The Game She Hates (A Healing Kind of Love #1)

by Ella Marie

“Ha ha, honestly, I’ve never been one to pry into others’ affairs. But the way I grew up made me someone who is always hyper-aware of my surroundings. That includes picking up on conversations I probably shouldn’t be privy to.”

So what about you? Let me guess. Had a great childhood? Grew up in a home with loving parents and boundless joy?” “Why is that your guess?” “The way you carry yourself. You’re kind, and it’s like you can’t frown. Even when you do, it’s another one of your adorable expressions. And you care about people. That’s why I call you Sweet P,” he says, and at the mention of “adorable expressions” and the nickname he gave me, my heart quickens.

“Why not?” “This is why not,” I say, pointing directly at his eyes. “Friends don’t give me that look.” “You have a problem with my eyes?” “It’s the way you look at me. That’s not the same look you gave Robyn or anyone else here.”

It made me want to talk and see where it goes. But you’ve made it clear since then that you don’t want to explore the idea of us in a romantic capacity. But I still want you in my life. In any capacity. Except, obviously, as my therapist, because you’d never let me get close to you.”

My experiences helped me to see my need for Jesus. I had no sense of identity and felt like I didn’t belong to anyone. Discovering that God adopted me through Jesus Christ healed my wounded heart. Now, what I’ve been through enables me to empathize deeply with the children I counsel.

“It’s not religion I’m talking about. What Jesus died for on the cross wasn’t for me to adhere to a religious system. It was for me to have a personal relationship with God through Christ. That was the purpose of his ultimate sacrifice.”

We dug into our pasts, and despite our hard upbringing, Pearl managed to unearth childhood moments that had us both in stitches. Leave it to her to resurrect some fond memories from my early years. I never knew I had those; my mind had been fixated on the darkest chapters for as long as I can remember.

It was clear someone, who wasn’t even Duke, hadn’t treated her as the gem she truly was, and all I wanted was to reassure her that she was worth more than the world’s treasures.

Pearl has a knack for listening to me and always knows just the right words to say, even if those words often came straight from her Bible. Her gentle reminders of God’s unconditional love and His desire for my well-being stayed with me long after we hung up.

The wind tousles her curled hair, and though she’s trying to maintain a serious expression, I can tell she’s fighting back a smile. It reassures me that this surprise isn’t unwelcome.

However, here in church, it’s clear that Robyn isn’t just a hockey fan; she’s also a Christian, like Pearl, who enjoys attending church.

This must have been Pearl’s idea of a low-key spot. She is so thoughtful.

Duke could never appreciate Pearl the way I do—the little things, like her desire to remain unseen and her contentment with being different. It’s something I admire and even long for myself, especially the deep sense of contentment despite everything she’s been through.

“All right. Want a piece of advice?” “Please!” “She needs to trust you. She needs to know that your intentions are pure and align with her values.” Robyn may be my biggest fan when I’m on the ice but she could not be more loyal to her best friend. I respect that about her.

“You can both say it. It’s too big of a house for one person. I know it too,” Zane remarks, running a hand through his hair—a habit he seems to have when he’s not sure what to do with himself. It’s cute.

Pearl seemed uncomfortable just watching me do the dishes by myself. It’s endearing how she gets flustered by even the slightest hint of awkwardness around me.

“Hockey is my identity, and so far, it hasn’t steered me wrong. It’s what everyone knows me by, and it’s the only place I feel like I belong.” “That’s not true.” Pearl’s voice trails off as she walks toward the living room. “I don’t know you as a hockey player. I know you as the stalker at Randy’s café,” she says laughing at her own joke.

I could tell her the truth, although it’s rather basic and not particularly impressive—that she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. It’s like she has a halo above her head, and being near her feels necessary to me. She has this charm that always draws me in effortlessly. But I also don’t want her to leave because I tried to flirt with her.

I could use more people in my life who aren’t impressed by me,”

When Pearl emerges from the bathroom wearing my clothes, my heart takes a cross-check. I almost can’t breathe. I’ve never been one to share my closet with anyone, but I’d definitely reconsider if Pearl wants to borrow all my clothes.

Every time a drip of stain slides off the brush and hits the floor, she quickly dabs it with a rag. It’s beyond sweet how perfectly she wants to do this.

Pearl’s presence and the little quirks of her efforts make this feel less like a task and more like a moment I want to capture and hold onto forever.

“No, I think I’ve done enough damage to this table. Let’s go home,” she says, replacing her enthusiasm with an all too familiar distant tone. Was the fun we were having all in my head? Why is Pearl trying to resist enjoying herself with me?

Enduring another sip of my mediocre coffee is only adding to the headache already pulsing in my temples. But then again, that’s a small price to pay to avoid falling for Zane. Yesterday, when he taught me how to stain a table, was one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever shared with anyone, and it wasn’t even a date. In fact, I have no business doing anything romantic with that guy.

All this swooning shouldn’t blind me from the glaring truth that we’re unequally yoked, and I need to distance myself from him, pronto. It’s a deal breaker for me, and the last thing I want is for him to turn into another Clay.

