Mine for a Moment

by Catharina Maura

Archer doesn’t even acknowledge him; he just stares at me, his broken heart on display for me. “Serenity,” he says, my name a quiet plea on his lips. Archer looks at me like I hold his heart in my hands, and I’m squeezing a little too tightly, slowly killing him. He looks at me like he loves me more than anything. Will that look fade in time? Will I come back here someday and find him looking at Tyra like that, like he always used to?

“Don’t wait for me, Theo. Forever isn’t long enough for me to forget about Archer.”

My mind begins to torture me with thoughts of a future where she’ll have gotten over me, and I grit my teeth as I think of her in his arms, his hands roaming over her body, discovering every sensitive spot I thought was mine. She’ll giggle when he touches her feet, only to moan when he spreads her legs and runs his finger up her thigh. He’ll find out that she loves wearing those sexy stockings and that a single kiss can make her wet. He’ll hold her in his embrace after, feeling the way her hair tickles his face, the way her breathing slowly deepens as she falls asleep on his chest. He’ll accompany her to her mother’s birthday, holding her hand as she smiles up at him, and I’ll have to stand there and watch the love of my life love someone else.

I’m numb as I push through them, only to freeze at the sight of the painting that confirms all of my suspicions. My lungs struggle to fill with air as I stare at my sweet girl’s fears and pain on display for the whole world to see.

She left because she didn’t think I’d choose her in the end, and I failed her if I didn’t instill enough faith in our relationship. I failed her by not changing my phone or door code, by asking her to paint The Ballerina, and then again by standing back as Theo asked her out, making her feel like I didn’t care. I failed her, and I lost her.

I’m shaking as I walk through my front door, desperate for a glimpse of her and knowing I won’t find it. She removed every trace of her, of us, and I finally understand why. She was giving me a blank canvas, not realizing I don’t want it. I want her, and her kaleidoscope of colors.

“Hi,” I murmur, each shard of my broken heart cutting deeper as he stares at me, clearly at a loss for words. We used to talk for hours even before we ever got together, and now there’s nothing left for us to say.

“Serenity,” he says, in that same way he used to, like my name is a prayer, a vow. I take one more look at him and end the call, only to be faced with the contours of his face on my canvas. He’s moved on, but here I am, clinging to every precious memory we made. How do I forget, like he has?

I sigh as I sit up and look around at the countless paintings surrounding me, fragments of happier times. I just know that ten years from now, I’ll still walk in here when I need a reminder of what it was like to be happy. Serenity isn’t someone I’ll ever forget.

Each day seems worse than the last, and I’m just not sure I know how to be happy without Serenity. I don’t think I ever really was before her. I never felt as alive as I did with her, and now that she’s gone, I’m once again just going through the same old motions, day in and day out.

“I still love you, Serenity Adesina. With all I am, all I’ve got. I still love you, and even if you don’t feel the same way anymore, please…please give me a—” My eyes widen when she wraps her hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in, her lips crashing against mine as she steals away my words. I groan as I grab her waist and push her legs apart with my knee, pressing her body against mine. Fuck. I’ve missed everything about her—the way her hair smells when I’ve got her this close, her soft curves against my chest, and the way her fingertips slide up my neck and into my hair as she kisses me. I missed feeling this alive, this whole.

“I love you, Archer Harrison. You’re the love of my life, and you always will be.” My heart soars as I lower my body on top of hers, holding myself up on my forearms to look at her. “I love you more, darling,” I murmur, kissing her forehead and then the tip of her nose, before moving to her cheek. “I will always love you, no matter what. If there’s one thing I learned while we were apart, it’s that I never knew what real happiness was before you, and I didn’t know how much I cherished it until I lost you.”

“I bought every single one of your paintings…except for one that I couldn’t get my hands on. I did it because…” He looks around, his smile becoming a little more tender, a little more intimate. “Because you painted memories of us that I wanted to collect and keep forever. I thought I’d lost you and that this was all I’d ever have, so I created this place for myself. It’s where I’d go when missing you became unbearable, and for a few moments, I’d feel your presence all around me.”

My dad stares at her speechlessly, and I burst out laughing, my heart overflowing with joy and contentment. I didn’t think we’d ever fully recover the happiness we experienced months ago, but we did. This is it. This is the happiness I’ve always dreamt of.

I watch her face as we reach the perfect vantage point for her to read what’s spelled out underneath her in pink tulips amongst red ones, the message subtle but undeniably for her. Serenity, will you marry me?

I grin as I drop down to one knee in front of her and reach for the ring box in my suit jacket, my hands shaking as I pop it open. Serenity turns to look at me, happiness radiating off her. “Serenity Adesina,” I begin to say. “You and I started off unconventionally, both of us thinking we wouldn’t last longer than a stolen moment or two, but from the moment I first kissed you, I knew things would never be the same again. Before I knew it, I was enthralled, addicted to your smiles, your outlook on life, your generosity, and your heart, not to mention your beauty, your wit, and your incredible talent. You are so much more than I ever expected, so much more than I deserve. I’m well aware that I’m not worthy of you, Serenity, but I swear on all I hold dear that I’ll never stop doing everything in my power to make you happy.” I take a deep breath when she smiles through her tears. “So give me a moment with you and then another. Grant me enough moments with you to fill up a lifetime because, darling, if you’ll let me, I’d like to be yours every moment of every day for the rest of our lives.” She inhales sharply when I take her hand, our eyes locked. “Serenity, will you please make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

She barely glances at it, unable to take her eyes off me, and I grin as I rise to my feet and sweep her off hers. I twirl her slowly, until she cups my face and leans in to kiss me, stealing away every thought but one. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her.