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I don’t know what my problem is apart from, you know, realizing this dude right here is who I want my forever to be with. Which…yeah. I guess that’s a pretty big fucking deal.
When Joey breaks from my lips, he doesn’t go far. He kisses my temple, his hand on the back of my head keeping me close.
It’s not every day a person professes their undying love. I’m damn well gonna do it in style.
“Fuck, you smell good.” “Do I?” I ask, my pulse stuttering. “Mm. Like freshly cut wood and man. You smell like you.”
I can’t help but notice Brad’s gaze on the woman’s chest. Jealousy hits, sharper than I’m expecting, as I wonder if she’s the type of person Brad would normally go for.
“She’s pretty,” I murmur, regretting the words the moment they leave my mouth. What am I even doing? Testing him? As if I have that right. We may be…exclusive. But that doesn’t make Brad mine. Not yet.
“There’s a lot I could tell you about Joey. That he has a nice smile and a kind word for everyone he meets. That he truly is a great carpenter, and you’d be lucky to have him work on your house. I could even tell you he looks banging in a tool belt, which is the absolute truth.”
“But the thing is…none of that adequately describes Joey Delgado. Because his smile isn’t just nice. It’s that feeling you get when the sun comes out and your skin warms and all you can do is turn your face toward the source of that heat because nothing has ever felt that good.
He is kind, but he’s also generous and patient and willing to rearrange his entire world just to make the people he cares about happy. And all I want—” His voice chokes off, and my heart stutters, my own lungs...
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“You hungry?” I ask Joey. “I know it’s late, but I’m kinda craving dogs.” His lips twitch. “Sure. We can grab some hot dogs on the way home.” Home. I like that.
He grins, and Joey threads his fingers through mine. My heart skips a beat.
My throat feels tight as he pulls back, and I give him a smile and a nod.
“I won’t lie and say I want you pursuing anyone else while we’re…together. Men, women, whomever. But… I don’t want you to stop being yourself, bub. And I trust you. So even though I hope I can be the person to give you the comfort you need, I’m not going to ask you not to comfort others. Because then I’d be asking you to change. And I won’t ever do that.”
My heart beats swiftly, a heavy whoosh passing through my ears as Joey’s words settle over me. His eyes, although dark in the lamplight, are warm. Always so warm.
For someone to tell you repeatedly that they like you just as you are… That they accept you, possibly even love you, for exactly who you ...
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There’s a soft thrum of want running through my veins, as there is anytime Joey is near. An awareness of his body spread o...
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But, for now, I’m content to stay just like this. Being held by him. Holding him in return and keeping him close.
I never got to finish reading those words burning a hole in my pants pocket. My attempt to sweep Joey off his feet ended with him, well, catching me as I fell off my own. But that’s okay.
But I’m hoping desperately that this month Joey and I spent together will be the first of so many more to come. I just have to ask if he wants the same thing I do. A lifetime of bennies. A partnership. Love. And I think I know just how to do it.
“I might have gone on a bit of a spending spree,” Brad says. “But you deserve to look pretty, babe.” He pats my stomach, his touch lingering as he looks fondly over the fanny packs. I don’t even tell my traitorous heart to cut it out.
He’s wearing a long-sleeved green shirt in nearly the same color as his eyes tonight, and when he looks over at me with an instant smile, I’m hit the same way I was the first time I saw him.
The way he drew me in like a magnet, calling to the very iron in my blood to get closer and learn who he was. He still takes my breath away. I think he always will.
“Dude. You definitely could’ve displayed your fanny at the gym. It’s not that. Just…trust me?” “Always,” I tell him.
“Joey,” he whispers. “No, you don’t get to just…pass me off to the next guy without a word. It’s you and me. I thought we were on the same page about that.” “We are.”
“Then why are you asking me to walk in that door and go on a date with some man that isn’t you? I don’t want them. Any of them. The only person I want, the only person I’ve wanted for months now, is you.”
