This Inevitable Ruin (Dungeon Crawler Carl #7)

by Matt Dinniman

“No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country.” GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON

Mordecai. Human. Level 50. Manager of Princess Donut. This is a non-combatant NPC. This is a human. This one is something called a Canadian. Part French. Part maple syrup. He’s weirdly obsessed with ice hockey and snowmobiles and semi-erotic lumberjack fan fiction. Has a well-worn Tim Hortons loyalty card in his Velcro wallet. He says “aboot” instead of “about” and gets really, really upset when you point it out, claiming you’re hearing things and that it’s a harmful stereotype. It’s not a stereotype, and that’s exactly how it sounds. He has a relative who was trampled to death by a moose. You get the idea.