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Joey holds my gaze for the longest moment, never breaking stride. “Shit, bub,” he finally says, shaking his head slightly. “You’re pretty remarkable, you know that?”
“You really think so?” I ask, feeling warm and…fuck, I don’t even know. Like I could run another ten miles easily if I have Joey there to encourage me.
“Just that I’m fairly certain you’re a literal angel, and I’ve never been between a guy’s thighs before, but I’m a little jealous of that empty space between yours.”
“But no, Joey. It’s not just the shorts. I’m pretty sure it’s a you thing.”
“And who might that be?” my mom asks in my ear. “That’s my…Brad,”
“I’m safe,” I remind him. “You can try with me. Touch me. Do whatever you want with me.” His cheeks darken. “Whatever I want?”
“What I mean, bub, is that you’re looking at me like I’m your favorite dessert. If you want to take a bite, you can.”
This is new for him. Exciting. And it makes it all the more clear to me how damn lucky I am to be the one he chose in the first place.
He looks pleased by that. Happy. And the fact that Brad has gotten comfortable enough to flirt with me makes it all too easy to tease him right back.
Joey said he’s here for whatever I want to try, right? Well, right now, what I want is him.
“Are you going to kiss me?” I ask, my pulse nearly drowning out my voice. “Was thinking about it,”
It’s the same way he looks now. “Well,” I say, breath coming short. “What are you waiting for?” Joey’s lips curve into a smile, and then his mouth is on mine.
He smells like sawdust, his skin warm beneath my palms, and I lose myself for a minute. In Joey. In the way his mouth feels impossibly familiar, as if we haven’t kissed a mere handful of times before.
I lose myself in wondering how many more kisses we could have. How many mo...
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Joey’s responding laughter feels a whole lot like that future I was just envisioning.
Almost too much at once. Too many things I want to see and try. Too many ways I want to touch him or watch him touch himself. Places I want to taste. Tease. Tongue open.
“Fuck, Joey. You’re…you’re really pretty.”
My heart kicks in my chest, a near-painful thing. “You think I’m gorgeous?” “More than,” he says seriously. “I thought that the first time I saw you laughing, bub. I was pretty stoked when you gave me your number.”
“Yeah, sorry about that?” “I’m not,” he says, fingers threading through my hair. I look up again, and I’m taken aback by the sincerity in his eyes. The softness, even. “It led us here, didn’t it?” Fuck.
There’s no dismissing who Joey is as he stands in front of me. He’s a man, yes. One I’m attracted to. Maybe that should scare me a little or make me pause. But the truth is the idea of being with a man never bothered me. I just never saw myself with one. Not until Joey.
“I want to touch you,” I tell him. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I just… I want it. Can I?”
Feeling him in my grip is alarming. Not because it’s frightening or new. But because of how right it feels. This is my Joey. And touchin...
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“Bub,” he says, voice rough, uneven. My eyes flick up to his, and my breath punches from my lungs. He looks…awestruck. Utterly bewitched.
“Can I touch you?” he asks, as if he wants nothing more. “Yeah. Yes. Please.”
“Yeah, okay,” I agree, grinning. “Can I use your chest as a pillow?” A small pause. “If you’d like.”
Joey chuckles, his lips pressing a quick kiss to my hair. I let him hold me against the wall. Hold me up, really. Like any time I’m in Joey’s arms, I feel safe. Cocooned. Precious, even.
But for now? I’m content to stay right here in Joey’s massive shower, sharing the afterglow.
Or what I want normal to be. Brad, here in my bed, or me in his. Waking up together. Being together, period.
People spend their entire lives searching for this. Trying to find the right person at the right time. To know I’ve found mine…my right person…without yet knowing if it’s the right time? It’s terrifying.
I told Iggy it was worth the risk. And I still believe that. I do. But I don’t know how I’d ever...
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Perhaps I’m still a little scared. Scared that Brad will wake up and realize exactly who he’s with, and that he’ll, what…freak out, maybe? Change his mind?
“Well, yeah. I tend to be more touchy-feely than my partners. A little clingier, I guess? So this?” He slips his arms back so he can grab my ass, giving me a little squeeze. “It’s nice. Very nice.”
His voice, when he speaks, is quieter. “Thanks, Joey. It’s underrated, you know? Just…holding someone. Being held. People take for granted what such a simple form of contact can do. But I’ve always thought… Well, I think I might like it more than sex.”
How do I tell this man he’s quite possibly the loveliest person I’ve ever met? That I admire him and respect him. That I want him to keep surprising me with his kindness and grace, just as much as I want to hear the rambling words that so frequently fall out of his mouth.
You’re like a hug, Brad. Always. Whether or not we’re touching. So if this gives you even a fraction of what you’ve given to me, then yes. Anytime you want it…or need it…I’m here.”
We’re nearly the same height, Brad just a touch shorter. It makes it easy to look into his eyes, to let him see what he wants from mine.
Because what Brad and I are building—what we have been from the start—feels stronger than any other connection I’ve had. It’s a foundation I could see holding us up for years, decades to come if we let it.
He huffs a small laugh, pulling my hand onto his lap and looking at me so fondly my heart tries to jump from its cage.
He kisses my forehead, leaving his lips there, and I breathe.
Slowly, I open my eyes. The first thing I see is Joey’s face an inch in front of mine. There’s a small smile curving his lips, and oh. So pretty.
In answer, Joey threads his fingers through my hair, stroking gently. At least if we fall out of the sky, we’ll do it together.
think sometimes you just know someone is going to be important to you, even if you don’t know how.” “Yeah,” Joey says quietly, his gaze intent on me when I look his way. “I know what you mean.”
“I know we haven’t known each other for long,” I rush on. “But you’re one of my closest friends. You’re my people now. My Joey Kangaroo. So just…you better get used to me being around, man, because I’ve already claimed you. And I’m not that easy to shake.”
“I guess you kinda like me, huh?” I tease. He nods against my neck, his stubble bristling me. “Quite a lot, actually.”
How open he is. How unafraid in the face of things that truly matter. How, for a while, I thought I’d never get this. I thought it was a fantasy and nothing more. Yet now…
Now, Brad is here with me. In this with me. He took a leap, allowing me to catch him, and there aren’t enough ways to express to him what that means to me.
A second later, there’s a soft tap against the bottom of my chin. I look up to find Brad staring right at me. “Sorry,” he says. “Just…needed to see your face.”
“All the time. And I’ll never take more than you want to give me. But I’d take everything if you let me.”
Brad’s fingers tighten against mine, and he turns his head. “Take what you need. I trust you, Joey.” The noise I let out is pained.
It’s so much, and not enough—not ever enough—and I don’t know how to tell him he’s ruined me.
