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Kindle Notes & Highlights
People who believe they can succeed see opportunities where others see threats.
We tend to believe that success is “earned” through an individual’s motivation and ability (even when it is not).
If you’re born on third base, you shouldn’t think you hit a triple.
The challenge is to make them see that sometimes they are successful in spite of this behavior.
People will do something—including changing their behavior—only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values.
If you press people to identify the motives behind their self-interest it usually boils down to four items: money, power, status, and popularity.
“We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.”
But the higher up you go in the organization, the more you need to make other people winners and not make it about winning yourself.
“Yes, but . . .” (Meaning: Prepare to be contradicted.)
Being smart turns people on. Announcing how smart you are turns them off.
There is never anyone in the other boat. When we are angry, we are screaming at an empty vessel.
We do this when we’re too busy to get back to someone with valuable information.
More often than not, we don’t withhold information out of malice. We do it because we’re clueless. That’s a good thing.
we accept feedback that is consistent with our self-image and reject feedback that is inconsistent.
Boston Celtics coach Red Auerbach used to say about coaching his players, “It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear.”
They think before they speak; they listen with respect; and they’re always gauging their response by asking themselves, “Is it worth it?”
“What’s in it for him?”
“Does anyone who goes to these leadership development programs ever really change?”
“You are not managing you.”
Stop trying to change people who are pursuing the wrong strategy for the organization. If they’re going in the wrong direction, all you’ll do is help them get there faster.
