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The higher up you go, the more your suggestions become orders.
What got them here won’t get them there.
This explains why they spend much of their time practicing what they’re already good at and little time on areas of their game that need work.
No matter how much they respect their teammates, when the team achieves great results, they tend to believe that their contribution was more significant than facts suggest.
(If your total ever comes to less than 100 percent, I suggest you find new colleagues.)
People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats.
Successful people tend to have a high “internal locus of control.” In other words, they do not feel like victims of fate.
Overcommitment can be as serious an obstacle to change as believing that you don’t need fixing or that your flaws are part of the reason you’re successful.
When we do what we choose to do, we are committed. When we do what we have to do, we are compliant.
People don’t stumble on success; they choose it.
People will do something—including changing their behavior—only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values.
Everyone, even the biggest ego in the room, has a hot button that can be pushed—and that button is self-interest.
If you press people to identify the motives behind their self-interest it usually boils down to four items: money, power, status, and popularity.
The hot button is different for each person. And it changes over
“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”
We get credit for doing something good. We rarely get credit for ceasing to do something bad. Yet they are flip sides of the same coin.
Get out your notepad. Instead of your usual “To Do” list, start your “To Stop” list. By the end of this book, your list may grow.
@actionItem
Passing judgment:
Making destructive comments:
Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”:
Speaking when angry:
Negativity, or “Let me explain
Withholding information:
Making excuses:
Clinging to the past:
Failing to express gratitude:
Punishing the messenger:
Passing the buck:
The Higher You Go, the More Your Problems Are Behavioral
Just as people tend to overestimate their strengths, they also tend to overrate their weaknesses.
But the higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.
before you speak, take a breath and ask yourself if what you’re about to say is worth it.
Try this: For one week treat every idea that comes your way from another person with complete neutrality. Think of yourself as a human Switzerland. Don’t take sides. Don’t express an opinion. Don’t judge the comment. If you find yourself constitutionally incapable of just saying “Thank you,” make it an innocuous, “Thanks, I hadn’t considered that.” Or, “Thanks. You’ve given me something to think about.”
