Mine for a Moment

by Catharina Maura

Archer has never denied me anything, and I don’t think he ever will. I’ve never felt as spoiled as I do with him, as well taken care of. There’s nothing I could ask for that he wouldn’t give me, whether that be his time or thousands of dollars of painting supplies that I’ll only use a handful of times.

“You’re such a good girl,” he whispers, caressing me with his gaze. “You’re perfect for me, aren’t you? Look at the way you take my cock, darling. It was made for you, did you know that?”

I’ve never met anyone who enjoys things so thoroughly, who lives so fully. She gives everything her all, and it’s fucking inspiring to witness. Just being around her reminds me to live more in the moment, to be more present. In just a few months, she’s taught me more than she realizes, more than I ever could’ve anticipated. She’s changed me for the better, and I didn’t even realize how bad of a state I was in before her.

She looks into my eyes, her gaze soft and filled with an emotion I don’t dare name. Things have rapidly changed between us, and I don’t think either of us ever saw it coming. We were never meant to fit together so well, but we do, and I’d be a fool not to enjoy every second I get with her.

Serenity rises to her tiptoes, and I sigh when her hand wraps around the back of my neck before she pulls me in for a kiss. Being with her feels magical, and even more so as we’re surrounded by flowers everywhere, the sun shining down on us.

I can’t recall the last time I felt so truly at peace. Being here with her, walking side by side, her hand in mine as the sun shines down on us…it’s a relatively simple moment, but fuck if it isn’t beautiful. What is it about her that suddenly makes me appreciate the little things when I never did before?

“Let me watch you paint,” I tell her. “You’re always beautiful, but when you’re painting, you’re fucking otherworldly.”

I groan and approach her, startling her as I push her white dress up to her waist before pulling down her thong. “Keep painting,” I tell her as I lean in for a taste. “Keep losing yourself in your favorite hobby, darling, and in the meantime, I’ll lose myself in mine.”

“Can I offer you a ride, Serenity?” My gaze cuts to his, and I bite back a smile as heat rushes to my cheeks, my mind replaying what he texted me an hour ago. I need you to ride my cock, darling. “I’d love that,” I tell him, reveling in the way he smirks, the two of us enjoying our little inside joke.

I don’t know how she’s done it, how she’s managed to occupy all of my thoughts, but she has. There’s no space for anything but her, and as time passes, I feel less guilty about it. It might be wishful thinking, but I’d like to believe that Tyra would’ve wanted us both to be happy.

I love how she always puts me first, even when she’d rather be painting. I wonder if she realizes what that means to me. No one has ever put me first like that. Not even Tyra.

She’s easily the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, but right here, right now, she’s the prettiest version of herself I’ve ever seen.

“Lie still,” she demands, even as she begins to rock on top of me, fucking me with shallow thrusts. “Don’t even dream of coming until I’m done painting.” “You’re kidding me,” I tell her, my cock already throbbing. She raises a brow and turns her paint board. “Do I look like I’m joking?” I laugh—I can’t help it. She’s got me so fucking smitten, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I never wanted to take her place, and I know I never could. It’s why we work so well together, right? Because I respect the fact that your heart will always be hers. You’re just mine for a moment.” I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, wishing I could refute her words without starting an argument. I want more than either of us signed up for, and hell, I’m not sure if that’s even an option.

I smirk and place our joined hands in my lap. It’s odd, because I’ve never enjoyed holding hands with anyone, but I like touching Serenity in any way I can.

“You’re everything, you know that?” I murmur without thinking, my thoughts hazy, clouded by everything she’s making me feel. “You’re everything to me.”

the way she hugs me mends something deep inside my soul. No one has ever been able to give me the kind of comfort she gives me, and fuck, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to live without it again.

I need to find a way to make leering at my girl a fireable offense.” She cups my face, and the way she looks at me makes my heart overflow with something I can’t quite define. It isn’t anything I’ve ever felt before—it’s warm and overwhelming and entirely terrifying. “Your girl, huh?” she murmurs. “Yeah,” I whisper instantly, leaning in to brush my lips over hers. “Mine.” She sighs happily in the moments before my mouth descends on hers, and I can’t help but smile. This kiss is different. It’s slower, more intentional. Her back arches, and she tilts her head as she brings me in closer, parting her lips for me.

