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“And what about her?” My head snaps toward the shouted accusation to find a bearded man pointing his thick finger at my face. “What about your heirs? Will you taint your royal line with the blood of an Ordinary?” My stomach twists, lungs suddenly too tight beneath the constricting fabric of my dress. Kai jerks to his feet and nearly topples the chair behind him. I stand too, readying myself to step between my Enforcer and the man testing his patience.
“… I will leave my mark upon your heart, lest you forget who’s broken it.”
Every death I’ve doled lives in the lines of these hands. And I fear who will find themselves beneath their next calloused touch.
My eyes slide to Kai, even as I slowly reach for his brother. But he doesn’t look at me. No, the Enforcer’s gaze is on the palm I’ve placed atop the king’s, growing darker with every second our skin grazes. And as we stride from the room, hand in hand, I will Kai to meet my eyes and read the message within them. Pretend.
She sleeps soundly to my right, just as she always does. Shoulder to shoulder, fabric to face, gaze to stars.
it’s Death’s shadow she wears.
My eyes fly open, only to be greeted by shadow. A figure looms over me, and I don’t hesitate before slipping my hand beneath a pillow to find the knife I’d snatched from my dinner tray. Not my first weapon of choice, but it’s probably sharp enough to provide a painful end to whoever it is that— “Pae.”
“It was just a nightmare,” he whispers, slowly lowering our joint hands until the blade tumbles onto the mattress. “You’re okay. I’m right here.” A nightmare is an understatement. That… that was torture.
“I heard you scream. And nothing… nothing has terrified me more.” I hear him swallow. Feel a swipe of his thumb across my cheekbone. “And it didn’t stop. You just kept screaming. So…” A pause. “We both know it will take more than a locked door to keep me from you.”
He had kicked the damn door down.
“Privacy?” His chuckle skitters up my spine, awakening my sleepy senses. “Darling, I’d be in this bed beside you if my brother hadn’t slipped a ring onto your finger.”
I want him desperately. Recklessly. And the embodiment of those feelings falls from my lips in the form of a single, traitorous sentence.
But don’t worry, Prince.” My fingers fiddle with a lock of inky hair falling over his forehead. “I can do plenty of damage with a shoe.” “Oh, I’m well aware.” His words are a whisper against my lips. “You are devastating, Pae.” And then he’s scooping me into his arms.
“Tonight, we pretend.”
“Not every time.” I shift, slipping off his chest to sit beside him. “Not when I’m with you.” He props himself up on an elbow, tugging at my tank until I’m leaning down toward him. “Then I’ll never leave your side.” I give him a look. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” “It’s not promises I care to keep—it’s you.”
So, I flick the tip of his nose with a soft “You’re quite the poet, Prince.” Moonlight pools in the dimple that accompanies his grin. “And you the muse, darling.”
“Then we’ll make the most of it. I will be your Enforcer. Your rival. Your secret waiting beneath the willow.”
“I also recall the game we played under this tree. And how I beat you at it.” He’s shaking his head at me. “Now that is a fond memory.” “First,” he starts coolly, “the game was a thumb war. Second, you’re full of shit, Silver Savior.”
“Fine.” I smile. “Rematch.” “Oh, my pretty Pae.” His words are a murmur against my lips. “For once, it is I who will be your undoing.”
And in this moment, I would beg him to be just that. Would give anything to live out the rest of my days under this willow and in his arms. So, I memorize every shadow of his face, every shade of this vivid fantasy before me. He kisses the pad of my thumb before the war begins.
“That’s Maria’s shop there.” I point, directing the boys’ attention to my sudden enthusiasm. “I used to steal her sticky buns and fabric before climbing up the chimney to escape.” I smile at the memory. “The sticky buns were for both of us, but the fabric was obviously for… Adena….” I trail off, but the feel of watchful eyes on me forces more words from my mouth. “So, I’ve had a lot of practice climbing up chimneys, even when I hate small spaces.” I shoot a pointed look at Kai. “Which is why I didn’t burn to death when you lit my house on fire.” “My search had to be thorough, darling,” he
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Honey. Those eyes are like honey. So similar to her sweet gaze. Suddenly, it’s Adena dying before me all over again. And all over again, I cannot save her.
“Dammit, Pae. You never follow orders, do you?” His voice is harsh, but I hear the tinge of sorrow lacing every word. I let the familiar arms cling to my waist, let Kai nearly carry me back to the coach. My unfocused gaze sweeps over the still-scrambling bodies tripping over those littering the ground. Loot is in shambles. My home is in shambles. And so is my heart.
For all they know, I died shortly after giving birth to Kitt.”
With her belly wrapped in one arm, Iris uses the other to toss the gift beneath the jewelry box’s lid. She traps the flower within the wooden walls so simply that Edric won’t spare it another thought. Instead, he will continue on until met with the end that begins in this very moment. So, when Iris cries out in pain, and a dampness spreads the covers beneath her, the end is very near for Edric Azer. At least, for that dwindling bit of warmth within him.
He had carried me up into the castle, started the fire that warmed my numb limbs. Then he’d kissed my forehead and slipped out the door, likely dealing with more pressing Enforcer duties than the crumbling queen-to-be. He watches me now, an ache in his gaze that mirrors my own. I want nothing more than to be held by him, enveloped in the comfort of his arms. He is a weakness I am not supposed to indulge in. Not in this life, at least.
“The people want to send you back into your own Trials.”
I know Death. There is something intimate about the ending of a life. Over the years, Death and I have come to share a special bond. But fear is a far less familiar feeling. One that has never gripped me as tightly as it had in that study.
