The Unlikely Spare (Unlikely Dilemmas, #3)

by Jax Calder

“How the fuck are you a cop?” “Scotland Yard has a thug quota to fill, and I was the only applicant who could spell detective correctly,” I reply. “Though, between you and me, I had to sound it out.”

I look like something the cat dragged in, then thought better of it and dragged back out again.

Amelia, is currently in Surrey enjoying the hospitality of Her Majesty’s Prison Bronzefield after she was part of a conspiracy to murder Callum, so I don’t think she’ll be crafting baby booties anytime soon. Unless prison craft hour has become remarkably posh.

“Oh, we might see a reef shark or two,” he says cheerfully. “Nothing to worry about. They’re like underwater puppies.” “Underwater puppies with rather more rows of teeth than strictly necessary,” I mutter. “I must have missed that particular breed at Crufts.”

“Bloody hell,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair. “Is there anyone in this world we didn’t fuck over?” Oliver’s lips twitch in what might almost be a smile. “That’s not quite the diplomatic language we’re using in the policy papers.” “Forgive me for not adhering to the approved palace vocabulary list. I appear to have misplaced my How to Discuss Colonial Atrocities Without Making the Crown Look Bad handbook.”

I’m not generally afraid of spiders. But I’ve been in Australia long enough to know that roughly everything in this country is venomous, fanged, or otherwise designed by evolution to cause maximum distress to humans.

“You yelled because of a spider?” “Not just any spider,” I say. “An Australian spider. Which means it’s likely to be carrying enough venom to kill a small village.”

His map is definitely evidence for the idea that Australia is just an elaborate prank by Mother Nature, titled: Let’s Put All the Deadly Things on One Island and See if Humans are Stupid Enough to Live There. Spoiler alert: they are.