Hosed (Happy Cat #1)

by Pippa Grant

I snag a handlebar before I realize what I’m grabbing. A dildo. The bike has dildo handlebars.

You are unicorn hair plaited in a beautiful braid, sprinkled with sugar and sunshine.

I’m just…shy around dildos.

Dildos just want to make you feel good, Cass. Dildos are our friends, unlike dicks attached to actual real life men.

But big hearts don’t just hurt big. They also heal big. Even bigger and better than they were before.

“What ‘everyone knows.’” His lips twist in a smirk. “The person in the mirror is part of that too, isn’t it? People in this town like to tell you who you are. Makes thinking for yourself harder than it sounds.”

“What does that mean?” I ask. “The bee’s knees.” “Fantastic. Excellent. The very best.” I pause with my hand on the screen door. She looks up to find me staring and I smile. “I think you’re the bee’s knees, Cassandra Sunderwell.”

“You’re pretty bee’s knees yourself, O’Dell. But don’t let it go to your head.” I grin. “Yes, ma’am.” But it’s too late. It’s already gone to my head, and my brain is throwing a decidedly premature “Cassie digs us” party.

This is dangerous. Letting myself get swept up in the moment with a man like Ryan—a man who doles out sexy stares like candy on Halloween and who is literally ten thousand times more experienced than I am—is a mistake.

Not to mention the fact that he thinks I’m repulsively gross and that kissing me is a breed of torture on par with waterboarding or having his fingernails ripped out with pliers or only getting four chicken wings when he ordered half a dozen.

Can I really do this? Can I open my mouth and make the crazy come out? Can I ask Ryan to be my Tonsil Hockey Tutor? Um…yes. I think I can.

“You really should know better than to insult a person’s size. We short people are notoriously crazy when we’re angry. Just look at Napoleon. Genghis Khan. Tom Cruise.”

Did he sneak in the window and steal your pajamas? That little cutie is a sucker for silk, which is only awkward when he tries to wear it.

I thought you WANTED me to experience sexual pleasure, not to get cockblocked by a trash panda!

It’s intense, awe-inspiring, scary and magnificent all at once.

She’s under my skin and it isn’t going to be easy to watch her walk away.

Maybe it’s time to trust that I’m not a natural screw-up. That I am beautiful and special and worthy, and that I deserve happiness and pleasure.

Chemistry isn’t a solo operation.”

“People see the world as they are, not as you are, you know? It’s not your fault they’re so eager to see the worst in others, even when it’s not there.”

But wasn’t Mary Poppins dating that chimney sweep guy? Savannah: No way! They were just friends, psycho. He may have had a crush, but Burt was not tapping the Poppins. She would have spanked him with her umbrella for trying.

Because I’m falling in love with her, and love takes pleasure and makes it magic. Makes it sacred.

when you discover the person you love doesn’t care enough to be at your side through better or worse, the only thing to do is to get out while you can.

Falling in love was the easy part. Fighting for love is harder than I ever imagined it could be. Because this fight isn’t about putting up my fists, it’s about letting down my walls and being vulnerable with this man who means so much to me. A man I now know without a doubt holds my heart in his hands. He could break me. So easily. Be he also makes me whole.