Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

“And if you fell now? Would it be worth it?” I reach through the window to grip the sill, my knuckles brushing her hips. “Well, I’m visiting you, aren’t I?”

“What are you doing here?” I clear my throat. “I didn’t see you yesterday. Figured you missed me.” “That’s why you climbed through my window?” She snorts. “Because I missed yo—?” I’ve moved before even realizing. My hands are on her hips, and I’m spinning her around to face me before my mouth crashes into hers. It’s incessant. Fervent. Relief.

Her body melts against mine, and a soft sound slips between her lips that has me gripping that silver hair between my fingers. I force myself to pull away, smiling at her reluctance to let me go. “Fine,” she breathes against my lips. “I might have missed you a little.”

“She was my A.” My throat tightens. “Ava was my Adena. But they don’t go far.” I gently lift her arm until she’s pressing a palm to her beating heart. “Your A lives here now.”

Her voice is a choked sound as she blinks back a wave of emotions. “Don’t leave me. Please. Especially not now, but please not ever.” “Never,” I whisper, tipping my forehead against hers. Her breath hitches. “You can’t leave me. I don’t have enough room in my heart for the both of you.” I let go of her wrist to cup the face above it instead. “Death himself couldn’t drag me from you.”

A strange sensation tugs on the corners of my consciousness, though I ignore it for the distraction lying beside me. I reach for a stray strand of silver hair and— Someone clears their throat. My hand is suddenly beneath the pillow, gripping the hilt of Paedyn’s dagger before I’ve even turned toward the sound. But when my eyes crash into a dazzling green pair, I’m startled enough to stop and stare. The queen sits stoically in one of the plushy seats beside the stone fireplace, her gaze gleaming with amusement.

ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

“I like her, you know,” she cuts in dryly. “Perhaps due to the fact that she killed your father. Because, well, let’s face it.” Her long nails click against the porcelain teacup. “He was a dick. Though, I’m a bit jealous I didn’t get to finish him off myself.”

oh thats a understatement

She nods in a slow, mocking way. “Right. Right.” Another sip of tea. “So you’re in love with your brother’s betrothed?”

GIRL

Her sharp words follow me out the door. “You know, you are quite the pretty prince. In a different life of mine, perhaps I would have kept you for myself.”

hold on girl is you cool?

My eyes wander over my shoulder quickly, meeting the rumpled bed sheets I rolled from. I only hope Kai did as well—long before the queen slipped into my room.

tuh

“You know,” he says genuinely, “I can’t think of a single reason you’d wish to escape me.” “Your arrogance is astounding as always, Kai.” “Thank you.” I cut him a glance. “That wasn’t a compliment.” “Then don’t say my name, and I won’t thank you for the sound.”

“She asked if Kitt knew about… us.” I stiffen. “Us?” “Yes, us.” Confusion crinkles his brow. “Everything going on between you and me. She saw me in your bed, Pae.” “I know, but”—I swallow before hurling the harsh truth at him—“there is no us. There can never be an us, Kai. Not really.”

why would you even say that-

He’s shaking his head now, and the bite in his voice makes me wince. “And I’ll watch you two look down at me from the dais, nothing more than a weapon you can wield just like the king you killed had.”

kai.

My voice settles into something stern. Hurt hardens me, and I spew the damning truth I’ve avoided for so long. “What did you think we were going to do? Hide for the rest of our lives beneath the willow tree?”

paedyn youre doing a lotttt

“I’m s-sorry. You know I never wanted any of this—” “Well, it doesn’t matter what either of us wanted, does it?” He leans back, expression cold. “It was all a fantasy anyway. Kitt is who you, the Silver Savior, were destined for.” I watch him stand to his feet in one swift movement. “I was nothing more than a distraction.” I follow quickly after him, my expression hardening at the mocking nickname. The words I hurl at his stony facade are far from the truth, but hurt sharpens them on my tongue all the same. “Maybe you’re right.” “You’ll find that I typically am, Majesty.” My chest heaves, mere inches from his. It’s anger at our cruel fates that has me lashing out. “Maybe I should distance myself from this distraction.” A muscle twitches in his jaw. “Maybe you should.” “Fine.” “Fine.”

now im tearing up... can yall stop? it feels like my parents are fighting?

The king grins. Marrying Myla Rowe will earn him power. Earn him a son he can mold into a weapon. This is all it takes for the king to claim the child as his own. All the power. All the glory. “I accept your proposal,” Edric says to his adviser, eyes still pinned on the strength squirming in his Silencer’s arms. “He will be mine.”

hold up hold up if thats kai that means that kai isnt even related to kitt

It’s been unbearably hot the past few days, though the unbearable part is likely due to my lack of her. I run a hand through my ruffled hair, still angered by our argument days ago. The hours have dragged on without her to brighten them, leaving me with nothing to do but gamble away my shillings and drink enough rum to convince myself it tastes good.

