cruel twist of fate, I was married to Zavier while this man haunted my dreams.
Emerald meant he was amused. Intrigued. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever seen him actually happy, but green was the color of his gaze when he wasn’t pissed off. They changed to varying shades of hazel when he was serious or focused or annoyed. And then there was the silver of his rage. I shouldn’t be able to read his eyes.
So I’d memorized details about the wrong man’s eyes. When my heart was crushed, I’d only have myself to blame.
“I was going to ride to Treow tomorrow. To get a horse.” My horse. Freya. He was going to go get my horse. The Guardian’s eyes flicked my way, acknowledging for the first time that I was standing there.
“And people? What happens to people if they’re bitten?” I asked the question but realized as the words tumbled off my tongue that I already had the answer. The Guardian. There was a vulnerability in his green eyes when he looked at me again. “You have Lyssa,” I whispered.
Whether they wanted me or not. “We kill the monsters. We kill them all. Every last one.” Him. He meant to kill the monsters. Then himself.
You can even tell him you killed me, just like he asked. My queen the assassin.”
“You’ll ride with us. You’ve got the outer positions. No matter what happens, nothing gets past you to her horse. Understood?”
“Stay behind me. No matter what happens,” the Guardian said, eyes dropping to the girl. “I’ve got her,” I promised. “I fucking hate this.” His eyes swirled, silver chasing away hazel.
The Guardian’s hands and eyes roamed over my body, searching for injury as he knelt beside me. “Where are you hurt?” His voice was frantic.
He took my face in his hands, dropping his forehead to mine. His thumb traced my cheek, and tingles exploded on my skin. “You’re okay.” Was he reassuring me? Or himself? “I’m okay.”
“Fuck, you are reckless, woman. Does your life mean nothing to you?” “Not when the lives of innocent children are at risk.”
“The Guardian was able to bring it down. Then we heard Evie scream.” Tillia swallowed hard. “I’ve never seen him move so fast.”
“Odessa, wait.” It wasn’t his order that made me stop. It was my name. I was always Cross or Sparrow or my queen. But rarely Odessa. I’d never loved my name more.
“I know you’re there, Cross. You’re about as stealthy as a trumpet brigade.”
“So wherever you’re going, I want to go, too.” Did that sound desperate? Yes. At this point, I was desperate.
Except he wouldn’t hurt me. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew the Guardian wouldn’t hurt me. Yes, he’d tease and scold and ridicule me until I wanted to strangle him to death. But he wouldn’t hurt me.
“All right?” His voice was a low murmur in my ear. I nodded. “Just…clumsy.” “You’re graceful in your own right.” Damn, that voice. Rugged and low, a murmur in my ear that made my insides liquefy.
I met a woman.” “Oh.” Gods. Me and my fucking mouth. The jealousy was instant. A punch to the gut stronger than Tillia’s this morning.
Something thrummed in my chest. Something strange and unfamiliar. Something that I couldn’t explain. I just knew, like I knew the Guardian wouldn’t hurt me, like I knew my name was Odessa, like I knew my eyes were gold and my hair was red, that we couldn’t kill this monster today.
“Would you kill me if necessary?” The question startled me into silence.
“Yes,” I whispered. “If I must.” “Swear
will hold you to that vow.” He dropped his gaze to the tarkin. “Odessa.”
“You asked for my name,” he said. “You told me I had to earn it.” He nodded. “Ransom. My name is Ransom.”
For as long as I’d known him, thought of him as the Guardian, it had taken no effort to adopt his name in my mind. It was like there’d always been this empty space, a hole, and I’d been waiting all this time to fill it with a name. Ransom.
I couldn’t fathom the idea of Turah without the Guardian. I’d been in this kingdom for nearly two months, and somehow, he’d become the center of this new life. The axis I seemed to orbit.
He was a man who’d follow me off the cliff, who’d jump at my side, not pull me away from its edge.
“You’re really keeping the cat?” Ransom asked. “Did you think I’d change my mind?” “Honestly? Yes.” I smiled at Faze. “I guess I have a soft spot for monsters.” Maybe they were all more than they seemed.
“Don’t make me regret giving you your own space.” “Please.” I huffed. “I would never cause trouble.” “That you actually believe yourself is the most terrifying part of that statement.” I threw up a hand. “Hey, trouble finds me. I don’t go looking for it.”
Did he regret telling me his name? Well, too bad. I liked saying it.
“Not until she can be trusted,” Ransom said. It hurt more than it should have. He’d promised never to trust me. And silly me, I’d thought maybe he’d changed his mind.
I couldn’t betray Ransom. He might not trust me. But somewhere along the way, he’d earned my loyalty.
“Touch them and you die.” Ransom, covered in soot and ash and sweat, walked through the door with a haul like Samuel’s.
hate him.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “I told you to stay quiet today.” “I couldn’t help myself. He made me mad.” “Gods save the men who make you mad.”
It preceded a smile. A real smile, wide and white. My heart skipped.
“Cross, I—” Ransom snatched my hand, stopping me before I could leave. The touch sent a spark through my veins. The calluses on his palms felt like a dream on my skin. I didn’t want them on just my hand.
It wasn’t that he’d chosen Jocelyn. It was that he hadn’t chosen me. Why was I never the first choice? Why was I always the consolation prize?
The door opened at my back. It was one of two men, and at the moment, I didn’t want to see either. “Go away.” “No.” Ransom shut the door with a click. Of course it was him. It had always been him.
didn’t want Zavier to want me. And if he’d found a connection with someone else, that meant I could stop feeling guilty. I could stop loathing myself for falling for Ransom.
Ransom wasn’t mine. He wouldn’t be mine. “I have to let go.” “Of what?” “You,” I whispered. “You are not mine to keep.”
