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“Ask me.”
“Don’t leave me,” I beg.
“Touch me,” she says.
The pulse between my legs pounds so hard, I almost groan. She kisses me, opening her mouth, the warm water spilling inside and down my chin and neck, and I lick my lips, thirsty for more, because tasting what she tasted makes me go mad. I throb down low, my body beating like a drum. I whimper, about to fucking come when she pulls away.
what, because it feels so good. “You don’t feel with him what you feel with me,” she whispers. “Do you?” I shudder and grip her, every muscle clenched, and I can’t stand it. Nothing feels like this. Nothing. “I hate you,”
“It’s a shame you’ll be wasted on him,” she whispers, steam billowing around us. “We would’ve had so much fun.” Would’ve.
She’s smart. She works hard. She’s in that theater every night, without pay, no one more devoted to earning everything she deserves. She comes from nothing, works her ass off, is honest and a good person. She’s the muscle on the team, and they’re all just acting like we actually have a shot without her. Like she isn’t irreplaceable. But to them, she’s nothing. She’s just the dyke who once went here.
There’s nothing. I’m nothing. I wish tomorrow would never come. It’s fine. Everything is fine. She’s the one who loses. Not me. Everything is as it should be now. Out of sight, out of mind. Just leave her alone. Forget about her. She’s gone.
I can do anything to her a man can do. “But I will never touch you,” I tell her, casting a glance to the sidelines and Megan. “I like her. She’s so ready.”
You weren’t worth the fight.” She grabs my collar. “You were worth nothing!” I shove at her, but she keeps hold and so do I. “None of us are, right? Jaeger for herself, right? Go, then. Get the fuck out of here! Go!” “I will!” she cries. “I’m leaving, Clay. And I’m not coming back!”
“And I’m never coming back!” Her shout rings in my ears, and in a moment, she’s going to rise, walk out the door, and she’ll never come back, because Liv doesn’t lie. She’s stubborn and strong and a survivor, and she never lies.
She can’t go. She can’t. I can’t . . . Resting my elbows on the seat, I hold my head in my hands as lumps of something fill my throat and my stomach quivers. And then . . . I feel something warm cover my back, arms wrap around my body, and hands tip my chin back and wipe the hair away from my face. I tense, instinct telling me to push her away, but all I want is her. She holds me to her, and I fall back, collapsing in her arms, crying. “You weren’t supposed to leave,” I murmur. “You weren’t supposed to give up on me.”
“You were the one who wasn’t supposed to leave.”
“What are you doing?” she whispers in my ear, and I feel the tears on her cheeks. “What are you doing to me, Clay?”
And I realize she’s not holding me. She’s holding on to me, because I’m not the only one alone. “What do you need?” she asks. “Tell me what you need.” “Just this,” I tell her. “Just don’t move, Liv. Please don’t leave.”
Liv was all I had left. I wanted to hurt her, so I could matter. I live for her, an enemy I never wanted to defeat. A fight I never wanted to end. But, God, her arms. The feel of her. Her voice. More.
No mother is better than a bad mother.”
don’t hate you.” Her murmur is barely audible. I look up, listening. “I think about you all the time,”
She was warm when I kissed her. Like how good coffee tastes on a rainy morning.
“Just let me go,” I barely whisper. “I can’t.”
“Sometimes I tried not to feel it,” I say. “Tried to force myself to get excited around a boy and to ignore the way my heart beat faster around . . .”
“She puts people back together,” Clay tells me. “She’s started to teach me how to put people back together.”
“But I do know life is too short. There is no tomorrow. This is all there is.” “This is all there is,”
“Livvy,” she whimpers, squirming against me. “Clay.”
I still don’t trust her. I know this is a mistake. But fuck, I need to feel her once. All of her. Just once. Fuck it. I want to feel her come undone.
This is all there is. This could be it. “I wasn’t built for what they taught us we were built for,” I whisper, running my fingers so softly over her pussy. “I was built to feel this.”
She tastes like a drug that if I go too fast, I’ll go out of my mind and lose control. I need to slow down.
I know she’s seen me naked, and I’ve seen her, but not like this. This is for us.
“I thought it wouldn’t matter,” she murmurs. “It does. I want you so badly, and I’m scared it won’t stop, Liv.”
“Keep talking, Collins,” I growl in a low voice over her lips. “Tell me more. You fucking owe me.”
“I love the way you laugh,” she says, quivering. “I never make you laugh, and I hate it when I see you from a distance and someone else did. But I love it, too.” A smile pulls at my lips. “You think about me?” She nods. “I wonder how these little braids happen.” She touches my hair. “If it’s a nervous habit, you do them on purpose, or maybe a little girl you babysit plays with your hair . . .” I hover so close to her mouth I can feel its heat. “I stare at them in math class,”
It feels like bubbles popping under my skin, thinking about her longing for me. Wanting me. I want her fucking spread wide on my desk while Callum Ames loiters in the hall, oblivious to what she really likes to do.
“I think about you in the mornings,” she goes on. “Right after I wake up. I ...
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“I wanted to be in that car with you,”
You were.
“I want to eat you up so badly,” she groans, “I can feel your bod...
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“How do we do it?” she asks. “I need more. How . . . ?”
I don’t know why, but I like that she’s worried about them waking up. It’s not that Clay thinks she’s doing something bad that turns me on. It’s that she can’t stop herself. “We can do to each other anything a guy can do to us,” I whisper, repeating the same thing I said on the field. “I can be inside you.” I flick her ear with my tongue as I slide my hand down between our legs. “You can ride me.”
“I can do anything you want me to,”
“Don’t leave my body,” she says. “That’s all I want.”
This is real for her. Gently, I pry her hands off as I nibble her ear. “Let go, Clay.” Her chest shakes, her breathing ragged. “I don’t want them to see.” “They won’t, baby.”
“Open your legs, Clay,”
getting demanding like Clay is so good at doing when there’s something she wants. That’s my girl.
“How long have you wanted your hands underneath my skirt, Collins? Tell me.”
“So long,” she pants. “I want to press you against the wall in every empty classroom and pull down your panties.”
Liv slips her finger into her mouth, and I watch her as she wets it and slides it back down under the covers, fingering my cunt.
“I can’t wait until then.”
“You’re mine, Jaeger.” I kiss her, sinking my mouth into hers, strong and hard, her hot tongue sliding into my mouth. “Mine.”
I’m bare, but I love that she’s not. It feels so fucking good.
“Shhh.” I watch the ecstasy on her face. “You’re mine. You’ve always been mine. Whenever I want. You’re my fucking girl.”
