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“Hello?” I stammer. “Jade,” she says calmly. “Are you okay? You ran off and had me concerned.” Don’t ramble, Jade. Be cool. Rubbing my fingers around my forehead, I let out a deep breath.
“Yes…uh…no. I don’t know. I just…something really bothered me about that. Seeing you with them. And I know what you’re going to say—it’s your job, and I get that. But why do you just let them use you like that? You’re so much better than an accessory in other people’s relationships. Why…do you always focus on everyone else and not yourself?” The moment the words leave my mouth, I hear them.
“Help us.” “What?” she replies with confusion. “Help me and Clay. Clearly, you know what he wants better than I do, and I trust you. So if you want to help other couples, then help us.” “Jade, I can’t do that.” “Why not?” I press, although, deep down, I think I know. “Because Clay was my client already and—” “That’s exactly why you should,” I reply. “A moment ago, you didn’t want me to be an accessory in other people’s relationships, and now you’re asking me to be one in yours?” “Yes, and you said this is your job, and you love it, so help me.”
“Is this really about your relationship with Clay?” she snaps in return, and my brow furrows. “What is that supposed to mean?” “If you’re so concerned about your relationship with Clay, why are you spending so much time with me?” My lips close, and I fall silent, fighting the tears that are building behind my eyes. I force myself to swallow and take deep breaths through my nose. “I should go,” I mutter into the phone. “Jade…” “And you’re right. I should stop seeing you.” “Jade,” she snaps in desperation.
“I’m just a client, right? This is your job. I pay you to be here, don’t I? So why does the sight of you with someone else drive me insane?” “Clay…” she says in a pleading tone. “It’s all gone to my head, Eden. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t stand the thought of feeling something for you if you don’t feel it for me.”
“This is about your dad? Did something happen?” Tearing herself out of my arms, she lets out a huff as she crosses the living room toward my room. “Nothing happened!” she shouts. I can’t stand this. Trying to understand what someone else needs when they so explicitly try to hide it from me is exactly why I hate relationships. This cryptic, emotionally charged roller coaster is exhausting, and it has me feeling irritable.
“Okay, fine. This is about…her,” she says, the single word slipping through her lips like a bomb. Because I know exactly who her is.
“I took a quiz,” Jade says as she pulls away from my embrace. “Huh?” I ask, brushing her tear-soaked hair out of her face. “I found it online. It’s like a…kink quiz.” Uh-oh.
“Because I just wanted to see what it would say,” she replies without looking me in the eye. “And?” “And…it said I’m a switch? Although I don’t know what that even means.” It’s like having déjà vu. Eden made me take a quiz like that almost a year ago. I remember the results being as confirming as they were surprising. As if they unlocked secrets I was keeping about myself.
Because my first result was submissive. And my second…was switch. “It means you enjoy being both dominant and—” “Okay, okay, I get it,” she says, cutting me off. I stroke my hands over her arms. “You’re overthinking this. It’s okay, Jade. We are okay. We’re better than okay.”
“But…” She stares up at me with hope and innocence in her eyes. “It means I can be what you need. I just need…to learn.” My eyes close on a sigh. “No, Jade.” “Why not?” she pleads. “Because I’ve closed the door on that life. I don’t want ...
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This is a tempting road I’m not ready to walk down. Because what if she really wants me to take her to Salacious? What if she tries to be what Eden was, and it all turns to shit? “What if,” she mumbles softly, “we had someone to teach me? What if…we didn’t have to do it alone?” I know immediately that she’s talking about Eden. And from that moment, I know…there’s no going back.
Rule #18: Never trust a good girl.
“I’m not coming until you do,” he says through his heavy breathing. “Fuck me harder.” My voice shakes as I cry out. I can’t take my eyes off him. I’m enamored by him. Possibly even obsessed. And I have no idea why. It’s as if he was made for me. Perfect in every way, no matter how hard I search for a flaw. I love the way he moves. The sounds he makes. The expression on his face. All of it is so genuine, so real.
Every time I tell myself I need to stop this with Clay, I look into his eyes, feel the way he looks right through the facade I’ve built and into my soul, and I know I’m fucked.