“This is the best part of my day,” she whispers. “These little moments, when it’s just the two of us.” Her eyes fall closed when I kiss her cheek and then the tip of her nose, before moving to her forehead. “Mine too,” I murmur, wishing she understood just how much peace she brings me. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this. Simply holding her in my arms roots me in the present, makes everything but her fade away.

There’s something about the way he looks at me that makes me weak. He looks at me like I’m his whole world, like I’m all he needs.

My feelings for him have evolved into something new, something I’ve never felt before, and I’m starting to hope I’m not the only one who feels this way.

With each passing day, it’s becoming harder to hold on to her memory, and I’ve begun to wish I could just forget her. It’s unfair to her, and it makes me feel like a horrible person, but I can’t help but want what’s hers. I want Archer’s love, his future, and I know I’ll never have that.

I’d like to think that he’s changed in the last couple of months, that he’s enjoying spending time with me. But then I look at this painting, and I’m reminded that everything always leads back to her. His world will always revolve around her.

“So you think that this supposed girl is making him happy?” My stomach twists as I wait for his answer. “Happier than he’s ever been before, and I don’t think he even realizes it. My concern is that he’ll sabotage whatever he’s got the moment he realizes he’s falling in love because he seems to have convinced himself that he doesn’t deserve to be happy.” He looks over my shoulder, at my canvas, and this time, his expression turns into pure despair. “More than that, I’m worried about the girl he’s seeing and what it’ll do to her to realize she’ll never have all of him. Unless he lets Tyra go, he can’t be the man she deserves.” My heart stutters when he smiles at me with pure sorrow in his eyes. He knows.

God, I’ve never felt this way before. I thought I knew what it was like to be in love, but I didn’t. I had no idea how raw it felt, how real, how painful.

She takes my hand as I help her out of the car, and the way she looks at me…fuck. She makes my heart feel raw, exposed. It’s both thrilling and terrifying.

Why would you buy my favorite ice cream chain and the coffee shop too?” My heart begins to race, a hint of panic running down my spine. Because I want to make sure you always have access to anything you want, whenever you want. Because I need to know that any time of the day, I can get you your favorite ice cream and make you smile.

Every moment with her is different to anything else I’ve ever felt before—it’s filled with passion in a way I didn’t know existed. It’s a fulfilling kind of passion, not one born of disagreement but one that’s fueled entirely by our mutual desire to just be together. No facades, no ulterior motives.

Darling, what if I want to be the man you make all of your memories with? What if I don’t want to be the one who you’ll compare others to? What if I just want to be your one and only?” She tightens her grip on my shoulders, her eyes widening just a touch. “Archer, what are you saying?” “I’m saying that I want more, and I’m hoping that you do too.”

“Serenity, will you date me officially? Will you be mine?” She nods, the back of her fingers brushing over my cheek. “Yes. I’ve been yours for far longer than you might realize, and I don’t think that’ll ever change.”

My chest begins to ache as he holds her, calling her every term of endearment I thought was mine. I don’t even notice when Ezra wraps his arm around my shoulders, nor do I notice the conversations going around me. All I can focus on is Archer and the way everything and everyone else ceased to exist to him the moment he saw her.

Archer looks up, our eyes locking, and I stare at my boyfriend, his ex in his arms and silent apologies written all over his face. He doesn’t need to say the words for me to know we’re over.

I didn’t know what I needed until I kissed you, until I woke up with you in my arms for the very first time, your wild, unruly hair fucking everywhere.” I tuck one of her curls behind her ear, and her eyes flutter closed briefly, hiding the hint of hope I could’ve sworn I saw. “It took me a while to acknowledge it, but it was guilt that kept me from moving on, not love. I’m happy to have her back, but this changes nothing between us, Serenity. You’re still the only one I want.”

“Please look at me, darling.” Serenity lifts her face, the same ache I’m feeling reflected in her eyes. “Don’t call me that,” she says, her voice breaking. “Do you have any idea what it does to me to hear you call her darling, when I thought that name was just mine?”

he stares at me like I’m a mirage, like I’m his every dream come true. Knowing he still wants me heals a little part of me he doesn’t even realize is broken.

“You’re so beautiful,” he groans, his fingers moving faster. “There’s nothing like watching you come for me, you know that? Nothing makes me feel more powerful.”

