Fangs for Nothing

The Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven #1

by Steffanie Holmes

He’s a hot, grumpy, reclusive vampire, and the last thing he wants is an interfering human tidying his castle…until her.

Lord Alaric Valerian has a problem. His mother is visiting his castle for the first time, but she doesn’t know that Alaric has filled every room with his centuries of artistic passions and creative pursuits.

Desperate, he hires professional organiser Winnie Preston to help him tame the mess. But Alaric isn’t prepared for bubbly, passionate Winnie to show up at his castle and ram a metaphorical stake through his cold, vampire heart. Winnie sets his fangs on edge, but the more closely he works with her, the more he wishes she could be his.

So when Alaric’s mother arrives with a new bride-to-be in tow, Alaric convinces Winnie to pretend to be his fiance. He may be causing all kinds of scandal in the vampire court by being engaged to a human, but at least he doesn’t have to give up his reclusive life.

But Winnie still doesn’t know Alaric’s a vampire, and Alaric didn’t count on Winnie’s meddling book club pinning him for a mysterious murder in the village. Will their maybe-not-so-fake-marriage survive once Winnie discovers the monster that lurks beneath his fangs?

Fangs for Nothing is a kooky, spooky, vampire romance full to the cauldron-brim with fake dating, a meddling smutty book club, murder and mystery aplenty, endless cups of tea, quirky characters, and a broody vampire with an ass so fine, Geralt of Rivia comes to him for fitness tips.

Genres: Romance, Fantasy, Vampires, Paranormal, Paranormal Romance, Romantasy, Mystery

501 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 10, 2024

About the author

Steffanie Holmes is the author of steamy historical and paranormal romance. Her books feature clever, witty heroines, wild shifters, cunning witches and alpha males who get what they want.

Before becoming a writer, Steffanie worked as an archaeologist and museum curator. She loves to explore historical settings and ancient conceptions of love and possession. From Dark Age Europe to crumbling gothic estates, Steffanie is fascinated with how love can blossom between the most unlikely characters.

Steffanie lives in New Zealand with her husband and a horde of cantankerous cats. Learn more about Steffanie at her website: www.steffanieholmes.com. She also writes dark science fiction under the name S C Green.

Want to be informed when the next Steffanie Holmes paranormal romance story goes live? Sign up for the mailing list! http://eepurl.com/ZrowD

Reviews

[Selah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A FALL MUST READ
Fangs or Nothing

I WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH AN ANCIENT VAMPIRE AND I WANT HIM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. LIKE LUST AFTER ME AND BE OBSESSED AT EVERY WAKING MOMENT. WAKE UP OBSESSED, FALL ASLEEP OBSESSED, CAN’T SLEEP AT ALL OBSESSED. AND I WANT HIS HUMANISH BUTLER TO MAKE ME HIS GRANDMA’S SPECIAL HOT CHOCOLATE EVERY NIGHT PLEASE. I ALSO WANT A FRIEND GROUP THAT'S OBSESSED WITH MUERDER MYSTERIES AND WANTS TO MEET UP ON A WEEKLY BASES AT A BOOKSTORE TO SPILL TEA AND GOSSIP. THAT’S WHAT I WANT AND NEED. ORRRRRR BETTER YET JUST THROW ME IN THIS DAMN BOOK SO I CAN LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! THANKS!

This is the first time I’ve read anything from this author and I’m instantly in love with how they write!! It’s officially fall so I need all of the best spooky, cozy, and fun books that I can get. THIS is definitely going on my ‘feel like fall’ list!!

[Maja - BibliophiliaDK ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

NICE ROMANCE, BUT TOO MANY CHARACTERS

Maybe it's just because I didn't read the first book in this series, but I was a little confused at times...

What I liked

👍 Romance: The romance between Alaric and Winnie felt very organic. I wouldn't exactly call it slow burn, but it was still a romance that had time to grow and become profound, which is something I really appreciate.

What I didn't like

👎 Characters: For me, there were simply too many characters. I had a hard time telling them apart and remembered who was who. Some of them were not really consequential to the story, which made it a bit messy.

