Blood of Hercules (Villains of Lore, #1)

by Jasmine Mas

This book is dedicated to all the girls who like morally gray fictional men and who screamed out loud the first time they read “Who did this to you?” This one’s for you.

Cool I already hate it

My purple eyes and white hair reflected off the mirrored walls.

What in the 2014 tumblr is this character design

I held up my hand. Everyone shut up. Immediately.

Three different lines. Was this book written for tiktok attention spans or what

2045,

Lmao 20 years until this book

Kids at school called it apocalyptic core.

Apocalyptic core.

Their existence was unfortunate, if you wanted to live (I didn’t).

Ha ha how quirky and different she is. An appeal to gen z nihilism

Judging from the long pause, she’d struggled to remember my name. Rude. I’d been living with her for almost ten years.

I can’t tell if the author is trying to have her writing sound young and childish or if she just sucks at writing

Things were looking up.

I stopped annotating as much because I’m just so flabbergasted. Alexis’s life is so bad it’s comical and the writing is generationally terrible

But they could.

What about the government…?

Mother had installed ours in the bathroom because she said she didn’t want to “see the ugly fucking thing all day.” She also said the same thing about me.

HA. Idk of that’s supposed to be funny or not

Patro, Achilles,

Not patroclus and achilles. Don’t do this

The key was tensing your core and buttocks. Humming. And nihilism. Also, role-playing as a tortured nineteenth century musical prodigy in the imaginary throes of writing a violent opera helped. A haunting melody started playing in my head. Only I could hear the music.

This is not funny. I feel like it’s trying to be but it’s horrendously unfunny

She screamed in my face—I screamed back. Oh, look, we’re harmonizing. Mozart would have loved this.

Mozart is rolling in his grave actually

Glass rained. Oh, look, it’s a crescendo.

Once again, an author that knows nothing about music is trying to use music terms

The loser part was still up for debate (it wasn’t; I authored Emmy Noether and Carl Gauss fan fiction in my free time).

Ok yeah you are a loser. And also not an eleven year old

Also, I had felt nothing in eleven years.

Her life’s so bad she didn’t even experience emotions as a baby

G-sharp at a crescendo.

What do you mean by that, Jasmine. Go ahead, explain it to me

“This is extremely expensive Spartan healing gel.

Yep, that’s how medics talk about their supplies

He’s probably never taken math above calculus. Carl Gauss would never speak to me like this.

Honey you’re 11. You haven’t taken math above calculus

Battery and assault weren’t prosecuted anymore—there was only one crime the Spartan system expended resources to combat.

What

I was going to miss her positive energy. Not.

Oh god a millennial “not” joke

“Who is she? I must know her name,” Carl Gauss would say if he saw her walking down the street in Brunswick, Germany. “That girl will be my prodigy!”

This is just so weird and it was only done to be quirky

nineteen years on earth felt sufficient.

She’s in high school at age 19? Is she stupid?

Hot take,

Hot take?? In a published novel? Good god

Yes, the bar was set abysmally low.

Like the standard for books nowadays

Okay, I’d looked once, but I’d screamed and powered down the public library computer.

Screaming at the sight of dick? Good thing I’m reading this during pride month I guess

Which made sense—the House of Ares was nicknamed the House of War for a reason.

Lazy

they had no biases about genders and usually dated (were slutty with) multiple people at once—it

Okay

Carl Gauss, aka aggressive celibacy, was the only one for me.

What is wrong with you

Nicknames: The Son of War. The Killer. The Beast of the Crimson Duo.

This is all so cringe I am in physical pain

The second Spartan came fully into view—it was Sex from WSDL.

I can’t believe this book is real

Nicknames: Patro. The Son of Sex. The Leader of the Crimson Duo. The Ideal Man. Achilles’s Handler.

LMAO WHAT?

Technically, I’d finished high school three years ago, but only nineteen-year-olds could take the Spartan merit test and graduate.

Sorry for calling you stupid but also why are you here

When they’d first emerged in 2050, governments had tried dropping nuclear bombs on them.

I…what. I don’t even want to go into how this doesn’t make sense

“Ms. Hert, you’re the smartest student this school has ever produced.

They can measure that?

“Are you mad?” he signed with his long fingers.

Ok I finally have to give the book something for the sign language rep

Crap, what is the Latin word for “quantum chromodynamics” or “quarks”?

I don’t think those things have a latin translation. Just a hunch tho

“But—if you’re a human who illegally obtained Spartan blood on the black market and are lying to me, then you’ll be dead in three minutes.”

Is that really the best way to test?

Oh my freakin’ god.

Girl you’re 19, grow up

The gold lion of the House of Zeus. The rainbow peacock of the House of Hera. The purple owl of the House of Athena. The green fish of the House of Hermes. The blue dolphin of the House of Poseidon. The brown pig of the House of Demeter. The yellow eagle of the House of Apollo. The purple-and-green goat of the House of Dionysus.

A perfect example of how braindead this writing is. Each sentence is on its own line btw

(more attractive, the teenage pervert inside me noted unhelpfully).

So is she a pervert or does she scream in fear at the sight of penis. I’m confused

Holy crud,

“Teenage pervert” yet she’s not mature enough to not say crud

It was the most godlike Spartan to ever walk the earth. It was Zeus.

This book’s interpretation of greek mythology is..a choice. Choices were made

It was strange hearing Latin spoken aloud.

Why did you not make this comment earlier. You’ve heard latin spoken before this

They are speaking a language that’s dead to humans.

Okay also. Why are beings from greek mythology speaking latin and not, you know. Greek

“Spartans are gods...remember...there is no such thing as a stupid god!”

I have a feeling that many people in this book are going to contradict this

Free the nipple and the lips (vaginal)?

Seeing this quote on twitter still wasn’t enough to prepare me for actually reading it. Genuinely why would you write this

“You’re ours now,” Patro said slowly, his voice cold.

NOOO SHE BUTCHERED HIM ALREADY

“Take the drugs,”

Say no to peer pressure

“Have you been giving her the weight-gaining nutrient pill like we instructed?”

Weight-gaining nutrient pill. Jasmine you couldn’t have come up with a better name?