“I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” he tells me. “Never wanted to belong to anyone the way I belong to you, Serenity.” His breath hitches when I reach between us and line his cock up. “Then show me,” I whisper. “Show me that you’re mine.”

“You have no idea how much I needed this,” he whispers, before grazing my neck with his teeth. “I think of you every second of every day, Serenity.”

“I’ve never been so desperate for anyone. Never ever have I felt like my heart is no longer mine, like it’s entirely at your mercy to do with as you please.”

He inhales sharply when I suck down on his skin right where his neck meets his shoulder. I pull back when I realize it’ll leave a mark, and all of a sudden, something dark and unpleasant rushes through me—something that makes me hate myself. “No,” Archer says, grabbing my hair and guiding me to his chest. “Mark me, darling. Right here, over my heart. It’s yours. I am yours, Serenity.” He pulls me closer, until my lips are pressed against his chest. His eyes are filled with a different kind of desire as I do just that and mark him as mine, satisfaction coursing through my body. He smiles at the dark red mark when I pull away, his eyes glittering with something I’ve never seen before. “Good girl,” he murmurs, before pulling my face to his, kissing me slowly.

I don’t know how to deal with the jealousy I feel when I don’t think I’m even entitled to it. I…” “You are,” he says, his voice breaking. “You are entitled to me. I love you, Serenity. With all I am. All I have.” I stare at him speechlessly, not even aware of the tears that have begun to stream down my face until he catches them with his thumbs. “I love your heart, your soul. I love you for who you are, every single aspect of you. I’m yours, Serenity Adesina, whether you’ll have me or not.” “I love you too,” I tell him, only to fully burst into tears at the admission. “Oh God, I love you so much, and I shouldn’t.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says, his hand moving over my back soothingly. “I’m at as much of a loss as you are, but there’s one thing I’m absolutely certain of: I won’t let you go, Serenity. I don’t ever want to go back to a life in which you aren’t mine.”

Ezra studies my face, and then he looks down at his feet. “I’m sorry, Serenity.” I almost ask him what he’s sorry for, but I don’t want to talk to him about Archer. Not when it’s clear that he doesn’t think Archer would ever choose me. I’d been hopeful when he told me that Archer seemed happier after we’d been together awhile, but I should’ve heeded his warning. I’m worried about the girl he’s seeing and what it’ll do to her to realize she’ll never have all of him. I’d dismissed it then, quietly confident in what we were building together, only to realize we set our foundations on quicksand. Now here I am, watching everything we had collapse and disappear, and I’ll have to do it with a smile on my face because this is exactly what I signed up for.

I choke back a sob as I stand back to look at it, my heart shattering in a thousand pieces. For the first time ever, painting didn’t ease my soul. It didn’t take away my tormenting thoughts. I don’t think anything ever will. Archer will forever be the man I won’t get over—the one that got away.

Her head falls back, and I turn my face to kiss her neck, needing her with an intensity I’ve never experienced. This isn’t lust—it’s desperation, a desire to feel complete again in a way only she’s ever made me feel.

She has no idea how much I need this proximity, how much I need her. Just a few of these moments are sufficient to refuel me for days on end.

She reaches for my tie and loosens it, the way she has countless times, but this time, there’s a deep sadness in her eyes that makes me wonder if this is the last time I’ll get to experience her hands on me like this.

I stare at her, taking in her resolute expression despite the tears in her eyes. There’s no changing her mind, and it fucking kills me to know she’s right. Walking away is the right thing to do, but nothing has ever felt more wrong.

“Stay,” I whisper. “Please stay.” She pulls back to look at me, her breathing uneven. “I love you,” she whispers. “I love you, and I’m sorry.” “You love me,” I repeat, bitterness bleeding into my voice as I pull out of her. “But you love her more.” My heart fucking shatters when she doesn’t refute my words, regret written all over her face.

I smile at him ruefully, silently lamenting the loss of everything I thought we’d experience together. There are so many places he probably can’t go to without thinking of Kristen, and similarly, there are so many things I’ll never be able to do without thinking of Archer. I should’ve known, even back when I made that stupid list. Archer Harrison isn’t the kind of man you forget. He isn’t someone you can walk away from without leaving part of yourself behind.