👎 Sleuthing: A murderer is on the lose, so of course the Nevermore Murder Club sets out to investigate. Only... They didn't. Not really. It was hardly even a thing until the very last minute, and even then it wasn't really anything at all. I would have preferred the sleuthing to actually be a central part of the story or it not have been there at all. This just felt irrelevant.

ARC provided by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

[EmG ReadsDaily · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wildly entertaining, quirky vampire romance, featuring a wonderfully supportive yet meddlesome smutty book club.

This had me laughing out loud, gasping, and seriously questioning why I have never read 'womb broom' in any other stories.

What to expect:
🩸 Grumpy x sunshine romance
🩸 Gothic castle
🩸 Vampire lore
🩸 Found family
🩸 Fabulous female friendships
🩸 Amateur sleuthing
🩸 Witty banter
🩸 Fun bookish references

Some heavier topics are explored through this story, although they are handled with nuance and sensitivity.

I am very excited to read what comes next from Steffanie Holmes.

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I seriously loved this book. It was so damn funny. Like it had no business being this funny. I really hope that this will be a series that will somehow never end because I just wanna keep reading about these characters and just laugh and swoon and fall for all of them and their little quirks and personalities.

Even though this book was hilarious at times, it really shows that if you get a little lost in life that you can always find a way back to being yourself. It also has the perfect mix of magic, romance with a side of murder and mystery as well. I really cannot wait for the next book to come out because it kind of ends on a major cliffhanger. I’m also really curious what will happen in Winnie and Alaric’s life and where they will be at in their life together. So basically if you love vampire romances, mysterious deaths, a quirky group of friends, and spicy moments. Then you will love this one 🧛🏻 🩸🖤


🌶️🌶️🌶️/5

“Thank you Nerd Fam and the author, Steffanie Holmes for the ARC!”

[AndaReadsTooMuch · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say? I’m a sucker from grumpy x sunshine! This book was absolutely adorable! Perfect mix of cozy and fun, with the most adorable grumpy vampire ever. I had to move states in the middle of reading this and it was my happy place among all the chaos. Steffanie Holmes even managed to work in some complex themes dealing with mental illness, PTSD, and hoarding with surprising care and thoughtfulness. The amount of times I laughed out loud and quite literally kicked my feet is so high I lost count. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. It’s the perfect mix of sweet and salty, with an adorable love story as the cherry on top. (I also may have to rename a certain device Annoying Rectangle because I loved that line so much!)

Humongous thank you to the Nerd Fam for the gifted eARC. All opinions are my own. (My opinion is that you should pick this up if you need to be lost in a drama that doesn’t involve your own family! Tis the season!)

[ItaPixie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fangs for Nothing was a good, but pretty long, book.
This novel has everything I like, a picturesque little village, good looking vampires, a non conventional book club, an intriguing mystery, and a funny, spicy and emotional storyline.

Winnie Preston is a decluttering expert who accepted a job offer from a Lord to sort out some rooms of his castle before a ball. Little she knows that the secretive Lord Alaric hides some secrets that will change her life.

The characters have an unexpeted depth. I empathized with Winnie, from start to end, her fears are relatable, also Alaric has some flaws and scars that make him more human. I loved them both, their pasts are dark and painful, and I wished they could finally have a happy and hopeful future together.

This felt like the second book in the series because there is a book about the coven ladies, but even if I was so curious about them this can still be read as a stand alone. The author wrote an epilogue that won't let you stop at this installment, I'm already looking forward to the next one.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for kindly giving me an advanced copy of this book to read.

[Aleesha · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept of this book was what drew me in - a young woman with childhood trauma involving a mother who was a hoarder, trying to help a 500 year old vampire who is...a hoarder. There's a first time for everything, right?

Add to that, Winnie's ex-fiancé is now engaged to her ex-best friend and they're now in town and so is Alaric's mother - who's hell bent on marrying him off to another woman. AND there's strange murders happening in town, too?

It was a lot. And it felt like a lot. In fact, the front half of this book is Winnie trying to help this eccentric recluse hoarder out, and then halfway through, it suddenly becomes a fake-dating scenario because Alaric's sire shows up and tries to marry him off to someone else??? It felt like this book didn't know what it wanted to be, so it decided to be everything at the same time.

