Leave Me Behind

by K.M. Moronova

My breath is slow. Does he know what he’s saying? Bradshaw’s hold tightens around me and the swelling need in his pants presses against my inner thigh.

Every fiber of my being is telling me to pull away from him. All this man does is hurt me and awak...

But it’s been so long since someone’s held me like this. I breathe in. He smells like blood and smoke. Slowly, my arms wrap around his chest and ...

For some fucked up reason it feels like ecstasy. I’d do anythi...

“I couldn’t control myself. You like the darkest parts of me and I wanted you all over my cock.”

“Have I seen the darkest parts of you?” “Not even close.”

“Every time you talk, I want to shove my cock into your mouth. Stop fucking pushing me or I won’t be so nice.”

“You want me to make you come?” he says in a deep tone that sends chills up my spine and a new urgent heat to my core.

“I want you to break me,” I mutter as callously as I can.

“Oh, baby, breaking you comes much, much later.”

Hatred and desire aren’t so different. Both are an obsessive, all-consuming emotion. It’s a thin line to walk on.

Because this feels right. Two murderous, vile killing machines hurting and fucking each other like our flesh has nothing left to give us.

Nothing left to surrender except this violent act of pleasure. I never felt anything like this with Jenkins. I’ve never felt this for anyone.

A god of a man. A devil of demons.

Her irises are a sunset brown. I could stare into them forever and bathe in the peace she brings me. The scar over the ridge of her jaw makes me yearn to know the story behind it, to share sweet nothings while we lie together and fall

I want to hold her and banish my loneliness.

That I’m not wearing it because I want to feel like a person when I’m with her? That sometimes even I need a break from being a muzzled beast?

She’ll never know him like I did. She’ll never see how his smile was so like hers. How his stubbornness wore into me the way she does.

“He was…” I try to find the right words. “He was my peace.”

“No. It does… Jenkins was my peace too. He saw me for what I was and he accepted it. Whenever he sat beside me, I felt the world

hush and the insects hum softly. I can still feel his smile, the way it made me lean closer and want to hold on to every word he said.” She pauses and stares nostalgically out across the dark water.

Irrationally, I feel jealous that she still loves a dead man. I don’t want her to feel that way for anyone… Though, I guess it’d b...

“I always thought we’d die together. Or at least me before him. I was sup...

“I’m glad it wasn’t you,” I admit, perhaps because in the dark I feel like I can. “He wouldn’t have been able to survive without his second.”

The way I didn’t survive without mine. But, somehow, I’m still here, as a shell of myself. I know if she follows me into battle, into the fire, I’d die if she took a bullet for me. Riøt or not. I can’t deny that I care about her and that thought scares the shit out of me.

She might think I broke her tonight, but it’s she who has broken me.

“Thanks for staying with him until he relaxed. He’s always calmer when you’re around,”

“You know, Abrahm used to complain about Bones hating him as well.”

“Seriously?” Eren nods. “He has thorns.” “No kidding.”

“I always wanted to be an astronomer. The universe is fascinating and holds many unknowns. I wanted to know all of the constellations and the galaxies beyond galaxies. I wanted the world.”

“I discovered I was a good shot when my father took me hunting at a young age. We were really poor and had to hunt for most of our food.

out of that deer and it was then that I realized how disturbed I truly was. How thoroughly I enjoyed killing things. It was the only thing I was good at.”

“My parents were murdered when I was fifteen. It was a home invasion in the dead of winter. The men woke me up and tied me to a chair.

They were after my dad for something he stole from them. We didn’t have much and anything he took was likely to keep us fed.

I watched them beat him until he was unrecognizable. Until he was dead. Then I watched as they raped my mom...

head when they were done and then...

“They thought I was pretty. They thought they could take me with them since I was young. They were fucking stupid.”

“The second I was untied I tore a man’s throat open with my bare hands. If you know the soft spots of the body, it’s easy, almost designed that way.

shot the second one in the face three times. The third man I hunted through our woods. I made him beg be...

wanted him to feel the cold. The cold I always felt inside. I should’ve shoved his gu...

“I think the worst part was that I liked it,” I mutter to see what his features will betray.

“Fuck… you really are like Bones. He’s a monster too.” Eren’s voice is low and more withheld, but his eyes don’t falter.

“Thank you, Eren.” His lazy grin sends flutters through my stomach. “I really needed to hear those words.”

“Don’t let them win. Show them like I know you will. I know I need you on this next mission.”

It’s secretive and daring. I could watch Eren exist for days on end without losing interest. He’s unpredictable and amusing when he’s not being a sergeant. Almost comforting to be around.

I’m always the most dangerous person in the room, but around Bradshaw I feel vulnerable.

“The only good Riøt soldier is a dead one.”

“Why do you hate me so much?” I wince at how sad it sounds coming out.

“Is that what you think? That I hate you?”

I bristle. “If you think your actions represent anything but hatred then I’m all ears.”