sWitch

by Kat Blackthorne

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you…but I like it.”

you just said that 😂

It was raining on my ride home, my skateboard’s wheels slick on the sidewalk,

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SKATING WHILE ITS WET THE BEARINGS ARE GOING TO RUST

I opened my mouth to flirt—I mean, respond—but

LMFAOOOO

My brother’s girlfriend, whom I had a huge fucking crush on, was alone with me in my apartment. I’d behave.

me and your girlfriend playing dress up at my house…..

I put it around the top of her head, and, fuck me, she lifted her arms, letting me dress her.

ME AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND PLAYING DRESS UP AT MY HOUSE

I swiped my credit card through the machine.

you forgot the pinot

“Where’s my wine?” Mary Jane asked.

poor mary jane :(

Standing, I took off my flannel jacket.

of course they’re wearing a flannel 😂

“It’s sticky… Needs some more cleaning, or you’ll be sticky the whole way home. I could…lick you clean?”

EXCUSE ME?

her fingers wove through the hair above my undercut.

of course they have an undercut

I kicked off my rain-soaked Doc Marten boots.

of course they’re wearing doc martens

I hated the pretentious, fluffy little bastards.

real

“Are you my mom’s girlfriend or boyfriend? Why do you look just like Coach Monroe? What are your pronouns?”

i’m dead i love this kid 😂😂

the day we officially met.”

i’m getting stuck on the word officially here. Does she know that the first time they talked? It was her and not Trevor? 👀

“Hate to burst your bubble,” I replied,

wait why did the formatting suddenly change no spaces between paragraphs anymore

Why did I think flirting, slushy thigh-licking, and video game scissoring with my boyfriend’s ridiculously hot sister was a good idea?

teehee

Trevor would absolutely freak if he found out I had a crush on his twin. He couldn’t find out—no one could.

but like… why not? her and trevor have only been together for a little bit and it’s clearly not working out

Like she’d want me anyway.

she licked you in a movie theater bro

beading over my six pack abs.

i always find the mention of a six pack in books so unnecessarily funny. like if you’ve already established this person is lean and muscular, we can assume abs. literally saying “six pack abs” sounds so goofy i can’t 😂

She may have been spread out on a vintage pinball machine in the middle of a mall arcade,

that im presuming has cameras? with all those expensive machines? hello!

Her orgasm fluttered against my tastebuds, and I groaned into every movement of her sweet body.

love this line

“Want to see just how good I am with my drumsticks?”

oh HELL naw. drums are dirty. so are the sticks. this is jus a UTI waiting to happen

Most masculine folks and boys were like puppies: simple, steadfast companions. Pups and boys don’t need a lot of explanation. You fed them, pet them, took them on walks and threw tennis balls, and they’d stay by your side. Predictable, slobbery, cause and effect relationships. Most femmes and girls were like kittens: unpredictable, with equal capacity for violence and terror as for love and tenderness. Winning the trust of a kitten was tenuous but rewarding. And just like with cats, girls could offer a quick swipe of claws under the alluring pretense of soft fur and whiskers.

obsessed wit this analogy

A small confirmation bloomed in my mind,

haha i knew she knew!

Mocking my Polly Pocket display?

YOOOO POLLY POCKET

road

rode*

“And my, what perfect love matches you’ve acquired. Trevor and Mary Jane, Remy and Fauna. I couldn’t have cast better pairs if I directed your lives’ plays!”

i def think this is endgame lol, the Trevor and MJ hints are already strong

My dad raised a quizzical eyebrow. “Remy? I’m not talking about Remy. Of course, I am proud of them and their accomplishments.”

the right pronouns, too? insane curveball

Remy leaned against the tree, not even out of breath, and lit a cigarette before offering me one.

of course they smoke cigarettes. American Spirit Light Blue?

caustic

OP seems to really love this word lol. it always just makes me think of Apex Legends

“We played together too.

aaaand the spaces between paragraphs are back?

He always shakes his head when I show up at Christmas with more holes in my ears and ink on my arms.

oof that hits home

That jerk ex-friend of yours had them at my show,

which like. still unclear WHY Prue went there, and like, with the kittens? in a convenient bag that showed them off? meh whatever plot convenience i guess

“That’s so fucked up—you’re such a fucking punk.” He hit Remy’s shoulder.

real shit

welded

wielded*

“See if you like your hair first before trusting me to stab holes through your body.”

LMAO

Somehow, within the hilarity and drama of fake dating one twin while falling for the other, I’d maintained a friendship with both.

awwww

He punched my arm just as a car honked its horn from the street below. “See you later.” I checked my watch—seven in the morning. His game would be in the afternoon; plenty of time to do some scheming of my own. Our car vroomed to life, and I rolled down the row of fenced trees,

the transition from apartment to them being in the car is a bit jarring being in the same paragraph

and into my mustang

of course they drive a Mustang (capital M* btw)

histrionic

new word oooh

except to remark that my car did, in fact, smell like nacho cheese. Damn, I spilt my Taco Bell order one time, and I’ll forever be cursed by its ghost haunting my otherwise spotless interior.

LMAOOO

I have it on video if you want me to send it to you?”

on her flip phone? that video quality is prolly trash

“Like he’s had a personality transplant? Yeah, sure does.”

it sure seems strange that he claimed soccer was a waste of time at the family dinner but now he’s all into it and liked it as a kid. seems like a cop out but i love a happy ending so whatever

I know what you’re thinking: a one year later epilogue? They’re making major life decisions after only one year together? Let me remind you, I’m a lesbian,

HELP the fourth wall break is perfect

ammibo

amiibo*