By the end of the book, I found I didn't really connect with or care about Alaric or Winnie or their relationship. And I wasn't curious anymore about who the murderer was (which I don't think gets wrapped up anyway, and appears as though it'll continue in book 2).

On top of that, the coven/book club aspect was just... pointless and irritating. I found a new ick thanks to this part of the book - when authors have their characters gush about another popular modern author's works. Ew. Just say you live on BookTok. It feels like name dropping. We could have cut ALL of this out and the book would have been WAY better.

Finally - the fact that this book is nearly 500 pages long is ludicrous for what it is. It just tried to do too much - to be too quirky. Losing 150 pages would improve this by a mile, I think.

There are some charming, silly moments and some good banter between Alaric and Winnie - but not enough to outweigh the sheer amount of other stuff going on around them. There were times I had to put the book down and get up and walk around, because I was so bored I was falling asleep.

[Kassandra DeBord · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rating: 2.5 Stars/Review Contains Spoilers
Chili Peppers: 🌶️🌶️.5

***Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for the ebook.

At first, I was very *enthralled (teehee)* about the the description for "Fangs for Nothing", we've got a cute puns, well executed timing for spooky season, and the classic trope of grumpy vs. sunshine + bonus trope: Fake Dating. This story follows the Winnie, a professional organizer (with childhood trauma associated with hoarding), and Alaric, a 500 year old vampire hoarder. She's trying to help him navigate through 500 years of different hobbies/clutter on a tight deadline related to his mother throwing a ball. There's also a lot going on in the background (her mother, her partner, ex-fiancé/ex best-friend) back in London and new characters from the 'Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven.' I think it started off strong with the world building, 1st murder case, and the lead up to Alaric and Winnie's intimate relationship.

However, I felt like there was too much going on in the book. Around 50% I just felt so bored and the cute banter was not enough to sustain me. We've got the incoming texts from Faye (partner), her Mother (source of trauma), the Book Club (great banter, but also way to many members) (Side note: I understand from looking at the author's history that Smutty Book Coven Members have their own separate series, but this is the first book I've read from her and their very set in their ways--I don't feel like this book was treated a start to a new series and you would have needed to read the others to get the full benefit). The spicy scenes were OK, but Alaric and Winnie weren't described very well--it just seemed like they had so many unnecessary up and down's and it wasn't that special of a relationship. The most maddening thing to me is that the murders popping up (it's a romance/murder mystery/trauma dump) --AND the murder mystery was NOT solved by the end of the book (supposed to open to book 2 with Arabella and Gideon's relationship).

Overall, there were good things about the book but felt like a lot of could have been cut out and wrapped up better than the way it was. I didn't care enough by the end of the story to find out who was the murderer or to stick around for book 2. If you want smut and silly banter, this one may be ok but there are less dense options out there as well.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 ⭐️ I was lucky enough to get my hands on a special copy thanks to Steffanie’s PR team and let me tell you it was a bloody delight (pun fully intended).

Our FMC Winnie is a professional organiser (thanks to a hoarder mum) who lands a job helping clean up a literal castle. The owner? Alaric … he’s a moody, broody, Vampire. She doesn’t know that bit of course. Add in a murder detective club disguised as a book club (aka the Smutty Book Coven) and some small-town chaos and I was sold.

This was such a fun and easy read. I loved the banter, the friendships, the quirky characters and the mystery threaded through it all. Alaric gave just the right amount of “I’m a monster” angst while Winnie came in with her colour-coded labels and slowly broke down his walls. It was truly adorable.

Murder, mystery, romance, vampires, found family vibes, and more than a few laugh-out-loud moments? Yeah, I need the next one immediately.

[Cassandra 🍁☕️📚 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this one; even though it’s more on the insta love side. I felt like Winnie was dense at times. I loved her and Alaric together. I’m hoping we get more Gideon in the next book.

[Ashley (Red-Haired Ash Reads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Series: The Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven #1
Rating: 3.5 stars - I liked it

TW: hoarding disorder; PTSD, panic attacks and nightmares; mentions of war, torture, and multiple murder attempts

Lord Alaric Valerian has a problem. His mother is visiting his castle and plans to host a ball, but she doesn’t know he has filled every room with his artistic passions. Since he is desperate, he hires a professional organizer to help him fix his mess. But she is human and Alaric isn’t prepared for how she would turn his world upside down and awaken his cold, vampire heart.

