Madame (Salacious Players' Club, #6)

by Sara Cate

“You’re staying, right? We can watch a movie, and I can show you my room.” Very carefully, I glance up at Eden. Our eyes meet in a loaded gaze. I can see her fighting the same battle I am—wanting something we know we shouldn’t want.

Finally, she nods. “Stay.” And I know instantly why she phrased it that way. Not “you can stay” or “you should stay.” But she said it as an order. Because she knows there’s not an order from her I won’t obey.

“I don’t want to talk,” I snap. “I want to fuck.” “What happened on your trip? Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks. Her brows are folded inward, and her mouth is set in a frown. She’s concerned for me. I should love that. The attention and consideration I receive from Eden should right all the wrongs I’m currently feeling, but they don’t. They just feel wrong. I don’t get attention. No one cares about me. I’m not worth any of it.

“Nothing fucking happened on my trip, okay? Nothing. We spent four days on my parents’ fucking yacht, and nothing happened. I’m sorry I’m in a bad mood, but I missed you, and you’re not acting happy to see me.” Her expression falls, and she steps backward. “Don’t do that,” she mutters. “Do what?” “Don’t blame me for your fucking issues when I asked you to open up and tell me what’s wrong. If you want to be like that, then you can leave.”

“Tell me to, and I will,” I say. “I don’t want to tell you to, Clay. Not this time. You have to want it.” “What right do I have to complain about anything? A rich boy like me. I’ve never wanted for anything in my entire life, so what the fuck am I so sad for?” “That’s not true,” she replies softly. “I know you must want something.”

“Four days, Eden. For four days, she wouldn’t even look at me. My father barely spoke to me. I’m their son. And they spent the entire weekend keeping me around their rich friends without treating me like a real person.”

“He needs his medicine,” I say, rushing over to check on Jack. “I already gave it to him,” Clay replies, stopping me in my tracks. “How much did you give him?” I ask, sounding panicked. “Exactly how much the dosage chart on the box told me to,” he replies calmly. “Relax, Eden. He’s fine.” When he says that, it’s not condescending. It’s encouraging.

“I’m sorry,” I say with a sigh, walking into the kitchen. I stand next to him as he loads the coffee maker. There is something so soothing about watching him try to find his way around my kitchen. “No one has ever given Jack medicine but me and his babysitter. It’s hard to get used to.” He lets out a soft chuckle. Then he pauses what he’s doing and glances up at me. “My mother never gave me medicine. Not once.”

My brow furrows. “Really?” He shakes his head. “I had nannies growing up. Mean ones.” Even though he smiles, I don’t. Clay has shared enough with me about his childhood that I know he hid...

Maybe that’s why I do what I do. I can give people the healing and release they want without...

“You’re a really good mom, Eden.” His voice is soft and warm, and that compliment hits me harder than I expect it to. “I don’t feel like one,” I reply. He scoffs, closing the lid on the coffee maker. “Seriously? Out of all the time...

My throat starts to feel tight. “You have no idea how hard it is, Clay.” “I know I don’t. Because you never gave me a chance…” “Yes, I did,” I reply softly. “Did you, though? By then, it was too late, wasn’t it?” “It’s ...

“Maybe. But I wish things had happened differently. I wish I knew you then the way I know you now.” “You know it was never because I didn’t care about you,” I reply, but that only makes him spin toward me. “No, I don’t. I don’t know that. I had no idea it w...

“You were everything to me,” I reply in a hushed shout. “Then why?” he asks, those emerald-green eyes boring into mine.

“Fuck, Eden.” He runs his hands through his hair. It’s not gelled back like it normally is, so it falls to each side, framing his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I look down, unable to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if you picked up on this yet, Clay,” I say with sarcasm. “But I don’t really share personal details about my life with people.”

“But I thought I was different.” I glance up at him. The sincerity on his face steals the air from my lungs. “You were different,” I whisper. “You are different.” “Don’t tell me that now,” he replies, looking pained. “Now that I can’t have you.” “You do have me.” My voice is so low now it’s almost silent.

“You have me, Clay. You’ll always have me.” He inches closer. “But I also have her,”

“She wants to have you too, you know. I saw it in her eyes last night. She wants you the same way I do.” My breath hitches as I let those words sink in. “You felt it too, didn’t you?” he mutters against my cheek. “How good we could be together.”

