Sober Dope & Sundays (Weekday Weirdos)

by Nordika Night

I pull a sticker from my pocket and show the holographic side to Dad. “This one work?” “Fried meats are our friends?” He squints at it. “Fuck it. Sure.” He’s smiling now, and I like that Gage’s ridiculous sticker is playing a part in our morning.

CUUUTE

It’s right next to a sticker from two years ago that says ‘vegan for the animals’ and I enjoy the hypocrisy of that.

“Twenty-six and falling for your soulmate.” He laughs, unable to help himself from mocking me. Although, I’m pretty sure I’m being lovingly mocked because he believes in my belief that Gage is my soulmate.

“And I love you for giving me another chance.” I’ll give him as many chances as he needs. He’s my dad, and I’ll love him no matter what.

I love their relationship

Gage: I have no idea what you’re rambling about, but please keep going.

<333

Oh god. Which blue?! What blacks?!

“Like I’ll probably scoff at your food choices and get snippy about your lack of regard for your health.” He nods, like he expected it. “I know.”

“And I’m kind of needy. I like compliments and a lot of reassurance, but don’t lay it on too thick or I’ll assume it’s all fake.” “I know.” He hugs me tighter.

“And you still won’t have any control over my lifestyle, but I’ll try to control yours. It’s hypocritical, but I’m a hypocritical kind ...

“I know I monopolize so much attention with my recovery, and I want you to know you’re just as important.

a bottle of… wine? “It’s kombucha,” he says right away. “Healthy. No alcohol. Junkie safe. Alexei approved.”

“You have no fucking idea how badly I want to kiss you right now,” he says, voice abrasive and barely restrained. “But I don’t want you to doubt me. So when I do, when I finally kiss you, it won’t be because of sex or temptation. It’ll be because you know I can handle your intimacy. That you trust me to handle it.”

“You know, I have a bed upstairs.” “Shit, really?” he teases. “Do you wanna sleep in it with me?”

<3

After a whole two and a half minutes, he said nope, made me turn over, and snuggled up to me from behind. Guess I’m the little spoon.

I am obsessed with Alexei being the big spoon

He hands me an empty coffee mug. “What’s this?” “It’s a rule that everyone gets their own mug here. Alex is specific about mugs.” It’s a black mug with an alien face on it, the words ‘welcome intruder’ written beneath in spacy letters.

GAGE HAS HIS OWN MUG AT THEIR HOUSE #screamingcryingthrowingup

I’m crumbling a little. Suffocating under the weight of everything that feels good and dying under the pressure to keep it good.

“You’re doing that now.” “Doing what?” “Crumbling under the weight of wanting things without thinking you deserve them. You do, you know. Deserve them. You know that, right?”

He’s never known you high.

Ugh that's so beautiful but I'm scared it'll change

Maybe it’s time I actually start seeing myself as a person instead of just an addict. Mom’s friends and the neighbour ladies know good stories about me. Alexei thinks I’m a person. My brothers see me as a brother. My mom sees me as a son. I’m a person.

“How much did you hear?” “I pretty much eavesdropped on all of it,” he says. “Sorry, but also, this is who I am.”

I knew I was into guys, but I’d never actually slept with one. I knew my way around a vagina at that point, you know?” “No, Gage. I don’t know. I’m not very familiar with vaginas.”

“Where the fuck did you come from, Alexei?” he asks, but I’m pretty sure it’s rhetorical. In my head, I’m telling him I’m his soulmate.

“You’re something else, you know that?” “Something else like what?” “Just magic or something. This is magic. Us.”

He said that power is like a substance, and Paul abused that.

He’s asking me about rehab. Why? Does he maybe want to try it? I’d fucking pay for him. I’d pay for him to go eight times if that’s what it takes.

Gage you are so fucking cute

I ask, “Do you believe in soulmates?” He spins to face me. “Did Alex tell you?” “Tell me what?”

Lmfao I am in tears

Alexei can make any colour beautiful.

God, he really does think we’re soulmates, and that just makes me fall for him even more.

When I tell him we’re soulmates, it’ll be when I kiss him. When he knows with absolute certainty that I’m committed, trust myself, and am acting on nothing but my feelings for him.

I’m Gage Loser Rossum. Addicted to… everything.

“Just because we fight, need space, treat each other poorly, or disagree on something doesn’t mean we’re breaking up, Gage. We’re going to fight. It happens in all relationships. Good ones and bad ones, and since I happen to think we’re one of the good ones, a bit of fighting is tolerable. Unless we turn into one of those bad relationships, we’re okay to fight and not break up. You understand that, right?”

I’ve always been impulsive, and this is one impulsive commitment I’ve been slowly committing to since the breakfast he hated me through.

“High me had high dope. Drunk me had drunk dope. Now I need to find my sober dope.” He smiles so wide and then it falls into something shy. He buries his face in my neck, hugging me to him. “You’re my sober dope, Alexei. My feel-good drug. And instead of you being a substance or a thing I can overindulge in or abuse, you’re the best kind of dope because you tell me when to stop.”

I convulse embarrassingly hard. “God.” “No, you’re the god. I’m just your measly little subject. Your slave.”

“Want me to find another sponsor? Does it weird you out that I’m sleeping with your⁠—” “Ah!” he cuts in. “No, it doesn’t. Yes, it does to talk about it.

“I should have played hard to get a little longer.” “You played hard to get?”

He’s my perfect person, and if I had to pick him out of a lineup, blindfolded and deaf, I’d always gravitate to him because our souls really are connected.

Alexei might be bold yet bashful outside the bedroom, but in here, he’s in charge, and he knows it.

I finally have Alexei inside me, and I’ve wanted this since the day he bluntly asked me what I’m addicted to.

“We made a deal to trust our instincts and see how well we could read each other, right?” He pulls back to look at me, and I nod when he smiles. “Well, we’re doing that. It’s not the right time for sex.”

I love them so much

I picked an asshole in Paul, but I picked a fucking winner in Alexei.

“Gage, uh, left something for you, too. In my goddamn bedroom because he has no concept of boundaries.

I love Gage and Nathan's relationship

“Icy blue. Neurotic. Rambler. Blue with black. Secret codes. Instincts, with a winky face. Morse Code. No flirting tax. Attic bedrooms. Blunt blushing.” Dad looks up at me after reading a few. “What do they mean?” They’re all the reasons Gage loves me.

Sundays are a good goal. Every time I make it to a Sunday, our day, I get to celebrate the day we allotted just for each other.

Owen has a date,

Nathan isn’t coming tonight because he’s on a date

So both Owen and Nathan are on dates? Interesting...

I peek at the screen, seeing him pull up an app that tracks the lunar calendar. “It’s a full moon.”

They are disgustingly adorable

“You defiled my antique coffee table?! Gage!” “I did,” he admits. “Read it.” A+G= <3

Alexei Kopacek, neurotic rambler and social cue ignorer. And I love him, Gage Rossum, addictive personality and artistic-minded genius.

“Think I fell for ya when you asked me what I was addicted to.” I grin against his mouth. “What are you addicted to, Gage?” “Mm, my sober dope.”