This book caught my attention because of the beautiful cover and then I read the blurb and knew I would probably enjoy it. This is my first Holmes book, but most likely not my last. This was an enjoyable vampire romance with close proximity and fake dating. Overall, I did enjoy this book but I think the pacing of the story caused me to struggle a bit with it. While this is a fake fiance story, that part doesn’t really come into effect until almost 50 percent in this book, which with over 500 pages, that's quite far in for a romance. I did enjoy that first half but it was a bit slow with its focus on cleaning and organizing Alaric’s castle. But I still enjoyed the story, I just wish I had known going in this was going to be a bit of a slow start.

Winnie was an energetic and compassionate woman who really wants to help people struggling with too much stuff. She is driven by her childhood growing up in a hoarder house with her mother, who is still struggling. I really liked Winnie and her drive to help others. We see her trauma and PTSD from her childhood come into play. While I know nothing about hoarding disorder, I do think the author did a good job at showing how this is different for every person and how it affects those around them. Winnie really struggles with clutter but has built her life around being in it and fixing it, but we still see her have panic attacks and nightmares.

Alaric, like Winnie’s mom, is a hoarder but in a different way. Alaric is over 500 years old and spends his time holed up in his castle making art. He is an extremely passionate creator but as the centuries have passed he has lost more of his castle to those passions. We see him being more receptive to cleaning and getting rid of stuff and he makes a lot of progress, but of course this doesn’t fix his hoarding tendencies completely.

While Alaric is an old warrior, we see that he is actually a gentle soul who just wants someone to see him and not a monster. While Winnie doesn’t know he is a vampire at first, even when she finds out she still sees the true man underneath. I really enjoyed seeing these two get to know each other, play at being a couple, and realize they wanted to be together forever. Yes of course there is a lot of trauma, fear, and a murder to work through first but it was enjoyable all the same. I also really like that while we see these two have a HEA, it only happened after a lot of working through the trauma and mental illness with a therapist and friends for it to work. It felt more realistic, especially when dealing with something as debilitating as hoarding.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and look forward to reading the next one in the series. I also plan on reading the Nevermore Bookshop Mysteries now because I really want to know more about Mina and the other NMCSBC members and their adventures solving murders. Also Mina has three husbands who are from literature, so of course I need to find out how that happens now.

*ARC provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5
🌶️🌶️ 2/5

Murder. Spice and everything nice… and naughty 🖤🔥
Thank you to NetGalley and Steffanie Holmes for an ARC of this amazing book and allowing me to share my thoughts with other readers.

This is definitely a book that is 5 stars based on exactly and PERFECTLY matching my vibes, this was everything I could have wanted and hoped for in a spooky season book and done to perfection.
The burn was slow and sizzling. The characters were unique, quirky and fun. The plot was complex and interesting with never a dull moment. I was immediately hooked and never let go.

I mean what about the “Nevermore Murder Club and Smutty Book Coven” is there not to love? That’s everything right there! I loved the references to other popular books, we love a hype girl in the booksta world and this made me love this author even more.

Each of the peripheral characters clearly has their own story and I am simply elated that lots of those books exist in the series preceding this one, the Nevermore Bookshop series. I can’t wait to dig into all of them!

Okay, the spice. This was such a great slow burn with so much tension you could cut it with a knife! I loved the creative moments that led up to Alaric giving in! Absolutely perfect “f**k it” moments. This book was truly impressive somehow combining all of the best book boyfriend tropes and micro tropes together in the best way.

If you love the Sophie Morgan books, this is 100% your next spooky season, paranormal romance series.

[⊹ ✧ Beyond_the_Bookmarks ✧ ⊹ · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a super fun read! I loved this book, with its very unique writing style, it’s exciting and fresh! I honestly feel like this was made for millennials with some very clever crossovers and a general vibe that “gets it”.

A small town cozy romcom with serving of Vampy 1995 Mr Darcy, throw in a gaggle of quirky feminine friendship and a murder to solve and you have this absolute masterpiece.

