Holding the Reins (Silver Pines Ranch, #1)

by Paisley Hope

Ten minutes later, we make our way under the arches of Silver Pines, my family’s full-service equestrian ranch, and a bittersweet mixture of peace and grief settles into my bones with the view of our ranch logo.

It’s my haven, my safe space; and even with Dad no longer here, it’s still my only true home and the closest I’ll ever feel to him again.

Nash Carter is a full-of-himself, womanizing superstar, and he’s the type of man I just ran half way across the country from.

Aside from that day, it’s been at least five years since I’ve really seen her, but it doesn’t matter how much time passes, I fall right back into protective mode—just like when she was younger. It took all three of us boys to watch out for her when she became a teenager. She’s still just one of those girls who never understands her own beauty and that makes her all the more enticing to every man in this room. And for reasons I don’t understand, I can’t seem to take my eyes off of her tonight, either.

I need a minute away from CeCe’s face. Most of all I need to put a halt on this little crush or whatever this is and get back to my regular frame of mind. CeCe Ashby is off-limits and always will be, no matter how fucking good she looks in those shorts, and no matter how much history lies between us.

I thought Nash, the ice hockey player was hot? He doesn’t hold a candle to Nash, the part-time cowboy. There is just something about a rugged man in a pair of jeans and cowboy boots, and his tattered cowboy hat ready to shade his face from the sun. Cowboy Nash is in his element.

Nash Carter had my back this morning, and just like that, my whole morning feels a little bit brighter.

Spending every day with CeCe is the worst kind of torture for me. The kind I both can’t stand and race to be a part of every damn day. If it isn’t enough that she comes in every morning looking like a cross between the hot accountant and the fresh faced college girl, her brain is the most attractive thing about her. Her ideas are smart and thought out. She’s managed to organize a file room for all the paperwork, she’s sent it out to have it digitized, and she’s got our accounting system well on its way to law and order. All in under a month. When CeCe is around, everything is just a little brighter. A little more exciting. She’s like bringing sunshine into the office.

Laurel Creek, Kentucky; the only place in the continental US that needs a casual Monday.

It’s no longer uncomfortable like it was in the beginning. It’s now comforting, and somewhere over the last few weeks, I’ve come to look forward to seeing him.

This Andrew must be a special kind of stupid. What kind of a moron lets her go?

In fact, if I ever see Andrew, I won’t just be with the Ashby boys to beat him down, I’ll be first in line.

No matter how many times I tell myself not to let her in, CeCe Ashby is getting under my skin. Wade’s words ring in my mind. Watch out for her. He trusts me to care for her the way he would. I can’t let him or Wyatt down for a crush, okay, a semi-obsession at this point.

I turn my attention back to Andrew as he pays with no real friendly demeanor in his eyes. He says thank you to the server as if she’s lucky to make his coffee. No warmth, no kindness. Without even realizing it, I’m comparing him to Nash again who would take the time to tip her and tell her to say hi to her parents for him. I realize at this moment that I really haven’t been in love with Andrew in a really long time, if I ever was at all. What my

eighteen-year-old self wanted and craved is entirely different than what my twenty-five-year-old self wants and craves. I would never have been happy with him. This epiphany is about to make this conversation go a lot easier.

“Fuck you, Andrew,” I whisper-yell. “We’re done. I’m not coming back and I don’t give a shit what those women think, they were never my friends and Amy at the shelter knows everything. Now, I’ll ask you only once to stop being so ignorant about my family and this town or this meeting is over. You

said you wanted to settle this, let’s settle it. We have to sell the condo and I need the rest of my personal belongings.”

I have so many memories here I can’t even count them and he has no idea. He’s never tried to learn about my life before him, my past. He knows nothing about me really, only that I am a good trophy to keep at his side and smile at his colleagues when he needs me to. I lean back in my seat, done. Awakened. I deserve so much better than this. Come at me, asshole.

“Touch her again and I’ll fucking bury you.” Nash’s voice sends a shiver up my spine. I turn to see where he came from and recognize Shelby Christie, my former cheer coach standing under Dolcetto’s awning, her mouth hanging open with shock at what just happened. I realize that they must have been on a date as I see Andrew try to stand and Nash grip his perfectly pressed shirt collar, like he’s about to hit him again. “Nash!” I yell. He turns to face me and the fury I see behind his eyes startles me. “He cannot put his hands on you, CeCe.” “Who the fuck are you? This is between me and my fiancée,” Andrew whines, holding a hanky to his profusely bleeding nose. I smirk from behind Nash. Andrew with a broken nose in court next week is a funny thought to me. “Who the fuck am I?” Nash’s voice is calm but so deep and scary I wouldn’t want to be Andrew.

“Who the fuck am I?” he repeats, louder this time. “I’m Nash fucking Carter and I’m about to spill every one of your teeth onto this sidewalk if you call CeCe your fiancée again.” He’s holding Andrew so tightly by the collar, he’s cutting off his air supply. “She isn’t anyone’s fiancée, and she was clearly done talking to you. So, Drew, take a look at my face. Memorize it. There will never be a day you see CeCe without me beside her again. Now, if you want to walk away in one piece tonight, you’re going to apologize.” Goddamn. Yes, Mr. Carter.

“I took her home because the whole time I was with her, all I could fucking think about was you.” I say nothing, I just breathe in tiny uneven breaths. His Adam’s apple bobs as he restrains himself, still gripping my wrists, and his spicy sandalwood scent warms me. “Do you have any fucking idea how hard it is to see your face no matter who I’m looking at?”

“Do you know how I torture myself? Telling myself not to think about you? Reminding myself who you are and why I shouldn’t?”