“None of them have your green eyes, Brad. None of them will feel the same wrapped around me at night. None of them are capable of being what I need because I’m already in love with you. I love you, okay? So no. You told me not to settle, and I’m not settling for anyone but the man I love. I’m not giving you up without a fight, got it?”
The curve of Brad’s slowly burgeoning smile takes me momentarily off guard. I don’t understand what he has to smile about, but then he says, “Joey. It’s me. I’m the date.” My exhale is loud. “What?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his eyes closing briefly before they’re on me again. “You love me?” Fuck. “I do,” I say, despite the way my nerves are flayed open.
“Good,” he says firmly. “Because I’m kinda in love with you, too, dude. And you not feeling the same way would’ve really spoiled this whole grand gesture thing I’m trying to pull off.”
“I don’t want you with anyone else, Joey. And I don’t want to be with anyone else, either. I’m sorry I fucked this up, but I was trying to tell you thirty days isn’t nearly enough time for me. Not when it comes to you. I’d like to share all your days if that’s something you’d like, too. I can’t promise to always get things right. I mean, case in point right here. But I can promise I’ll always do my best. Because you’re worth it. You’re my baby kangaroo-roo. And, if you’ll let me, I’ll be your boomer.”
Oh. My. God. “I fucking love you,” I tell him.
He’s the wash of the ocean over my senses, lips warm like the sun, his happiness combined with my own leaving me weightless and drowning in nothing but him.
He’s everything I didn’t know I wanted, never thought I’d get, and can’t bear to let go of.
He’s wrapped around my heart, and no matter where we go from here, no matter where life takes us, I know that will never change.
It’s not even the idea of sinking inside the man I love, which—whoa. Yes, I love this dude. And yes, I do want that very much.
But it’s more than that. It’s the need to be closer. To bring this man comfort and the pleasure he’s asking for. To make him feel good, which is something I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s wanting to show him my love. To share it with him.
I’ve never had that level of intimacy with anyone before Joey, regardless of gender. He’s the first. The first person I’ve fallen in love...
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“Screw away,” he says lightly, his lips quirked but his eyes so very soft. Fuck, I love this man.
I’m powerless to resist him. I fall forward, my face inches from his, this man who smiled at me one day in the gym and made me feel as if I were standing on the edge of a new beginning. He never once rushed me. Never tried to change me. He was there, waiting maybe. But a good friend to me always.
“I’m not,” he says. “Bub, I’m not. Look at me.” I do. Of course I do.
“I don’t regret any of it. Yes, I liked you from the start. More than I probably should have without being honest with you about it. But letting myself fall, knowing the chances of you reciprocating were slim to nil? That was my decision. And I’d do it again given the choice. You’re worth it.”
His eyes narrow. “What are you plan—” I kiss him. Hard. It’s instantaneous, the way he lights me up inside, as if all that warmth he possesses sinks right into my very skin and bones.
I try to show him the way he makes me feel. Try to give him back some of the same heat and comfort.
It’s everything I thought it would be. More. It’s Joey.
I’m not sure I could have dreamed up Joey Delgado even if I tried. Falling in love with my friend? With someone I can be silly with and be honest with, someone I can play video games with, go to the gym with, be myself with…
I found Joey his guy. The one who will love him for all he is and all he will be. And, as it turns out, I found my person, too.
“I never, ever, want to erase part of who you are. Relationships are supposed to be about compromise, right? But you have this tendency to go balls to the wall when it comes to making other people happy. The fact that you’re here now, for one.
He waves me off. “Naked snow angels, then. Whatever. My point is you can’t leave behind the best parts of your past just to make a future with me. And I wouldn’t want you to.
like spending time with your family, Joey. I like working on the house with you. I like sharing your favorite things. So don’t ever think loving you—all of you—is a hardship. Because it’s not. It’s the easiest thing.”
“Fuck, bub,” I manage, my throat tight. “You’re constantly amazing me, you know that?” He preens. “Well, I am pretty amazing.” “You are,” I agree easily. “Thank you for…I don’t know. For seeing me, I guess.”