“Hi.” I spin slowly toward the uncharacteristically timid sound. “I figured you were too stubborn to come talk to me first.” Paedyn crosses her arms. “And I figured you were smart enough to beg for my forgiveness first. But”—she lifts her hands into the air between us—“here we are.” I sigh. “I’ve missed you, Gray.”

The warning has only just escaped my lips when the ship lurches violently. I lunge for Paedyn, managing to throw an arm across her waist while the other grapples for the railing.

My voice is an awed murmur. “It’s found us.” Wood splinters beside my head. I throw myself over Paedyn, shielding her from the showering of jagged pieces. A looming darkness falls over us as the ship bucks with the sudden impact.

“What the hell…,” Paedyn whispers, her terror a foreign sound. I push her back, covering her body with my own. “Stay behind me!”

“Are you coming with me?” she asks pointedly. “No, I’m staying out here and—” “Then so will I,” she insists. “I won’t sit and wait to learn of your fate, Kai.” I cup her face, urging her to understand. “Please, Pae, don’t fight me—” A screeching roar echoes all around us, drowning out every other sound. I’m suddenly being pushed to the ground, Paedyn’s body rolling over mine. We tumble across the deck, narrowly escaping the beast’s slamming body.

My lungs burn. I fumble for the Tele’s power, reach for that rope. I’m dizzy, floating in a dark abyss. I strain for salvation. Beg for life. Beg to live it with her.

oh thats so good

sea. A hysterical sigh of relief sounds from above me, and I look up through sea-soaked hair to find Paedyn leaning over the railing above, tears streaming down her cheeks. For her, I pull myself up that rope. My arms burn, as do my lungs, but I push the pain aside. With raw palms, I set my feet against the ship’s belly and scale it. By the time my arms hook over the railing, Paedyn is practically pulling me over the edge.

We stare at each other for a long moment, content to ignore the beast raging behind us. I fear it would take much more than that to pull my gaze from her. With a choked sob, she presses her face into my neck, wiping tears across my skin. “I thought I lost you,” she whispers, half laughing. I lift a numb hand to her soaking hair, running fingers I can’t feel through it. With chattering teeth, I manage, “You c-can’t get rid of me that easily, Gray.”

She cups my face, head shaking and smile trembling. “Damn fate, and duty, and every other word meant to keep us apart.” Tears slip from those blue eyes I would happily drown in. “I want to hide with you beneath the willow tree. You are the secret I will spend the rest of my life keeping.” Her voice quivers beneath the weight of such a promise. “Us.” That alone is enough to have tears springing to my eyes. So I nod. Her face in my hands, my heart in hers.

She looks over at me then, and I remember just how much I missed her doing something as simple as acknowledging my existence. A small smile pulls at her lips. She’s breathtaking in this light, as though her hair is a collection of the moon’s rays. “You forget, Kai.” Her fingers wrap tightly around the spear. “This is my Trial.” And then she’s running.

Every beast can be defeated. A creature. A Trial. A king.

clock it

This should not upset me, their closeness with each other. They are engaged, after all, and speaking civilly is the tamest of actions. But I cannot seem to shake the gnawing envy in my gut, the jealousy that flares with every look shared and word exchanged. It’s tiresome, this turmoil between love for my brother and love for his betrothed.

She looks ready to avenge Adena right here and now. Staring at this version of the Silver Savior, I fear for those who make her feel nothing. No remorse. No compassion. No worry for her stained soul.

I catch Paedyn’s eye, aware of what it is she sees. We are so very free in this moment—laughing together like old times and living like life never got in the way. Cheeks flushed and duties forgotten, we sit here as brothers who bear no titles. “I

“Tomorrow,” she insists sweetly, “we will pick the flowers for the ceremony.” Groaning, I tip my head back against the wall. “If I pick now, will I be free of these decisions?” “I suppose, but—” “Perfect,” I say cheerily. “Roses.” Ellie gives me a knowing look. “Is that just the first flower that came to mind?” “Maybe, but it seems fitting,” I defend. “I admire the rose and its thorns. Even the prettiest things can bite.” Slowly, Ellie nods in agreement. “Then roses it is.”

Understanding dawns, so blindingly clear I have to blink. “You’re the boy. The one Adena was seeing during the Trials.”

makotoooo hiii

She was my A. But she was his Dena.