“Did you tell her you were coming over? Or are you keeping me a secret?” I ask, pulling back far enough that I can’t feel his breath against my face anymore. He peers into my eyes. “I told her.” “And what did she say?” I ask. “She said she was jealous,” he replies with a smirk. “Of me?” I ask, feeling the guilt sink in.

“Of me.” My mouth goes dry as his words sink in. “I don’t believe you,” I argue, peering up at him. “You’re just saying that.”

He shakes his head slowly. “No, Eden. She asked me to talk to you about the three of us being together again.” “I said it would be a one-time thing,” I mumble weakly. Even I don’t buy my own argument.

“You should tell me to leave.” He’s struggling to keep his lips off me, and honestly, so am I. “I don’t want to,” I reply breathlessly. “Then tell me to kiss you.” “I shouldn’t.” “Then tell me you’ll see us again. Both of us.” He drags his hovering lips up my neck and along my jawline. Our mouths are separated only by a soft breath as I reply, “Okay. Yes. I’ll see you both again.”

As he leans in, I panic. “Don’t,” I bark, just as our lips are about to touch. Like a good boy, he stops. For a while, he holds the position, just staring at me as if he’s waiting for me to change my mind. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. “Fuck it,” he mutters. Then his mouth crashes against mine as he devours my lips in a blazing kiss. I could push him away. I could tell him to stop. I don’t.

“God, I missed you,” he murmurs, and part of me starts to panic because it feels like I’m losing control. We are not getting back together. I did not agree to this. But I can’t stop it, and I don’t want to. Because the truth is, I missed him too. I missed the comfort of his touch and how, without reason, the intimacy between us reached further than something sexual. It was almost spiritual. “I missed you, too,” I whimper.

“Will you please tell me to leave now so I don’t do something that will be much harder to explain?” he begs playfully. I smile as I push on his chest. “Get out of here.”

“Tomorrow night?” he asks. “Maybe. It depends on how Jack is feeling. I’ll text you.” His lips are pressed together tightly as he backs up toward the door. “Oh, and Eden?” I raise my chin in expectation. “I don’t want to do it at the club again. I want you to come to my place.” My smile fades, and I freeze in place. He takes a step back toward me. “Don’t start panicking. It’ll be fine. It’ll just be…us.” Finally, I nod. “Okay.”

“No,” I mutter. “I have no social life. I’m either with you or Nettie or at your office, making lunch runs with Clay.” See? There’s my in. I just bring up his name casually to carefully plant a few seeds—just to make sure they don’t explode. I glance up at him to see his reaction. He doesn’t really respond. He just…huffs. Which is weird. “What was that for?” “Nothing. It’s just… It’s guys like Clay I worry about.” Something queasy and uncomfortable blossoms low in my belly. His words are like acid.

“What’s wrong with Clay?” I mumble, afraid of what answer I might receive. “Nothing. I love Clay. He’s a great guy. You know I’m training him to make him partner eventually, but he’s a charmer, Cupcake. It’s honestly what makes him good at his job too. He can sell anything with a smile, but everything he does has a motive.” No. This is not Clay at all.

“All I’m trying to say is, guys like Clay will dazzle you into some situation that you’ll end up regretting further down the road.” Again, I don’t speak, and at this point, it’s noticeable. But I couldn’t possibly voice a word past this lump building in my throat.

My dad is just trying to protect me. I love him for that, but I also know that the thing he’s trying to protect me from is already happening. I’m already falling in love, charmed and dazzled beyond hope. And there’s nothing any of us can do about it.

Taking a deep breath, I squeeze my eyes shut as I just come out with it. “I want more than a demonstration. I don’t want to just watch this time. I want to really be with her, both of us. I mean…if that’s what she wants. Do you think…that’s what she wants?” On the other end of the line, he lets out a breathy laugh. “Well, when I told her today how much you wanted her, she seemed pretty interested.”

“Tomorrow night, Jade,” Clay adds. “Are you sure this is what you want?” I take a deep breath and answer as honestly as I can. “Yes. This is what I want.”

