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“How can we possibly start a relationship like this if we’re still lying to each other?”
“Jade, we never told Clay that we saw each other for weeks before he started joining us.”
“And we never told Jade just how serious our relationship was. That you were more than my client. We were in love.”
“I knew,” I cry out, tears leaking into my lashes. “I’m not stupid. I knew you two had a relationship. So we can get over this. We don’t need to end it.”
I have to make the right choice for my son, and I can’t rush into things just because they’re fun or they feel good.”
“It’s over,” Clay barks from behind me. The anger in his tone is obvious.
“Let it go, Jade. When she says it’s over, it’s over.”
Eden’s gaze lifts. As she stares at him, I see the months of pain and regret ...
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“You’re in charge, right?” he says wi...
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“At the first sign of trouble, you bail. You claim you do this to protect yourself and the people you love but look at u...
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“How long are you going to keep pushing people away? And what go...
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“You’ve kept him so sheltered his entire life he latched on to the first person who gave him an ounce of attention.”
“Stop fighting,” I say as I climb off the floor and put out a hand to keep Clay from saying something he’ll regret.
“Did you really love me at all, or was I just a woman who offered to give you the attention you were missing from your mother?”
“Let her, Jade. It’s over anyway. She’ll make sure of that,”
“It’s not over,” I say with a sob.
But when her eyes meet mine, they say everything I don’t want to hear.
She takes a step toward me, but I quickly step back, keeping distance between us. I’ve never wanted distance from her.
“It’s over, Jade. We can’t even communicate. How on earth could we ever mak...
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they’re both still so bitter and broken they don’t move.
“I’m sorry,” Eden whispers, but I shake my head, letting my tears fall. “No, you’re not.”
feel something in me snap. Without a word, I grab my purse from the chair by the door. I’ve never been so angry in all of my life.
“You’re both cowards, and now I’m convinced you deserve each other. Neither one of you can even bear to take a risk. So what if it eventually ends? So what if we don’t make it forever? You can’t even give us a chance now? Well, if you won’t bother trying, then neither will I.”
turning my back on them, on our future, and maybe on love altogether. I make it all the way home before I reach my bed and sob into my pillow until I fall asleep.
It’s never too late to apologize.
I can’t undo that fight with Eden. I can’t undo our entire meaningless eight-month relationship. I can’t undo the damage she’s done to my heart.
Clay, I’m sorry that it has to be this way. I wish I could take away the last eight months so you never had to feel this pain, but I promise you, it’s for the best. I’m too broken to be anything more than your Domme. My life is a mess, and I’m afraid love will never be in the cards for me now. It was never about you not being good enough. You were always so good for me.
So now, I’m giving you one last command. Forget about me.
Find someone who can give you everything you deserve.
Then love them even more than you loved me.
Do that for me. Please.
Yes, Madame.
It’s been three days since Eden was at my apartment, and my first time leaving it since.
“I feel like I’m dying, Mother. Maybe of loneliness or anger or fear, but I’m tired of being so alone. I was a burden to you. I still am. The most I can do in your presence is sit still, be quiet, and exist without a sound. But now I’m in pain and I can’t even get my own mother to look at me to let me express it.”
“You were never a burden to me.”
“You think a person has to be alone to feel lonely? You know nothing.”
“I do care about you. You’re my mother. You’re all I have. Regardless of how angry I am at you or how much you’ve hurt me, I still love you.”
Love is nothing but a form of control. Manipulation. Torture.
I’ve ruined every ounce of happiness I might have felt in my life, and it’s my fault.
I can see that now. No matter how much I tried to make things right, I acted out of haste. I panicked. And it was stupid.
“Everything. Balancing all of it. Trying to be in three places at once and somehow giving one hundred percent of myself each time. I don’t want to be Madame Kink anymore because…”
“Because that’s not who I really am. Seven years ago, I looked in a mirror and I tricked myself into believing I was someone I’m not. And I’m just so tired.”
“I have a son.”
“He’s seven. His name is Jack. I’ve been keeping that from you for years.”
“Why the fuck would I be mad about that? That’s your life and your business. You’re entitled to your privacy, Eden.”
“Is this because I said I was hiring more help because the others are starting families? Because that was all just an excuse to get you to take the job. You know that, right?”
“Could I work from home?” I ask. “Of course.” “And holidays with my son?” “Naturally.”
“We’ll handle it. I’m not just looking for someone to fill the hours of work. I’m looking for you to make this club better. Your talent. Your experience. Whatever your family needs for support, you’ve got it.”
“No. I’m too embarrassed to admit how bad I’ve fucked it up.”
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you’re never too tough to grovel.”
