Maybe for the Summer

by Aubreé Pynn

“You weren’t fed until I fed you. And apparently I was thirsty before I drunk from you. So we even.”

Julius gathered her curls in his hands and grinned. “You medicine. You know that?”

That’s how she was going to end up with the world, stars, and moon in the palm of her hands.

“Who said I wasn’t that nigga to make every nigga tap out and their bitches want a nigga. Who said Lucci ain’t have no heart? Jumpin’ off the curb. Servin’, swervin’ duckin’ polices and schemin’ niggas. Nigga who said that? Azul Heart tatted, real shit tattered. Demons warring with my angels making it hard to sleep without substance but I got substance and I’m still the nigga niggas try to snuff out. Take my crown, take yo’ shot. Nigga who said that!”

Julius reached behind him, pulling her close. Between songs, he removed the six chains from around his neck and placed them around hers. Jay Lucci was officially in the building and was going to give the people snippets of his new stuff, old stuff and what they came to see.

Daysha welcomed the creaminess of the oat milk-based pina colada ice cream. “Oh, that’s good.” “And you were talkin’ shit about oat milk. What gangsta drinks oat milk?” Julius mocked. “Only part of the cow I fuck with is the beef.”

There’s some shit happening here that transcends the physical. I don’t even know what it is or why I deserve it. But this don’t stop here. And when I walk off that stage in a couple days, you’ll be walking with me. Shit is simple to me. I came here for something. I ain’t leaving without it.”

“Fuck, Day,” he grumbled. “You gon’ let me have you forever?” “If that’s the assignment, yeah.”

“Then a win is a win. Don’t dwell in the darkness of the past when your future and his is so much brighter. Someone somewhere needs to hear your survival story. Someone needs you to be real. So tonight, you rest, recharge. Tomorrow, you kill that show and when you get home, you do what you were put here to do.”

“She knows who she is. No worries, I’ll dig into my bag of gangsta tricks and figure out some romantic soft-ass way to tell her.” “Being a romantic does not make you soft.” “I ain’t complaining. I’ll be soft for you.”

Julius wouldn’t want to be accosted any other way. He’d stay in this vice grip forever if it came with a safety net, pure heart and intentions, and healing energy. If he had to repeat every mistake he ever made to have this very moment as a reward, he would.

The sweet scent of elderflower blossoms, raspberry, lilies and pink amber lingering on her skin immediately perked him up.

“It’s my chest,” he revealed. “I don’t do good away from you. You did something to me. Gave me something I’ve never had. It’s like medicine. The closest I’ll ever come to being a regular nigga, Day. Seeing you with someone else. The idea of someone having what makes me feel like a superhuman…it hurts my chest. Don’t misunderstand me. I’ll never hurt you and make you stay with me. I can’t do that to you.”

“I know. You exposed your heart to me. I don’t want anyone else to know that.”

“What you saying to me, Day?” “I’m saying that I want to be the keeper of the garden that is you.”

“You are. Why you think I call you Butterfly? You kiss the petals of my crazy and you find it beautiful. I’m supposed...

“I think I spent my life on the streets, evading death. Trying to fix myself only to spiral. You know things about me the people closest to me don’t. I won’t wait to love you later because of time. I’m going to love you right now. Loudly and proudly.”

“You heard me. I love you. I do. You’re what my nervous system needed. What my mind needed. I love you. And I’m going to show you every day that I do. You won’t settle here, you hear me?”

“Yes I am.” Daysha settled back into his hold. “You’re not. Your soul is in need of recovery.” “You gon’ show me how to do that?” “Yeah, if you let me.” He held her closer. Daysha could feel the relief enter his body. “I’ll let you do whatever you need to do so I’m worthy of you.”

“You’re going to bloom, Lotus. And you’re going to be unstoppable. I know that.”

Daysha learned quickly that Julius did things that were good for him when her body was pressed against him. Physical touch was his love language. He needed to feel connected in some way. He needed grounding. She moved, settled on top of his lap, and placed her hands on his shoulders.

“What do you need, Ju?” “You.” “I’m right here.” “No,” he said sharply. “I need you to cover me. Please.” “Take what you need, Jules.”

Daysha lifted off of his lap and freed him from the boxers he wore. As she lowered herself down on him, they took a simultaneous inhale. Filling her to the hilt, Daysha held his face. “I love you.” “I love you, too,” he grumbled. “I’ll be your safe place, okay?”

Any closer, they would have fused into one being.

“When your social battery runs out, you’re quick to find a place to recharge. You smoke more than normal

when you’re nervous or stressed out. You hum and kinda sway to music no one else can hear. You’re kind of shy too.”

“You live in your head until you’re comfortable to share your thoughts. You have a fountain of love that no one’s tapped into. You move with intention. And,” he squeezed just enough to cause her eyes to lower with desire. “You just what a nigga needed.”

Love. Pure, intentional love. Something Julius’ troubled soul had been in search of for years. Despite the situation, he had it in his arms and he’d sacrifice his life to keep what he found at perfect peace.