I’m trying to fight it, I’m trying to tell myself no, that this is wrong, this is Nash, I know we shouldn’t do this but my body’s saying yes, screaming yes. Weeks of being with him everywhere, every day finally implode and I can’t do a damn thing to stop it, nor do I want to. He pulls back from me startling me and his eyes rake over my face. “I fucking want you, Rae. I need you, now, and I never need anyone, ever.” “I do too,” I moan as he kisses the corner of my lips. “What if…what if it’s just once?” I whisper, and he kisses me again then pulls his face back to look at me, a million questions in his eyes. “Just sex, I mean, just tonight. I mean…If you’re going to break your cardinal rule, you may as well go all the way.”

“I think”—Another kiss—”I’m breaking every rule I’ve ever had with you right now.”

I’m the first man to make her come over his fingers—me. Knowing that just fuels this depraved desire I’ve developed for her. I didn’t know what she was capable of, but I knew if she had never come like that before, there was a chance even she didn’t know what her body could do—and I was right. Not only was I right, she fucking soaked me and it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

“Will I be the first man to have you come on his tongue too?”

“Y-yes,”

“Such a fucking crime,” I say as I center myself between her legs. “That no one has ever taken the time to give this perfect little cunt all the attention it deserves. You are perfect, you know.” I kiss her softly on her clit, her back arches. “Absolute perfection, CeCe.”

“Just how long have you been waiting for my cock?” I ask CeCe doesn’t let even a beat of time pass. “Since the fucking moment I saw you, my first night home,” she admits. “Atta girl, way to be honest.” I kiss her lips and grin. “I’m gonna wreck you.” She looks up at me, a challenge in her eyes, and it stuns me. “So stop fucking around then, and wreck me. Condom…bedside table.”

I’m dying. Dying a slow death from the feeling of CeCe Ashby wrapped around my cock. Death by perfect pussy. Someone better write it on my headstone.

“You’re fucking paradise, Cecilia,” I whisper as I kiss her, knowing there’s not a fucking chance that just one night of her will ever be enough.

I am going into panic mode because Nash Carter is inside of me. Nash, who I’ve known most of my life and always sort of kind of drooled over from afar, especially lately. Nash—who I work for and the man who doesn’t date, but sleeps with women for sport—just gave me the most mind blowing sexual experience of my life. My poor pussy is so abused, yet so desperately in love with Nash Carter’s cock.

He told me everything in life is a choice. I could either let it pull me or I could take the reins and hold them tight,” I repeat his words. “Your future is yours and you can direct that horse any way you choose.” “I miss him so much,” CeCe says,

I never thought I’d find a view I’ve loved more than riding horseback through Silver Pines, watching the sun rise over Sugarland Mountain, until I sat across from Cecilia Ashby, freshly fucked with a coffee in the morning.

You aren’t the traveling playboy you used to be. You’ve been home for months, and I see the difference in you. What you are is afraid, Nash. And not afraid that you’ll hurt her, you’re afraid she’ll hurt you, or you’ll lose her or some form of the two.”

“You need to stop making excuses and admit how you feel to yourself. Maybe it’s gonna take you some time, but you need to figure it out. A girl like CeCe doesn’t stay single for long. You should know that by the hordes of men you have to practically beat away with a stick every time we come into this bar.”

“What CeCe tells you and what she might want are different ends of the spectrum. I can tell by looking at you right now that you care about her. Don’t waste your chance. Let the universe take control for once. Just because you lost them doesn’t mean you’ll lose her too. God offers joy and pain. She isn’t that cruel.”

“Morning, CeCe.” I lift my gaze to see devastating part-time cowboy Nash. Wranglers, white t-shirt, cowboy hat on his knee, dusty and dirty from his morning with Wade in the barns, sitting at my kitchen table with a coffee in one hand and my heart in the other.

I ran through all the scenarios in my mind about CeCe as I jogged through my woods. I pictured odd things I’ve never thought about in my life. Random things like grocery shopping together, dancing with her, taking her on a date. I’ve given up on myself completely at this point because the truth is, I’m not strong enough to fight whatever this is with her. So here I sit, in her kitchen for no reason other than to see CeCe’s beautiful face when she first wakes up and it doesn’t disappoint.

Are you even human?

Human enough to notice how pretty you look in the morning.

“Cecilia Rae, I never want to see another man’s hands on your

body again,” I say as I lean in and allow myself to kiss her once on the neck.

“And if you think for one second that you’re in here in this fucking dress, and I’m looking at anyone else, you’ve lost your damn mind.” I look back at her and my gaze meets her wide eyes. “There is nothing I want to do more right now than fuck you so hard, for so long that you’ll know, without a doubt, that the only woman I’m looking at is you.“

“I hate how much I want you right now,” she says and I smirk at her. “The feeling is mutual. Now get your purse, we’re leaving.”

“I wish you weren’t so hot, it would make my attempt at not wanting you a lot easier,” she mumbles as I start the truck, leaning her head on the cool glass. “Again, feeling’s mutual,” I bite out.

“Don’t let go, Rae,” he whispers, and I feel tears sting my eyes.

“I won’t,” I reply as I lean my head back into the pillows and continue to hum until sleep takes us.

“Because instead of pretending nothing is going on here, I think we should try something different. Let’s just hang out,” he says, and I’m speechless. “Hang out?” I repeat. “Yes.

Like I said, I’m done pretending. The fact of the matter is that something is going on. I can pretend it’s just sex, but I’m not going to pretend for one more second that I don’t want Cecilia Ashby with every fiber of my being in more ways than I’ve ever wanted a woman. So, I made my mind up. She’s with me today and she’s going to like it.