Fangs for Nothing (The Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven 1)

by Steffanie Holmes

Lord Alaric Valerian is made of stone.

“I’ll call you Winnie if you call me Alaric.” “But you have a fancy title. If I had a fancy title, I’d make everyone use it.” “Would you like a fancy title?” The corner of his mouth quirks again.

his eyes locked on mine with the same raw intensity he usually reserves for his art, makes me self-consciously check that I definitely, absolutely remembered to put clothes on this morning.

Shes so real for that

Alaric draws a long, curved blade from the pile. “Take this with you. For protection.”

STOP :,(

“Please, Winnie. It would ease my mind.”

UGHHH IM OBSESSED WITH YOUUU

And despite furnishing her with a knife, I find that I can’t bear the idea of letting her out of my sight with a husker on the loose.

Strawberries invade my nostrils. My skin crawls with the memory of every time she’s touched me without fear.

I ache to hold her.

This is not for you. But I cannot tear myself away. My hand closes around myself. I close my eyes and draw myself out, stroking my length in cruel silence as I gorge myself in a vision of her golden eyes staring back at me, wide and burnished with pleasure.

Uhm............WTF??!??!?! C

“Alaric … oh!” Her voice weaves an enchantment. The knowing of it, of what she’s doing to herself in there with my name on her lips⁠—

In a moment, I could have the door off its hinges, I could be in her bed, tasting her, making her scream my name instead of whispering it.

I-

I want her so badly that I might have to stake myself through the heart just to keep her safe from me.

Tell your mother to hold on to her tits,

Now I know that she … that she’s attracted to me, I don’t want to lower myself in her esteem by allowing her to see this worthless doodle.

Usually, when I close the lid of my coffin, I am dead to the world. (That’s my little joke, since I am always dead to the world.)

Funny

When she’s here, Black Crag doesn’t feel like a prison, but a home.

I can’t believe he’s allergic to sunlight. I hope he’s going to be okay.

That’s ridiculous. There’s a reasonable explanation for all of Alaric’s strange habits. There’s a totally logical reason why he has a coffin in a chapel in his private suite⁠—

and I’m afraid if I open my mouth, I’ll accuse him of being a vampire. Or I’ll leap on him and climb him like a haunted treehouse. It’s one or the other.

thought you’d be interested to know, since you’ve been shut up in that castle during some of the most VITALLY IMPORTANT moments in history, that there is this wonderful invention called contraception – it enables a human woman to lie with whomever she chooses … without falling pregnant. Do with that information what you will. I won’t tell. Don’t ever say I’m not a good friend to you.

It’s my fault that you’re injured. I wish you didn’t have to save me, but thank you all the same. I … I can’t tell you what it means to me.” “You are safe in my castle, Winnie.”

“I’ll do whatever you ask of me.” Yes, ask me, beg me, whisper my name like an incantation. If you knew the things I would do to you now in that chair, if only you would ask …

Sweet Winnie, if you knew about my intentions for your body right now

“What do you want for your life?” I want you. I want your name on my lips again as I drive you wild. I want to taste you. All of you. I want to make you mine.

“Remember when I told you that you were a perfectionist?” I remember every word you speak.

Baby Gargantuan,”

“Basil Codswallop.

“Baskin Gobbins

Babel Gibberwort’s

I don’t know how she does it, but Arabella manages to carry the girl back to the van without breaking a sweat or tripping in her six-inch stilettos.

VAMPIRE VAMPIRE

I drag a bag of clay from behind the potter’s wheel and tear it open. “What are you doing?” I’m trying to make you want to stay with me longer.

I’m aware of every single detail of her.

I want you to stop wriggling your derrière against me unless you want me to bury myself in it.

I may be a monster, but if she would be mine, I would be her monster⁠—

“Bloodsucker or no, that man should be cleaning out your cobwebs with his womb broom.”

His sharp cheekbones and strong jaw stand in stark relief, and the way he steps towards me, oozing power and possession and danger, makes me understand why dark romance heroines are so ready to be tied up in a basement and punished by the villains.

“I am … trying to be vulnerable. I thought you might like some supper.” He holds out his arm. “Would you allow me to take you for a meal?” The corner of his mouth quirks a little as if something he said is funny in a dark way. He’s trying to be vulnerable. For me.

His skin is as cool as ever. He shouldn’t let himself get so cold. If the sunlight makes him bedridden for three days, then I can only imagine what he’ll be like with man flu.

“You’re not a disaster of a human.” Alaric’s dark eyes bore into mine.

“I spend my days creating chaos from order, but I did not know what brought me joy until I met you. I do not have words for the gift you’ve given me.”

How are Patrick and Claire, the two people I most wanted to escape when I came to Argleton, walking across the green towards us?

Youre actually fucking joking rn

“I’m sorry, you rescind the tea invitation? That is the sickest burn I’ve heard from a member of the aristocracy.”

What’s wrong with me? I’d be able to think more clearly if he wasn’t glaring out at the world like he’d burn it all down for me.

“You’re my knight in shining armour.” “I’m afraid my armour is rather dulled from lack of use, but if you ask it, I shall don my suit and duel that fiend Patrick. Luckily, we will not need such a large rope for his tiny testicles⁠—”

“Talk, lest I find other ways to tempt open those lips.”

AHHHH I WANNA KNOW I WANNA KNOW

“I did not run from our kiss because I don’t want you, Winnie. I ran because you’re everything I’ve dreamed of.” Excuse me, what?

I long to reach into her dream and pluck out the monster that’s hurting her, but I don’t have that power.

But I remember something that helped me. When I ran away to the Midnight Court with a skull filled with nightmares, a friend taught me to sing. I learned songs of hope and longing, songs of farewell to brothers at arms, songs of war and songs of love.

STOP IT RN

“Winnie requires a new rectangle of annoyance, as hers has joined my ill-conceived attempts at knitting at the bottom of the cistern.”

“I tried to rescue the rectangle of annoyance, but it swims as well as you do.”