I was pulled in by a clever title and a pretty cover and I’m sooooo happy I took that chance. This is something I’ve wanted to read for a long time, it was light, fun, a little spicy and always needing “just one chapter more”.

The only thing this book needed was a recipe at the end for Reginald’s special treat. IYKYK.

Highly recommend if you enjoy a good book. This covers so many interests it would be a fantastic edition to a book club choice - I’ve already recommended it to mine! ❤️❤️

[Luu ⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Si hubiera muerto en ese campo de batalla, nunca te habría conocido. La eternidad valió la pena la espera por ti, Winnie Preston"


"Amarla me destruirá por completo, pero estoy más que dispuesto a que me arruinen"

No me importa nada, esto es un cinco estrellas y no acepto discusión alguna. T amo Alarico yo si dejo que me muerdas 🥺

[Gabi D'Esposito · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️

I’m choosing to believe this is a Klaus & Caroline AU. If you know, you know.

This was genuinely HILARIOUS while also dealing with heavier topics like hoarding, mental illness, and PTSD with tact. It definitely could have been trimmed down as the pacing ebbed and flowed as the story progressed but it was filled with a lovely spooky atmosphere and very unique characters, so I really enjoyed it nonetheless.

I would recommend this to anyone looking for a relatively lighthearted and steamy paranormal romance/murder mystery!

Big thanks to NetGalley and Bacchanalia House for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review 🖤🧛‍♂️

[Aleksandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was really fun read until Winnie found out Alaric is a vampire...

[Stephanie Grosse · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

A fun, quirky rom-com featuring our favourite supernatural beings. A perfect palate cleanser.

What to expect:
- grumpy/sunshine
- fake dating
- vampires
- betrayal
- murder mystery
- a meddling, witchy book club!

I found myself genuinely cackling while reading this, but as unserious as this book is, it also manages to tackle deeper issues including trauma and mental illness with ease. This was a truly refreshing read!

[Robinbythecatsandbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley and Victory Editing for the arc in exchange for an honest review.

This was a perfectly executed Vampire Romance murder mystery with a fun variety cast of characters.

I didn't know I needed this book until I had finished it. The heavy connection to mental health and dealing with the trauma behind hoarding with not only the hoarders but the people the effected with it was eye opening. As someone who lives with what I what would call a hoarder this book has taught me to see a different side and has woken a new compassion in me. Thank you Steffanie for that unexpected lesson.

But on to the romance and characters. I don't take it lightly when I saw this was a perfectly executed Vampire Murder Mystery Romance. It really did tick off all the boxes.

Fake dating. Miscommunication and secrets tropes. Friednships and family trauma.

The spice actually came at 40% and not 70% into the book like I am used to and my god the spice was fire!! I really enjoyed that the plot really didn't need the spice but my oh my the places and timing it showed up was just amazing!!!

The comradare between the FMC and the bookclub pals was so intriguing I instantly went and got the Nevermore Bookclub series and am reading that next!!

The chemistry between the grumpy MC snd FMC was actually well balanced. The attraction was Instant and he was so chivarlous and attentive. Winnie needed help but wanted to be the helper and a lot of the times you could see her struggles of I'm used to being alone I will be fine attitude that contrasted nicely with the I'm glad he came to help me.

I'm glad that it wasn't just the FMC that had trauma. Obviously the hunky centuries old Vampire has trauma too and they way they got to know eachother thru sharing memories and stories while they decluttered his castle was unlike any Romance plot I had seen before. It was just all sorts of kooky and fun.

I could prattle on and about this book but I will stop and say thanks again Netgalley and Steffanie and her team at Victory Editing and I look forward to reading the sequal and I will be sharing this with my own Vampire Loving Bookclub!

[Atheina Vismark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley, Bacchanalia House and Steffanie Holmes for an Advanced readers copy in exchange of an honest review.

This book had so much potential I'm angry. It starts of so well, Winnie's character at the start was so interest, but as the book went on (and it went on for longer than it should have) slowly started to lose it's initial spark. Same with Alaric (Allie) and the Nevermore Book Club, which at the end really didn't have as much scenes as the premise suggested. This book could have been 200 pages less, with many extra scenes cut and it would have ben better, along with the never-ending number of characters that were introduced along the way.

