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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Ella Marie
Read between
September 15 - September 17, 2025
From the moment he plucked me from my old team in Chicago, he’s never stopped pushing me to be better. And while I know it’s all well-intended, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve always fallen short in everyone’s eyes. Someday, he’ll see it too, but for now, his unwavering commitment to me is like an itch I can’t quite scratch—uncomfortable, yet oddly endearing because not many people have tried to commit to me like this.
“I’m on the side of getting you back to church. I don’t think a mere mortal should come between your relationship with Jesus.” Easy for her to say. She’s never had romantic feelings for anyone.
I detest anything with violence. After dealing with kids who have suffered so much, anything even remotely violent makes my skin crawl.
The wall boasts black frames cradling our beloved Bible verses, each set against a pristine white backdrop. My gaze gravitates to mine. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 As I absorb the familiar words, a gentle sense of comfort engulfs me, like a reassuring touch from the Holy Spirit. Lately, I’ve been zipping through this room without stopping to think about these verses. I’ve allowed myself to sink into hurt, swimming in self-doubt and despair and remaining there. My prayers have felt
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Thank You for reminding me that everything in my life has a purpose known only to You. Thank You for showing me that even in my brokenness, You are working for my good and for Your glory.”
“I think I can handle it. It’ll just help me see them in a different light. I really want to support and bless them,” I reply with a genuine smile, realizing that it’s already working. My heart isn’t bitter about the thought of them together anymore.
Why is Coach being so weird about this? I’m going to therapy, not on a date.
hmm 🤔
I almost wish I were going on a date instead of being poked about my issues. I’m never in the mood to explain why I’m just not a happy person.
My heart sinks when the bell rings, and I quickly turn my gaze to the door, expecting a flood of people. Thankfully, it’s just one other customer, a woman—though, she’s not just any woman. She’s stunning, like something out of a dream. I find myself catching my breath, completely unable to tear my eyes away. I want to etch every detail of her beauty into my memory. Her eyes are a mesmerizing shade of forest green, her golden-blonde hair cascades in loose curls, and her petite nose fits perfectly on her round face. And those pink lips...I don’t know her but I’m convinced they’re naturally full.
She’s the kind of person you’d want to draw and hang on your wall, and I do draw, though that’s beside the point.
What’s going on with me? It’s weird to feel so strongly about someone I don’t even know.
When I step through the doorway, my heart actually stops. There she is—the mysterious woman from the coffee shop—sitting in a cozy chair in a room that’s more colorful than her outfit.
I’m frozen in disbelief. What are the odds that the most out-of-this-world beautiful woman I’ve ever seen happens to be the therapist who Coach sent me to?
can’t help but want to know more about her. Why is she so beautiful? Is she half-angel, half-human?
lol!
Someone, please, get me some water and open the windows or something. My throat is parched, and the air conditioner seems to be on the fritz, which explains how unbelievably warm this room is. The moment Zane stepped into my office, I knew this session would be anything but ordinary. With his rugged good looks and piercing blue eyes, he resembles more of a movie star than a hockey player.
I can’t believe the only heads up Robyn gave me was that he was easy on the eye. In fact, he isn’t. Not one bit. He’s the kind of guy who can derail your train of thought by just being in the same room.
“I only dish it out on the ice when someone deserves it,” he says, his tone tinged with bitterness. “It can easily get ugly there. When losers’ only hope for winning is by sending the best players to the penalty box. Someone has to stand up for the team and it’s usually me.”
“Is there nothing I can do to convince you to keep me with you?” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I can’t believe my eyes. “We’re still talking about therapy, right?” I reply, keeping my tone nonchalant. “Yeah, of course. Unless you want to talk about something else.” He smirks, testing the waters, but he’ll need to try harder if he wants to break through my professionalism.
It’s amusing and downright adorable to recall the myriad of expressions she displayed, each one an attempt to maintain composure.
Now that she’s not my therapist, there’s a chance to get to know her on a more personal level. And let me tell you, she’s the most intriguing person I’ve ever met.
The thought of getting to know her beyond the confines of a therapist’s office ignites a fire within me, propelling me to pursue her with all the fervor of a playoff game.
“Robs, you said he was easy on the eye, and maybe on the ice he is. But in person, he looks like a menace to women trying to find their godly men. And worst of all, he knows it.”
“I just wanted to ask about my referral. Maybe we can talk about it later over dinner?” he suggests too casually. The audacity of this guy! He’s clearly not used to being told no, but I refuse to be another notch on his belt.
