The Break-Up Pact

by Emma Lord

When you have a sister, you don’t realize how much of the way you think, the way you exist, is framed not just by your own thoughts, but hers. Don’t realize how much of her colors the way you look at the world until she isn’t in it, and you’re staring at all the same people and places you’ve known your entire life and trying to recognize some new version of them, with the old colors gone.

But by then I was so angry with him that I wouldn’t budge. I told myself it was the only choice I had, the only way to protect myself from the hurt—but now that I’m looking into Levi’s eyes, I understand that it wasn’t just that. I was looking to punish him. I wanted him to feel just as awful as I did, so I seized on my own silence like a weapon.

Excuse me 911 yes I see myself in this photo and I don't like it lol

Then she says, “Oh, trust me. I’m used to finishing off Levi’s desserts by now.” My eyes go wide and hers just stay trained on mine, unyielding. She pulls out her clutch to pay. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” I say. As I bag up the scone, something in me rises to meet her, turning to steel. “Levi’s already our best customer.”

No what's wrong with you don't sell her a damn scone you made for Levi kick her out of Tea Time! THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!!

I hope it isn’t really over. I hope this whole day was just a silly, overblown blip. I hope it so recklessly that there isn’t any other feeling left, and then I hold on to it like a balloon, trying my best not to squeeze it so tight that it bursts.

[insert SOBBING emoji :( ]

I’m not stalling because I’m scared of asking Annie. I’m stalling because I’m scared of moving forward myself.

Grief is a real bitch.

“Neither of you wants to change the other one or tell the other what to do. You just want each other to be happy. And that’s what love is supposed to look like.”

<3

“Wow. For someone who hates desserts, you’re an excellent partner-in-scones.”

Too fucking cute!!

the Tea Tide that feels like home. The Tea Tide that feels like sitting on the porch with our mom, bare feet dangling from the chairs, little hands reaching for the decaf tea she poured out of the pot. The Tea Tide that feels like looking over at Annie from the brims of our mugs, a shared spark between sisters, a happy, hopeful, messy moment in time that feels more preserved in this version of Tea Tide than it ever was.