The writing style didn't evoke anything to me, but I did find hilarious the way Alaric reacted to modern technology and inventions as the book progressed and the history behind why Winnie became who she is today. Her trauma from that part was very well crafted. Would have loved to see more of the book club in action while actually solving the murder.

2.5⭐️ 2🌶️

[madison · Rating 3 out of 5]

as a fan of anything with vampire vibes, this book really did it for me! it gave me that nostalgic twilight feeling i've been chasing since middle school. the vampire lore and the lighthearted tone made it a fun read. the banter between the main characters was a highlight, keeping me engaged and i also enjoyed the murder mystery storyline.

however, it didddd lean a bit too heavily on overused tropes—there was so much drama packed in that it became overwhelming at times. the mix of fake dating, forced proximity, miscommunication, one bed, other woman drama, and other common plot devices felt like too much all at once. more romance and mystery, and little to no drama would’ve made this perfect for me.

overall, it was an enjoyable read, and i appreciate bacchanalia house for the arc!

[Jessica Grogan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I should’ve known when it popped up on NetGalley a day before it was published what I was in for. Part of this is my fault for not researching the author and seeing she writes in first person POV. Once they kissed within the first few pages I was out.

*I received an eARC from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

Unfortunately the writing of this book was quite poor, with overdone metaphors, repetition, and a lack of structure. This could have benefited from some more editing. While the plot was interesting at the beginning, it became more and more convoluted and really needed to be pared down.

[Victoria Nguyen · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars?

There were elements to this that I felt like I could really enjoy but it just never quite got there. It’s cozy at the start, but not cozy enough. There’s a murder mystery plot…but they don’t REALLY investigate. The urban fantasy elements also didn’t feel necessary to the story and were a little jarring. Like the Elon Musk jump scare. A little forgettable but also probably just not for me.

[nihaarika · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

going into this, i had no idea what to expect but fangs for nothing was such a fun, kind of campy (and vampy) fantasy. the romance between winnie and alaric was pretty sexy and filled with a lot of tension, and i mean, a lot. loved this book and so excited for the next one in the series!!!

[Em Reads Romance · Rating 4 out of 5]

I seriously loved this! It had the perfect mixture of magic, romance, self discovery, and some darker themes that I found very relatable. Winnie is such a lovely character to fall in love with, but all the other characters are so complex and thoughtful too. I need the second book ASAP.

[ThianeJansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Round up to 4.5!✨

This book is basically if Gilmore Girls moved to a small town in England, it cranked the spice up, and added one emotionally constipated vampire (he’s hot tho)

So listen, Alaric’s mom is coming to town (cue doom music), but his house is an actual mess. Like, “centuries of artistic brilliancy but chaos ” levels of mess. Enter Winnie: sunshine in human form, professional organizer, and chaos-slayer. She’s all color-coded tabs and enthusiastic pep while Alaric is… basically a sexy vampire who loves trains and had a loom room! (That is so fun to say)

The grumpy/sunshine vibes? Immaculate. He scowls, she sparkles. He hides in the shadows, she reorganizes them. And just when you think it couldn’t get better🎢MOM SHOWS UP WITH A BRIDE. Yes. A literal bride. In tow. Like she’s delivering HelloFresh, but it’s a woman in a corset.

So Alaric, being the totally rational vampire he is, begs Winnie to pretend to be his fiancée. (HELLO FAKE ENGAGEMENT TROPE, I SEE YOU.)

Cue the forced proximity, sexual tension, awkward family dinners NOT in the dining room, and Winnie fully stealing this vampire’s undead heart. If he has one. Which is still up for debate. (But if he didn’t before, he definitely does now.)

This book is hilarious, weirdly wholesome, and gives off serious cozy fantasy romcom energy, with a spicy twist. The town is adorable, the bookclub is unhinged ride-or-die energy, and Reginald deserves his own novella immediately.

If you’re into:
🖤 Grumpy x sunshine
🖤 Fake engagement
🖤 Found family & chaotic small towns
🖤 British cozy chaos with a side of spice


…then this one’s for you. Honestly? 10/10 would fake engage to a vampire again.