Until this very second, Julius had viewed her as a flower. Sure, she was strong, but she was still delicate. Still able to bloom through adversity, but still a flower. If he could carry her pain or kiss it away, he would. Until he found out a way to do so, he’d provide her comfort. Daysha was teaching him that love was more than the feeling – the butterfly’s, desire, and admiration. Love was support, intimacy, trust, and the ability to pick up where the other lacked. For as long as she needed, he’d be everything he could for her.

Daysha has been the only person in my life outside of my brother to feel my shifts. She

touches me and my entire being relaxes. She speaks to a man people don’t see behind the jewels and tattoos. She can handle the persona, but she nurtures the man. I love her. To the point if it ever came down to choosing her over me, my soul will ensure she lives happily without me. I don’t ever plan for that day to come when I have to leave her. But if I have to, she’ll know I gave her my all and everything she gave me wasn’t in vain.”

“Daysha is my butterfly. She floats around the chaos that is sometimes my world and spreads beauty. She’s a reminder that starting over isn’t terrible, being a better man doesn’t make me soft, and that there is beauty in everything, even pain.”

“That’s why we named her Lotus. We never planned for children. We were too busy building a business and traveling. Children just didn’t fit the life we had. Then my mother passed, grief, on top of what I thought was menopause was the rebirth I didn’t know I needed. She came in so gracefully and strong and lit our world up. And now that I look back, she did everything to make us happy until she chose her happy and went off to Ganton Hills. I was so scared. But she’s showed me at every turn of her life that although there might not be a plan, she’s got some divine connection to God because He keeps keeping her.”

“You know what, Julius, I believe that. Just make me a promise of two things. Show Richie this part of you; I know men like to measure. You two serve two different facets in her life. Richie showed her how a man is to love her, you’re going to show her that unwavering love and protection. Please make sure she’s married before y’all bring a child into this world.”

“Mr. Jorden, I’m going to keep it a buck with you, I’m not giving you your daughter back. I am crazy about your daughter. I can’t make it stop either. I love that girl.”

I want whatever she wants. I want to pull out the things she denies herself of and watch how it blooms because she’s safe to expose it. I can tell you one thing for sure, it's been two months, and she’s turned my whole world around. So don’t ever tell me I don’t love her or I’m not good enough for her. I’m the best thing for her because I was put here for her. And she was made for me. Instead of getting your heart all tight because of who you think I am, who they told you I was, or whatever the internet says. Ask me, get to know me. Because she thinks the world of you and because I’m not going nowhere, I’d like to too.”

“We can’t be loud. My dad won’t let me call him daddy anymore.” “Because I’m daddy. Now tell daddy what mama needs.” “Deep and slow? Face in the pillow.”

“Dayyshaa,” he moaned. “Keep callin’ me daddy, you going to make me one.” “Give it to me. I’ll happily have your babies,” she whined, then gasped when he slammed against her spot. “JuJu.”

“Oh, is the bitch too stunned to speak now? If I were a woman to fight, I would drag your ass up and down this street but I’m a classy bitch. You’ll never know what that’s like. But I’ll do you a favor since you like watching, watch me upgrade your old nigga and turn his ass into my new nigga.. You can have the lemonade and fries, you look like you need more substance than coke. I would warn you that the next time you get the bright-ass idea to tell me about my man, don’t. Good day, Bianca Janae Cumberland. I hope to never see you again.”

“Who the hell were you talking to? Couldn’t be me. Not your nigga. Your man. I’m in here with you every day. I’m there when you fall asleep and when you wake up. Your scent is imbedded in my skin, and you think I’d give all this up for B. Janae? You out your gotdamn mind? I didn’t know both of us was crazy.”

“I’m a nigga in love with his woman. Apparently, at this point, I’ll do anything for you.”

“Do you think I’ll fuck up having you and everything you bring me?”

She was his and he would show her every second of the day if he had to. He smacked her ass as she came against him.

“Until the life leaves my body, I’m with you. And even then, you got my soul anchored to you. Locked in, Butterfly.”

“I love you,” she stated plainly. Julius smirked and licked his lips. “I love you, too.” Daysha shook her head. “No. Like I could love you forever. Like if you were taken from me, I wouldn’t be able to love another. I’m yours.”

Cause I was made for you. You need me to stay? I don’t want your grandma talking about me.”

“As long as you let me, I’m going to keep taking you up. I see the world for you. El Jefe is more than rap. You are more than rap. You are a walking billboard of overcoming adversity. You can save lives. I watched how everyone in Volts looked at you with stars in their eyes. Not because you could give them money or something for free. But because you represent all the possibilities there are if you believe in

“Yes. I want to keep you in love with me. Forever, if I get that long. But because I love you deeper than I’ve loved anyone else, your wellbeing is my priority.”

While she ate what she could, Julius rubbed her back, silently thanking God for this woman He gifted him in a pretty bow. He reflected on his life, if he died right now, he would die a happy man. Though he had no intentions of leaving her or their unborn child any time soon.

“You right,” he grumbled. “Teach me how to pray. I feel like if I’m going to be a father, I should know to pray.” “Prayer isn’t anything more than you having a conversation with God. Thanking Him, letting Him know what you need. But not like a genie in a bottle. People think God is a wishing well. What do you need?”