sWitch

by Kat Blackthorne

For every shy soul who needs a confident and devastatingly good looking tattooed lesbian to rock their world.

Oh, Mary Jane. The woman I instantly forgot about if I wasn’t with her,

Oof

Too bad I was locked into a double date with my situationship, my crush, and my brother.

Nightmare blunt rotation 👎🏻

“Get me a bag of peanuts,” Trevor whisper-yelled after me. “You are a goddamn bag of nuts,” I called back,

*chefs kiss*

What did she think? How did she feel?

I mean... She let you go down on her in the movie theater so.. Maybe she likes you?

Ah, fuck. I was down bad.

Glad you figured it out bud

Fuck cats. I hated the pretentious, fluffy little bastards.

A lesbian that hates cats??? Fake

“I don’t want your pinkie-pie-princess money. What, is it strawberry scented or some shit? Bedazzled?”

I fear i would fold

Black cat, golden retriever, or simply Remy Monroe?

Some weird, off-putting third thing

“Go take care of them. I’ll put Turnip down for a nap.”

Remy earlier: fuck cats Remy now:

Remy was gone.

Dun dun dunnnnn

Dinner with my twin and his girlfriend.

Do we think theyre twins??

Girth Certificate.

Straight to jail

“Why the hell is Mary Jane texting you?”

Bet theyre fucking

Even when MJ was right next to me, I forgot about her. That was it; I vowed to break up with her after dinner.

Should've done that 5 chapters ago

Imagine paying someone to tell you that your ass goes into a chair.

Way out of my tax bracket

Mary Jane’s perfume hitting me in the face like a wall of Bagarat Rouge and platinum credit card plastic.

Okay chill

“Oh, here we go,” I murmured to Trevor,

Glad this is a universal sibling experience

“I’m fucking her! Mary Jane doesn’t even like Remy!”

Called it

Nice to know how much you don’t have my back. Don’t you dare come back to the apartment. I never want to see you again.”

Woof

“My brother sneaking around with the girl I was dating stings, I’m not going to lie.”

Bro you didnt even like her!!!!!

“Fuck you. I deserve an apology too.” “I’ll order us pizzas.” Trevor thrummed his fingers along the top of the fridge door. “Meat lovers? Beer too?” I rolled my eyes. “That’s how much it takes to buy my twin’s forgiveness and help? A couple large pizzas and beer?” “Six pack of beer.” Trevor crossed his arms.

Men are so easy

very calmly and non-dramatically, retrieved them.”

Right "calmly & non dramatically"

Maybe I was an impulsive, self-centered idiot,

maybe 😒

Despite her affinity for black, Remy was color personified. Remy was sunshine poured into the dark room that was me,

It’s giving tumblr

“Haven’t you figured it out by now? I’d do anything for you.”

okay one redeeming quality

Still, I never saw him and Mary Jane coming.

Fauna, babe, are you blind?

WHAT IS ALWAYS COMING BUT NEVER ARRIVES? Remy snickered. “Trevor’s girlfriends.”

Boy humor. Jail

“In that case…we scissor.”

Goodbye

strung-out moment of scissor-bliss.

I- 💀

My heart warmed and my throat tightened. “You want to dye my hair?”

Another day of watching someone live my dream

I hope you can heal, Prue.

Princess Bubblegum is better than me, id punch the faded purple haired bitch

“Name?” buzzed through the speakers. “Liz Bien.” Watson paused. “We don’t have a Liz Bien on the visitor list today. What is your purpose here?” “No? Liz Bien from Scissor City isn’t on the list?

Enough

I’m irresponsible, reckless, impulsive. I’m a self-absorbed asshole half the time.

Only half?

Mary Jane laughed. She seemed relaxed, way more at ease than she ever was with me. I admitted after a pause. “I wasn’t a good, you know, whatever, to you. I’m sorry for that.”

That’s.. one way to describe it

“Let’s make our avatars scissor.”

Cyber scissor goes hard i guess

You’re all that matters to me. You’re my home. Be my player two for life?”

Corncob level corny

And to you, gamer, reader, artist, musician, maker, lover, doer, defender… Thanks for reading.

Wait im crying, this is cute