Rage was a rumble in my chest that rose to my tongue, shouting that she can’t be serious. I stood before her, fought the urge to cup her face, and told her she cannot enter another set of Trials. I simply wouldn’t let her risk everything for a kingdom that would rather see her die. But I should know better than to give Paedyn Gray an order. She is not one of my soldiers, after all. No, she is so much more.
“It’s the only way,” she had said sternly, though her face was pale. “I have to prove myself to them.” “And if you die?” I’d shot back, chest heaving. Her next words still plague my thoughts, more than a day later. “Then they will have been right about me. I’m a weakness.”
But the draping white fabric is a message to this court, a reminder piercing my heart. She is a bride-to-be. But not mine. I swallow at the sight.
She steps forward then, every gaze snapping to her. The dress clings to her in a way I long to, eyes sweep over the crowd that I now desperately wish I was in. She is striking in the most formidable of ways. Sharp like the pointed stare she gives, the tongue I’ve tasted, the end of her dagger that’s worn my blood. The words that leave her lips are stern, possessing the subtlety that anger lacks. “I know I am not who you want as your queen. In fact, I did not ask for this. I’ve dreamed of nothing in this life except to survive it.” Her gaze travels around the room, bright and bold. “But I do
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And so am I as she strides, arm hooked within the king’s, out of the throne room.
Worse than the imminent danger is the constant reminder of Adena’s death. I may have survived the last set of Trials, but my light did not. My A left me to decorate the sky. And I don’t know how to live, how to survive, without her at my side.
old times.” “If it were really like old times,” Kai muses, “you would be sprawled in the dirt already.” Kitt laughs, a sound so genuine I nearly startle. It’s as though I’m suddenly back beside that fountain in the gardens, splashing a boyish prince unashamedly. “You think you could still take me, Brother? We haven’t sparred since you found a better partner.” The tips of my ears burn. “Come on, Kitt.” The Enforcer’s tone is deceptively casual. “That was during the Purging Trials. Things haven’t been like that for a long while.” Despite knowing the truth of our relationship, Kai’s nonchalance
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I can’t make out Kai’s face in the flickering torchlight, but I know gratitude paints the planes of it. “Thank you, Brother.”
“You and me, Brother.” Kitt takes a slow step back. “Always.”
“Couldn’t sleep without me?” he muses, sword glinting in the flickering light. I frown. “How did you know I was here?” “I knew you couldn’t stay away from me for much longer.” “Don’t flatter yourself.” My arms cross over the thin shirt I’m suddenly all too aware of. “How did you know?” He gives me an unsure tilt of his head. “I guess I can sense you, in a way. It sounds odd, but the darkness helps me focus. Everything is heightened.” Kai waves a hand, as if to slash through the words he’s just spoken. “I just knew.” “Hmm. Yet another perk of being Elite,” I say, my tone bittersweet.
I nod distantly, my mind a mess of fractured pieces. Lost among my thoughts, I nearly miss Kai’s sly words. “Did the burning desire to see me wake you?” I slowly steal the space between us, stepping quietly into the ring. My smile is sharp. “No. But the sudden urge to hit you did.” He looms over me, his bare chest nearly brushing mine. “If you want to put your hands on me, just say that.”
leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. I lift a hand, my fingers boldly skimming across his stomach. This seems to startle him enough to suck in a quick breath, and the sound has a satisfied smile curling my lips. The tips of my fingers trail higher, tracing every dip and groove of muscle. He seems to have stopped breathing.
My eyes lift to his, and whatever it is he sees within them has the Enforcer looking at me as though I’ve already become his queen. And some possessive part of myself aches to command him to never look away.
His sword clatters to the ground. Strong arms wrap suddenly around my waist before another drop of rain can fall from the sky. I’m being pulled closer, pressed flush against his solid body. With a tilt of my chin, he murmurs against my lips. “My pretty Pae. Tell me you missed me.” Our lips brush, and I can taste his desperation for me. I smile. My response is a swift hook of my foot behind his. With a firm tug, I accomplish something few have ever done. I send the Enforcer sprawling into the dirt. My voice drifts into the night like the cloud of dust between us. “I missed kicking your ass.”
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He attempts to pull me down with him, but I dance away from his grasp with a laugh. “I have more Trials to train for. So no more distractions.” “You started it, Gray.” He seems content to stare up at the starry sky, even as it cries steadily. “I was trying to keep my hands to myself.” “Well, don’t,” I offer. “Fight me.”
“I’m not giving up; I’m being realistic.” My words are clipped. I’m stunned by how suddenly this conversation escalated. “I could die—” He closes the distance between us, pressing rough palms against my cheeks. “So damn the Trials. Pae, let me force every person in this kingdom to their knees for you.”
“Right.” He stiffens slightly. “Pretend.”
Kai takes a step back, his head shaking. The movement is more terrifying than him swinging a sword at me. “If you want me to fight you, I won’t, Paedyn. I told you in that field of poppies how I would never do that again. That when I lay a hand on you, it would only ever be in a caress.” Raindrops drip from his lashes, but he doesn’t dare blink as he murmurs, “And I plan to keep that vow.”
“Did you sense that coming, Little Psychic?” he calls over the shoulder I’m currently slung over. I laugh despite myself, body swaying with each one of his steps. “Where are you taking me?” I’m breathless and gripping the waist of his pants for dear life. He’s quiet for several steps. “Somewhere even the future can’t find us.” I smile sadly. “The willow tree?” “The willow tree.”
“Oh, Paedyn?” I whip around, dress swishing against my ankles. Her brows lower slightly over suddenly stern eyes. “Don’t hurt him. He can’t afford to break again.”
“He was yours, entirely.” I swallow. “Not anymore.” Pretend.
Pretend that the Enforcer hadn’t tried to free me before our trek to the castle. Pretend our time spent together didn’t bring us impossibly closer. Pretend he isn’t the fate I foolishly hoped to earn.