Randy mentioned she’s a regular during lunchtime, so I broke my rule and waited for her, risking being noticed for over an hour, just for her to dismiss me. It’s frustrating to put in that effort only to be met with indifference. All I wanted was a chance to get to know her. She’s been intriguing from the moment I laid eyes on her. How is showing interest not a compliment to a woman?
For the first time in my life, my interest in a woman has been genuinely piqued, and I don’t know how to pull back.
I’d never let my crazy thoughts cost us a game. It’s frustrating, though, to realize that a woman has this much power over me.
As a child, he made it clear that my opinions didn’t matter because I was incapable of grasping adult concepts. From the moment I was born, I was an unending wellspring of pain and misery in his eyes.
At twenty-eight, the thought of life after hockey had never crossed my mind. Maybe because I loathed my life before hockey—this life is the only good life I know.
Your past doesn’t have to define your future, especially when you accept Christ as your Lord and Savior. It’s like becoming a whole new person, and the change is reflected everywhere, even within the dynamics of your family.”
I find myself pondering what it would be like to have the same faith Tyler’s family has and live for something bigger than myself. Something that illuminates even the darkest corners of my life with an inextinguishable hope.
Why do I always feel possessive over men who aren’t even mine? First Duke, and now Zane. Something is seriously wrong with me because I don’t even like Zane at all. He gives me the itch too.
“You know how it is, your fans are always raving about you guys, so I figured you just picked the prettiest one and called it a day,” Randy says, his tone wistful. “Which would explain why marriage looks different now compared to our time.” “How is marriage different now?” “People want a good marriage without any of the work.”
“It’s not that it’s hard. Marriage isn’t complicated, but in order to be happily married, two people have to put in the effort to understand each other, communicate openly, and grow together.” Randy’s words sink in. I wonder if I’ll ever find that special someone I’d be willing to spend the rest of my life with.
I’m offering very little advice. I’m mostly just paddling in the ocean of his eyes, making sure not to drown.
Then there’s the fact that he actually took my advice and is dressed in neutral colors today. It’s a subtle detail, but our color palettes match so perfectly that I’m imagining how cute we’d look together in a picture.
I want to ask the same question, or maybe just faint. Fainting sounds like a tempting option right now, especially since Zane just risked being seen in public to save me from this embarrassing showdown.
I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but I’ve got a thing for sniffing out tension. And after feeling powerless for so long, I can’t stand by and watch someone else get bullied.
“I didn’t do it for you. I’ve been trying to make plans with you for a few days now, so when the opportunity arose, I had to take it.” I joke. In reality, I couldn’t just sit back and watch. I guess it’s a bit of a pet peeve of mine—seeing people being picked on, especially for something as trivial as not having a packed social calendar.
“But seriously, why didn’t you just say you weren’t up for their engagement party? It was on such short notice. Anyone would’ve understood.” She pauses. “I couldn’t. I’m not known for saying no to things.” “Pfft, you say no to me all the time. In fact, you love saying no. It’s like declining invitations is your favorite thing to do.”
“Who said anything about a date? I told you I just need a friend, and I know you could be a good one.” I, on the other hand, have no problem bending the truth as long as I’m not harming anyone and it helps me get to know her.
“I still don’t understand your intentions with me, Zane. I know you’re trying to hit on me, and the fact that you keep denying it makes you sus.”
When Pearl mentioned that her roommate would join us, I welcomed Robyn’s company without any hesitation. I wasn’t about to risk anything that might distance me from Sweet P.
“I wouldn’t even know what’s going on.” She gives me her adorable shy smile. What a beauty!
“I like to read,” Pearl responds, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. Clearly, she doesn’t need to share my passion for hockey. She has her own thing.
The smile Pearl gives Robyn is one for the books. I can only hope to receive such a genuine smile from her someday.
Pearl furrows her brow in confusion. “Why would you subject yourself to another fan attack?” “As long as you don’t leave me this time, I won’t mind.” A grin forms on her perfect lips.
With my mind solely focused on Pearl, I doubt anyone will succeed in diverting my attention from her, especially now that I know Duke broke her heart. My reason for going is none other than to ensure he doesn’t have the opportunity to hurt her again.
And I’m grateful for the absence of alcohol. Booze is a big no-go for me; it’s a trigger.
From where I’m standing, I can discreetly keep my eyes on Pearl. I’m trying not to make it too obvious, but I’ve never encountered anyone quite like her. If kindness had a face, it would look like hers.
“Glad she finally realized you two weren’t a good fit,” I say firmly, making it clear that he can’t speak negatively about Pearl in my presence.