“I haven’t…” Now I’m panting. “I haven’t seen her since the cellar.” Kitt manages a shrug among the swiping of our weapons. “I’m surprised.” I block his blow and stare between the crossed blades at my brother’s chilled features. “And why would that surprise you?” He pushes away. “You know why.” “Enlighten me,” I challenge. “Because you love her!” The rough admittance seems to startle even him.

oh-

I think he’s trying to keep me away from you, slowly distance us. Maybe he wants you as badly as I do, but not at the price of losing me. He wants us both. I know the feeling. Now, please entertain me, darling. I’m bored. What am I to do if not count your freckles? Your Cocky Bastard

Just know that if I could do it all over again, I would have run from that poppy field with you when we had the chance.

(We need to find you a hobby that does not include counting my freckles. How many are there again? Twenty-three?) Your Pae

its 28 boo

As for these wedding plans, it sounds to me like you’re getting cold feet, Gray. We could still make a run for it, you know. Head back out onto the Shallows. Find Astrum and keep sailing. Just say the word. (Twenty-eight, darling. But I could do a recount if you like.) Your Cocky Bastard

My next note is handed off in person. I pass the Enforcer on my way to dine with his brother.

oh thats crazy

You think I would not beg to run away with you? My duty may be to the king, but my heart, Pae, is wherever you are. It is in the palm of your hands, the pad of your thumb. So if you leave, I will follow. If you stay, I will bow. Because there has never been a moment when you did not own the only piece of me that mattered—loving you made me matter. And I ache to be full again.

I’ve never witnessed beauty look so content in its brokenness. Unabashedly, he pleads for me. Unflinchingly, he lays every mask at my feet.

A crash behind us has me whirling toward the door. An Imperial pants in the doorway, his red hair rippling in the firelight. “What the hell?” Lenny’s eyes dart between us. “Paedyn, you need to go right—” “Quiet, gingersnap,” Blair huffs. Her eyes never leave mine as she throws his body against the wall, pinning him there with her mind. “The girls are talking.”

“Where is she?” I shove Imperials aside, quickening my pace down the cramped hallway. Smoke hangs thickly in the air, wafting from a charred room that Hydros huddle around. They do their best to tame what is left of the flames with waves of water. Lenny is raising his hands in surrender before I’ve even reached him. “She’s fine—” “Take me to her,” I order.

Opening it, Lenny gestures me inside where I’m greeted by several gazes. But it is only hers I search for. Paedyn sits on a stool, clothing charred and hair blackened. Burns run down the length of her body, pink and blistered. A bloody gash sits right above her brow, making her flinch when a smile reaches the eyes beneath. I rush over to her, not caring who bears witness to my worry. “Are you all right?”

I’m not even surprised when she bursts into my room. I’ve been up for hours, pacing in the darkness and hoping she will stride in to brighten it. “Where’s your sword? I need to hit something.” A ray of sunshine, this one.

She melts against me, soothed by the touch and many murmurs against her hair. But when my body goes rigid, she lifts her tear-streaked face toward mine. “What is it?” Power bubbles beneath my skin, one so familiar I almost don’t notice it. “Kitt’s coming.” “What?” She blinks before peeling herself away from me. “Here? Now?” I lower my voice. “Yes, and quickly.”

my whole body just jerked like im the one that's being sneaky LMAO

Kai. Frantically, I scan that glass box for any sign of his familiar figure. A lock of tousled black hair. A glimpse of those damn dimples. A flash of that cocky smile. “Bring out the opponent!” My whole body numbs at the king’s words. Gasps ripple through the crowd, shock slipping between the fingers that press to gaping mouths. I won’t turn around. I can’t turn around. The crowd erupts with a sudden, sickening wave of excitement when the king’s voice booms over the arena. “An Ordinary versus every Elite. The ultimate test.” My head is shaking. I shut my eyes, squeezing out the cruel world beyond. This is a nightmare. This is pretend. Footsteps behind me grow louder atop the shifting sand. I press a hand to my pounding heart, feeling the rapid rise and fall of my chest. This is pretend. This is— “Paedyn.” I can feel the exact moment my heart shatters. It’s when I turn, my eyes crashing into ones well memorized. When mist meets the deepest sea. When a Shadow faces its Flame. When inevitability meets its end. When I stare into the face of what it is I love most.

the look of absolute shock on my face broo

So when my gaze locks with a particular gray one, I know I’ve found him.

My forehead meets his, and I murmur the words I thought would take him away from me. It’s a confession I was too cowardly to voice—and now it will become my biggest regret. But I whisper it now, over and over. “I love you, Kai. I love you. I love you. I love you.”