[Bec · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐️2🌶️

I loved this!! This was a silly goofy good time from start to finish. I loved the small town vibes and the nosy book club members. The vibes of this book was giving twilight meets practical magic! The perfect read for a rainy autumn day. I loved the romance between Alaric and Winnie as well. It was fun and fresh even though the whole vampire x human thing has been done to death in paranormal romances. But a hoarder vampire and the professional organiser he hires to clean up his castle? Hilarious. Loved their dynamic, and the mystery sub plot was a fun twist too! I recommend this one for the twilight girlies! 🩷🩷

[Mia Mia · Rating 1 out of 5]

My first impression was to be charmed. A heroine I’d befriend, a mysterious vampire and witchy nut ball friends. But this book died a long drawn out death.

Winnie had spunk but her constant denial of the obvious (girl, he’s clearly a vampire) grated. Alaric is broody but that’s his entire personality.

The relentless advertising for another book series I didn’t sign up for really sucked and not in the hot vampire way. Plot holes, continuity errors and pacing issues didn’t help. This world has two Wednesdays in a row, daggers randomly appearing and a vampire that can hear the FMC from a tower but not when she enters the room? It’s a mess.

I think there may actually be a fun story buried underneath the clutter but the remaining page count doesn’t inspire me to find it.

This had the potential to be a banger. I’m calling time of death at @54%

Fangs for nothing indeed.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay it took maybe 35% for me to actually believe/feel the story - it all seemed a little surface level at first - but it got goooood. If you love your cozy PNR/romantasy with spice WHICH I DO BECAUSE YES IT’S ALLOWED AND SHOULD BE ENCOURAGED UNLESS YOU DON’T WANT TO WRITE IT THAT WAY IN WHICH CASE THAT’S COOL YOU DO YOU then definitely get the fuck into this because you won’t regret it.

Humour-wise: I like cozy because of the humour-factor you don’t get in epic high-stakes fantasy romance, and that’s like a palate-cleanser for me. I’m a kiwi like the author (chur) and this is the first book I’ve read of hers. To be fair, I wouldn’t necessarily have expected outright hilarity if it weren’t for the reviews talking of falling off seats and what not. Initially, I didn’t see what everyone else was calling hilarious, and I thought maybe that’s just because I’m so used to our humour - we’re dry, but I’m a Monty Python / Black Books kinda girl. Translated into writing, think A K Caggiano, Terry Pratchett, Brigitte Knightley. Maybe it’s because the story took time to settle for me. This hit close, buttt not quite - though I have to say, I thoroughly appreciated the Bernard Black reference.

Overall, I really enjoyed it, even though it called me out on several occasions (and I don’t mean Claire, the ONLY thing I have in common with the Claire in this book is a deep-seated people-pleasing complex OKAY) and I am extremely compelled to go read The Nevermore Bookshop Series because it’s super linked and it appears there is a lot of backstory to the Club - which seems to be a theme in authors/series I’m reading right now, FFS. I’m looking at you, Jolie Vines.

NB: I also very much appreciate Winnie’s Get-Shit-Done playlist. I think Steffanie & I would be friends if I didn’t strongly suspect she was in my house with all the goddamn call-outs.

[TheBookPlatypus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I found a new favorite author.
This book was absolutely amazing.
The world building, the friendships, the romance, the suspense, the banter. I absolutely loved it all.

Winnie grew up in a hoarding home and because she couldn’t help her mother, she co-founded a company that organizes and helps people stay on top of cleaning and organizing their homes.
Lord Alaric Valerian is a recluse vampire and has spent centuries picking up hobbies and his castle has become chaotic full of things.
His mother is coming in six weeks to host a ball and well, he needs help.
Winnie is hired.
“I am not used to kindness from humans. I am not used to the way her kindness makes me feel.”

She doesn’t know he’s a vampire. But she’s about to find out.

🦇 This is a fun and spicy paranormal romance.
🦇 Strangers to friends to lovers
🦇 Suspense.. town folk are getting murdered
🦇 Group of friends who have a weekly book group at the local book store
🦇 Found family
🦇 All the banter and laughs
🦇 HEA


The book club ladies seem to have their own books so this world is huge and I cannot wait to read more!