Allegiant (Divergent, #3)

by Veronica Roth

I shout her name, and she coughs again, this time more blood. She screams for help, and I scream for her, and I don’t hear anything, I don’t feel anything, but my heartbeat, but my own terror.

I went back and forth, in this scene, with getting rid of one of Four’s fears. I don’t remember why—I think I wanted to show progress, but it didn’t ultimately feel realistic. Instead, I decided to show how his fears change shape as his life changes shape. His fear of his father shifts from a more basic, almost childlike fear of the man himself to the fear of what the man has made him, which feels more adult to me. And then, of course, there’s the fear of losing Tris. As I get older, I realize that the more I open myself up to in life, the more I have to lose. That’s where this comes from for Tobias—his life is richer because of Tris, and now there’s more at stake. Have your fears changed as you’ve gotten older?