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Sometimes, all an old lady wants is a murder to solve. Is that too much to ask for?
What it did do was give her a knockoff, kind of like ordering something from Wish.
She only likes acting like a helpless little old lady; she doesn’t actually like being one, for goodness’ sake.
Because, what could be better than picking up the phone and telling off a few scammers? Oho, she’ll give them a piece of her mind. First, she will tell them that their ancestors are very disappointed in them. Then she will launch into a tirade about young people nowadays. Finally, she will ask if they have eaten, and if not, she will impart some recipe and tell them to go cook themselves a nice meal and ponder their life choices. This is her chance to make a real difference in the world.
But what is life without a little exaggeration now and again? Or, as Vera likes to call it, a little razzle-dazzle.
At her age, one does not have the time to look for trouble; rather, one goes on the hunt for it.
Her entire life feels like this, a murky mess of memories she can only remember through the eye of her phone camera. Is that sad, or is that just the new normal for everybody?
I am Chinese mother, all I do is create conflict. You think CIA know anything about destabilizing? They know nothing compare to me!”
She leans back, satisfied. Is there anything quite as invigorating as threatening people? When Vera was young, she used to read women’s magazines, all of which swore up and down that there is nothing more invigorating than exercise and/or sexual activity. But they really missed out on storming into someone else’s space and brandishing a good, solid threat in their faces. Vera makes a mental note to write a letter to the editors of women’s magazines, telling them to suggest making threats as a good pastime for young women.
Remember, Vera reminds herself, your ass is bad. Very bad. And that is a good thing.
