The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness

by J. Mark G. Williams

What is the difference between taking a break and taking a breathing space? An analogy may help. Most of us have at some time been caught in a severe downpour and have had to run for shelter, perhaps in a shop doorway. Sometimes we are simply glad to be out of the rain. We stand for a while, hoping it will stop. We are dry at the moment, but as the rain continues we know that sooner or later we are going to have to face it; the thing we tried to escape is still here. Finally, in one scenario, we go back out into the rain, grumbling, even cursing our luck as the rain drenches us. At other times, another scenario might unfold for us. We may take shelter in a very different way. We stand in a doorway for a while, aware of the prospect of getting soaked and not liking it much. We notice that we are hoping that it will stop but, seeing that it shows no sign of stopping, realize that being upset about it and worrying about how soaked we are going to get is only adding to our discomfort. So we stop clinging to the hope that it will stop raining and enter the downpour, letting ourselves be drenched and accepting that this is what is happening at the moment. Approaching the situation in this way may allow us to experience the rain itself. We may notice that there is something rather compelling about the way it is splashing off everything it hits. The rain has not stopped. We may be getting wetter and wetter. But our relationship to what is happening has changed the whole experience.