Bone White

by Ronald Malfi

At one of the urinals, he unleashed a ribbon of piss as yellow as Gatorade. As he shook off the last few drops, he liberated a fart that possessed the range and depth of a bassoon. This made him chuckle to himself as he read the bumper sticker someone—probably Bill Johnson—had stuck to the tiled wall above the urinal: MORE THAN THREE SHAKES IS PLAYING WITH YOURSELF.