I only exist within this space as Madame Kink, and that’s it. In Charlie’s case, it’s not for lack of trying. “Oh…just thinking about work stuff,” I answer nonchalantly. It’s not a complete lie. Jade and Clay and the mess I’ve gotten myself into with them are still technically considered work. Jade is my mentee, and Clay is an ex-client.
“Anything I can help with?” she asks. With a tight-lipped smile, I shake my head. “Not really. Thanks, though.” Then she leans toward me. “This wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that new little protégé I’ve been seeing you with, would it?”
“I don’t have a protégé,” I lie confidently. Charlotte rolls her eyes. “Come on, Eden. I’ve seen the way that girl follows you around. If she’s not your protégé, then she obviously wants to be.” “She’s just a client.” More lies.
“Seriously, though. Emerson didn’t have to tell me to talk to you. I would have anyway.” I lift my gaze to her face again and place my folded hands on the tabletop. “Well, then go ahead, I guess.”
“You should have been running this place all along.” She says it so matter-of-factly as if she’s not backhandedly insulting her husband at the same time. But I don’t let the compliment sink in. Because it doesn’t matter. “I’m going to tell Emerson you said that,” I reply sarcastically. “Go ahead. He agrees with me.” “Who says I even want to?” I ask, rerouting to a different defense. “You do,” she argues. “How so?”
“You’re here almost every night. You come to every event. You know every single member, and you raise hell every time something goes even the slightest bit wrong. There’s hardly a decision made around here without your input. You’re practically already running this place, Eden. Emerson is just offering you proper compensation and recognition for the job you’re already doing.” My...
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“Will you please just take the job?” she begs. “He’s already created the position. We met with the accountant this morning, and everything is in place.” My eyes widen as I stare at her in shock. “He did?” “Yes, but it’s only for you. He won’t hire anyone else.” “You’re manipulating me into taking this job. You realize that, right?” “So that’s a yes?” she asks with a beaming smile. “It’s a maybe.” “Good enough for me.” “I hope your Dom is proud,” I reply. Again, she bats her eyes at me. “I’m nothing if not a good girl.”
“What would happen if you didn’t do exactly what Daddy Emerson says all the time? Maybe a little punishment would do you good. If he’s not up for the task, I’d be happy to do it.”
Leaning in, he wraps his hand around my arm before catching himself and letting go. “You ruined me, Eden. You’ve made it impossible to move on, and I asked you to tell me to stay gone, and you wouldn’t. So then you gave me hope, and that was unfair.” “Clay, I’m not responsible for—” “And after all of that, I helped you,” he says. He’s staring point-blank into my eyes, and my argument slips from my lips. “So now you owe me.”
“What do you want?” I ask softly, both hesitant and excited to hear what he has in mind. His lips close, and he eases backward. As his eyes cast downward, he speaks as if hesitant to admit something. And when the words finally leave his lips, I realize why. Because his favor isn’t a favor at all—it’s insanity. With a rasp in his voice, just above a whisper, he mumbles, “My girlfriend wants to watch us.”
Eden ruined me. Jade loves me. And I’m clearly so fucked that I need this to make it work. Because I’m out of ideas.
“She wants me to demonstrate my dominance over you for educational purposes.” I hate when she talks like that. She makes it all sound so impersonal and formal, but it was never like that at all, at least not for me. “Sure, whatever,” I mumble.
Being with her like this is nothing like being with her outside of the club or even in bed when it was just the two of us. Right now, she’s Madame Kink. Her face is caked with makeup. Her hair is immaculately straight and neat. There isn’t a strand out of place.
But I like the real person. The woman with eyes so green and intense she’s even more beautiful without the full lashes and thick eyeliner. I like the woman who lets her hair fall naturally to the sides, small little flyaway wisps framing her face like a halo.
“I don’t think I do, so why don’t you spell it out for me?” I’m toying with her, I know. But the version of me that used to make things easy for her is gone. I want to hear her say exactly what I know she’s afraid to say. I want her to admit that being with me again would be too good, not bad. “I just don’t think you and I working together like that is a good idea anymore.”
She never could be honest. That was always the problem with her. She’s a liar. Or rather…the persona she puts forth is a lie. And for someone who always preached about honesty, that’s infuriating. The truth of who Eden really is has always been a well-kept secret. And she’d rather lie to everyone in her life than be real for even one second.