“I told you you’d like it,” I mutter in his ear. “Fuck, don’t stop.” He groans. “Harder.” With my hand on the back of his neck, I shove him onto all fours and grab his hips, driving the strap-on farther inside him. “You want to come, don’t you?” I ask in a teasing tone.

“Yes, Madame.” “Then ask nicely,” I say on a thrust. “Please…can I come?” he begs breathlessly. “Good boy,” I reply, petting his back. “You can come now.” “I’m coming,” he cries with a strangled moan.

He quickly reaches down and strokes his own cock as he comes, making a mess on the bed as I pound into him relentlessly. A sense of pride washes over me at the sight. I did that. “Holy fuck...

“Why did I go so long without trying that?” he asks, and I laugh as he pulls me into his arms. “I don’t know, but I’m so glad you finally let me,” I reply. “Because I love watching you come like that.”

“Hmm…I don’t know. There’s gotta be more, right?” I press a finger to the divot in his chin. “Oh, there’s so much more.” Digging his hand into my hair, he drags my lips to his. “Teach me everything, Madame.” “Anything for you, pet,” I reply with a smile. “Right now, I’d like to try to see how long I can hold my breath.”

I’m a Dominatrix. I fulfill the role of Domme for money. I don’t form intimate, personal relationships. I’m a fucking businesswoman. I don’t stand outside shaking nervously because I know that if I go in there, everything will change. I don’t do that. I’m the walking, talking embodiment of confidence. I am the woman in the mirror that stared back at me seven and a half years ago. Not the one trembling and on the run. But here I am. Fucking trembling.

All I have to do is text Clay and Jade and tell them that this is crossing a professional boundary, and I think it’s best we go our separate ways. Then I can just drive to Salacious, find a willing partner, and go back to the way things were before. Everyone loves me there. I don’t need to seek out attention or validation from these two people. I don’t need anything from them.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” I whisper, holding his gaze. “Really??” Jade says in astonishment. I shake my head. “No, I mean…I’ve never come to someone’s apartment like this. I’ve never been with a couple and felt like this.” “Like what?” she asks. “I don’t know,” I reply.

“Why am I here?” I ask, feeling bold as I set down my glass. They look at each other frantically before looking at me. Before they can speak, I clarify my question. “I know you don’t want to get into the protocol and all that yet, but I need to know. What are we doing?” “Is for fun the wrong answer?” Jade replies before chewing her lip.

“No,” I reply before taking another big drink of my wine. “Fun is good.”

“We just want you to be you.” Clay’s words strike me as familiar. While he pours, I remember the last night he was in my room at the club, and those words were uttered—I just want you.

But why? Why me? If I’m not Madame Kink, then what’s the allure? Then I’m just a woman. A lonely single mother watching her own life flash by her, too afraid of finding love because of what it’s already done to her.

“Tonight, I—we thought we could skip the formalities,” Clay says, glancing back and forth between me and Jade. “But if you’re more comfortable setting boundaries…” “No,” I interject. No more boundaries. No more scenes. No more protocols. No more Mad...

“And…now you want to experiment?” I force myself to swallow, hoping that I’m not about to feel like just some random person she wants to try on. Emphatically, she shakes her head. “No. I want you, Eden. I’m not experimenting. I know.” God, she is so bold.

She wants me. Me. Not Madame Kink. “Can I kiss you?” I ask, letting my gaze fall to her lips, pouty and pink and waiting for me. She doesn’t respond. She launches. There is nothing experimental about it.

“You feel so good in my arms,” she says before a grin stretches across her face. Something flutters warmly inside me. “So do you,” I reply, digging my fingers into her hair and pulling her down for one more quick kiss.

As we pull away, we turn at the same time to see Clay reclined in his armchair. He looks relaxed as he casually watches us. One leg is propped on the other, and his head is resting on his propped arm. “You two are so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs. “Care to join us?” Jade says cheekily. As he stands, exposing an obvious erection straining against his pants, he smiles. “Baby, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You’re wearing too much,” I say as my hands slide up her thighs. “So are you,” she replies, quickly shucking off her dress. “Help her out, babe.” “Gladly.” Clay growls as he steps behind me. As I tug down Jade’s panties, Clay’s lips hungrily suck on my neck, and I can feel the moisture pooling between my legs.