“Come to the game with me on Thursday. If you still think he’s unimpressive after that, I’ll never tell anyone you hate hockey. I’ll just keep it to myself that my bestie is deranged.”

“I know suffering seems like the world’s worst problem to us. But not to God. Sin is his biggest concern. It’s what brought suffering into the world back in Eden, and it’s what continues to perpetuate it. Sin is the one thing that separates God from human beings because He can’t coexist with it. That’s why He sent Adam and Eve out of Eden. After creating them and seeing that it was good, it must have broken His heart not to have a relationship with them. The only way to bridge that gap was through the sacrifice Jesus made on Calvary.”

“When you have a relationship with God, He is with you all the time.” He clears his throat. “When you’re suffering, He’s there to comfort and ease your pain, granting you peace amid life’s storms. When doubt creeps in, He strengthens your faith. When you’re lost, He guides you. You never have to face anything alone when you have a relationship with God.”

“There’s a Bible verse my family and I always turn to in hard and painful seasons that reminds us to go to Jesus. It’s from Hebrews 4:15-16: ‘For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things just as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let’s approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need.’”

“You don’t deserve it, but neither do I. Nobody deserves the love God showed us on Calvary. He had His son suffer in our place. What we all deserved was to be on that cross. And I’m grateful God doesn’t give us what we deserve; that’s why salvation is a gift. We can’t earn His love, so neither of us can boast about doing something right.”

When you get a glimpse of God’s love for you, you’ll not want to spend this life or eternity without your Creator and lover of your soul.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been going to church? And what changed your mind? I’ve been inviting you for ages, and just when I’d given up, you finally give it a try. I mean, I’m happy but also super convicted that I stopped asking.”

Well, I guess you’d say God used my interest in a girl to show me He’s interested in me too.”

I’d met him briefly on a video call, but I missed Pearl so much. I tried to call, text, but she wasn’t replying, and the message was clear.

Yet, now it’s clear there’s nothing about me to admire, except my skills on the ice and the way I handle the puck. Apart from that, I’m just an empty canvas.

I need to focus on finding my own path to fulfillment, much like Tyler, Carson, and even Coach seem to have found in their relationship with God through Jesus. Tonight, I’ll say the prayer. I’ll ask Jesus to come into my life. I need to finally know what it’s like to have a good Father.

🥹

But then, amidst the sea of faces, one catches my eye. No, it can’t be her. Pearl would never be at a hockey game. She hates hockey. She hates sports. She hates me. Well, maybe hate is a strong word for a Christian. She definitely doesn’t like me. That can’t be her at my game, in my jersey.

I can’t believe he spotted me in this crowd. How did he even know where to look? The first time his eyes found me, I thought I was gonna pass out.

“You know what I’m talking about! Did you and Zane just have a moment? I mean, moments? Every time he scored, he basically dedicated the goal to you.” A smirk is playing at the corners of her lips as she calls me out.

“I didn’t need you to confirm you liked him. I knew it. It was selfish of me to take you to the game. I’m sorry. I just wanted us to keep him.” She purses her lips. “Keep him? He’s not a stray puppy, Robs,” I laugh, feeling some relief.

I’ve had my fill of turning my dating life into a conversion project. I need to guard my heart above all else. I know my soulmate is out there, praying, asking God to bring his future wife and hoping I’m ignoring the wrong men that come looking like Zane. I can’t keep investing in relationships where faith misaligns.”

It’s ironic, really. Here I am—someone who prefers to blend into the background, remain unnoticed and unseen, always occupying the last row in school and church to evade unnecessary attention—now pining for everyone’s celebrity crush. My heart couldn’t have orchestrated a better prank if it tried.

It’s around the time when Zane would typically call, but it’s been a few days of silence. Part of me is relieved he’s stopped calling since I wasn’t picking up, but another part of me has ached at the absence of his name on my screen every night. My feelings are frustratingly complex.

Zane wants me in a way that terrifies me, because my heart longs for him just as deeply, if not more.

“Don’t spend your single days wishing them away, longing for the next thing. Marriage is indeed a beautiful union, but it also demands daily sacrifice and selflessness; your spouse will come first. And when you’re blessed with children, it’ll be time to pour daily and intensively into them.

but never think for a minute that if you’re still single and haven’t found your match, there is something wrong with you.

The sermon I watched on Sunday—I didn’t attend in person to avoid making Pearl uncomfortable, since the last thing I want is for her to think I’m on my faith journey to get close to her—talked about the old passing away and the new being here. That’s what it’ll be from now on.

Thank You for listening to me for the third time today. I’ll be back with another praise or request. Amen.”

he is adorable

God, I never thought to ask for love because I never believed in it until now. But if there’s still time to make such requests, and if I could have my pick, it’d be sweet Pearl I’d want to walk down the aisle with.

Oh no, the dress that shows off all my insecurities. “Pearl, you look beautiful,” he says, as if he could read the doubts swirling in my mind. Despite my resolve to not seek validation from a man, his compliment somehow manages to silence the chorus of negative thoughts that plague me.