“One time,” she mutters coldly, her vivid green eyes on my face. “I’ll teach her whatever she wants to know, and then we have to be done.” “Thank you,” I say, adjusting my tie.
It’s never been so easy with another person before. And sometimes I worry that I’m being lazy with her. I’m used to being the one in charge, the protector, the leader, the dominant. But with her, I do what she tells me to and eat up her praise. She’s so easy to please that I can’t get enough.
And then, if I’m really good, she rewards me with little nuggets of intimacy that feel more special than an orgasm or some words of affirmation. She lets me in. Now being in her life is the only reward I’m interested in. I just want her.
“You look beautiful like this,” she says, softly running her fingers down my curled spine. I don’t respond, but then again, I’ve never been called beautiful before. It feels foreign and strange. Coming from her, I love it.
As her fingers reach the base of my spine, where I know I’m exposed in this position, I clench up. My eyes pop open, and my heart beats faster. I know I say I’m down for her to do whatever she wants to me, but some things are still too new for me.
“I’d love to fuck you like this,” she says, teasing her touch around my lower back and over the soft globes of my ass. I force a laugh. “Fuck me?” I’m breaking the “yes, Madame, no, Mad...
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“Only if that’s something you’d be interested in trying.” “Is that what you want?” I ask, and her touch stops. “Yes, I would.” “Why?” I ask with genuine ...
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“You fuck me all the time. Any act of penetration requires a certain level of trust. You trust me, don’t you?” “Yes, of course.” “Good. Not to mention, I get off on the idea of making you feel g...
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“Well, if you’re fucking me, then who’s fucking you?”
“That’s the point, pet,” she whispers in my ear. “I think about fucking you all the time. I think you’d be such a good boy for me, and I think you’d come so hard you’d beg me to do it again.”
I let out a groan as my cock hardens to the point of pain. There isn’t much room for it, but the more I shift, the more friction it gets. “Yes, please, Madame,” I say with a moan.
“You want me to fuck you, pet?” she asks in a sultry, teasing tone. I smile against my thigh. “Yes, Madame.” “Then say it.” “I want you to fuck me, Mada...
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“You’re so perfect,” she says, this time with more sincerity than the dirty talk. When she says things like this to me, I believe it. “So perfect and all mine.” “I’m yours,” I reply. This is the easy part. If people in my real life knew what I was doing here every night, they’d think I was crazy, but I stopped caring about that. Why would I care when everything here feels so fucking good?
“Yeah, can we get cheeseburgers? Clay, you want cheeseburgers?” My eyes snap up to Clay’s, and he looks momentarily taken aback. “Well…I have plans to meet up with Jade.” “Is Jade your girlfriend?” Jack asks. I can’t tear my gaze away as Clay nods. “Yeah, she is.” “Does she like cheeseburgers?” “Umm…” Clay looks at me, and I realize he’s waiting for my approval. I could easily shake my head and stop this whole thing. But the thought of seeing Jade in an environment outside the club is appealing to me, and given the opportunity to mend what I broke between us, I can’t turn it down. So I give
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Then the three of us walk together toward the parking lot, and I know this is probably a very bad idea. One more person to get my son attached to is dangerous, but I’m too anxious to see her to care.
“Nice to meet you,” she replies before shaking it. In a daring move, I shoot her a quick wink, which makes her smirk to herself. That’s a good sign she’s no longer angry at me. Until I get a chance to talk to her alone, I won’t know for sure, but it’s enough for now.
“And this is Jack,” Clay adds proudly. I don’t miss the way he holds a hand on my son’s shoulder as if he’s his. The thought sends a warm wave of affection through my chest, and it’s so foreign I wish I could bottle it and hold on to it forever.
Jade immediately kneels so she’s on his level. “Hey, Jack,” she says. “I like your baseball uniform.” “Thanks, I got a hit today.” “Shut up,” she replies, feigning shock. “Did anyone get that on camera?” She looks up at me and Clay, but we both shake our heads. Then she turns back toward m...
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The four of us find a table inside Jack’s favorite burger place. Then Clay goes up to the counter by himself to order our lunch, and Jack quickly trails along as if he can’t stand to be away from Clay for one second.
