Everything She Never Knew

by Annette Chavez Macias

But when the worst thing in the world is going to happen to you anyway, you kind of want it to go ahead and just happen so you can figure out what to do next.

had to admit that the clutter and mess mostly being gone did make me feel like I could breathe again. The anxiety and sadness still overwhelmed me at times, though. The difference was that they overwhelmed me in a clean space—which made it easier for me to calm myself before another panic attack could hit.

“Why do you always overthink or automatically assume the worst?” “Because usually I’m right, and I like to be prepared for the most traumatic situation possible,” I said.

Sometimes imperfection is perfection

“Because you get what you give.” Recibes lo que das.

Love doesn’t always mean like

But I’m a believer about things happening for a reason, because they propel us into our next life lesson. That’s how we grow as humans.”

“Most days I’m okay,” I admitted. “Other times, it’s like my sadness is the only thing in the room. I can’t get away from it.”

Healing from grief is never about the final destination. You’re not going to wake up one day and magically be okay. It’s a 165journey just like any other, with stops and starts. The goal is just to always keep moving forward.”’

This whole time I kept thinking that the more information I had, the better or more okay I would feel. I thought it was the not knowing that was keeping me angry. After talking with her, though, it’s like the details don’t even matter, because the ending is still the same.”

How I got here wasn’t that important anymore. How I moved on from here was what I needed to focus on.