Fearless (The Powerless Trilogy, #3)

by Lauren Roberts

“But why are you so worried about Paedyn? Isn’t that Kitt’s job? They’re engaged, after all.”

whos gonna tell him?

I suppose the truth leans more toward the latter, but reducing my feelings for Paedyn to something as juvenile as a scandal is absurdity.

That is when the doors swing open. Everything fades away, forgotten in her presence.

Her hands. There, gripped between scarlet-stained fingers, hangs a crown.

Her eyes meet mine, and it feels like relief. She reflects my sentiment with a slight softening of her expression. But it doesn’t last long. It can’t—not with this audience. So I let her go. Let her pretend. Let her morph back into the queen she will become. All it takes is a single slow nod of my head. She understands—and meets the king’s gaze with a newfound fortitude.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the court, it seems Paedyn Gray has successfully completed her first Trial.” And with that, Paedyn’s lips lift. She raises the crown then, matching its bloody and mud-streaked appearance. I smile before she’s even done it. Wide enough to show those damn dimples she loves to hate. Yes, I smile when she pushes the crown onto her head.

I turn to find Andy looking alarmingly serious. “Don’t steal her away from him when they finally get a moment together.” Unspoken words hang in the air between us. The corner of my mouth twitches. “I don’t need to steal her away.” “No,” she says smoothly. “You just kick down her door when she isn’t answering you.”

oh you is so federal

He runs a thumb over the muddy diamond. Then his gaze lifts to mine, calculating in a way that surprises me. But his next words are far more startling. “After that, we’ll ensure the ring finds its way back onto the correct finger.” My heart stutters against bruised ribs. I look down, eyes snapping to the ring still decorating my right hand. Still exactly where Kai had left it the night before my Trial. I never put it back.

YOU SHOULD SEE THE LOOK ON MY FACE

I sag against the wall when he strides back into the throne room. Kai is on me in an instant. His arm is sure around my waist, breath warm against my ear. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Pae.”

that nigga aint wait one second lmaoo

“Turn the handle for me, would you, darling?”

“If you look like hell,” he whispers with a sly grin, “then I’m fortunate to be going there.”

“Ellie, get me a pail of warm water and a cloth, please.” He says this as if she hasn’t just seen what passed between us mere moments ago. As my maid—I suppose it doesn’t matter. But as my friend—I’ll have some explaining to do.

I sit there awkwardly with his hands now braced on either side of my legs. Our eyes meet, mine concerned and his far too content. I give him a look that I hope screams, Keep your hands to yourself until she leaves, which I’m quite certain he understands because it’s the complete opposite he does next. With a smirk that makes me want to simultaneously kiss and hit him, he slides calloused palms down my thighs. My weak warning look doesn’t stop his slow search of my legs. I can’t help but smile back at him, and he seems to take that as a sign of encouragement.

“So much for pretending, Prince.” He dips the cloth into the pail, shrugging at my words. “I’ll have the rest of my life to pretend with you. But for now, I needed to keep you alert.” “You were distracting me,” I breathe, eyes dropping to the blood coating my hands. My stained palms are quickly covered by the damp cloth he places over them. “And I will happily be your distraction from pain. For as long as you need.”

“And what did you lose yourself to?” “Duty. Loyalty.” His lips quirk. “A silver-haired pain in the ass.” I lean back on my palms, studying him. “And you think that’s worth it? Losing yourself to an Ordinary?” As he drops the cloth from my face, I can’t quite read his mixture of emotions. “Between the two of us, you’re the only one who seems to care about that fact.”

I place a hand to his cheek, turning his face toward me. “Look at me, Kai. Look at what you chose to lose yourself to. I may have seemed strong in that throne room, but I will always be an impostor among the truly powerful.” He’s shaking his head, hiding his gaze from me. Both of my hands are cupping his face now. “I worry about you, Malakai.” The sound of his full name has those gray eyes fluttering closed.

“Pae.” His voice is ragged. “I would lose my life for you before finding something else worth living for.” His fingers weave into my hair, slide along the back of my neck. “You are my inevitable. In life and in death.”

You are my inevitable. The kiss deepens, and with it, a plea with each press of my mouth. I love you. I tell him in the sigh he draws from my lips. In every slow caress across his skin. In every pounding beat of the heart that belongs to him. I love you. He smells of pine and spice and long nights under the willow. I love you. He tastes like a secret I wish to scream, a word on the tip of my tongue that will never be mine to utter. So I say his name instead, as if I could claim him so easily. As if I’m not thinking of three damning words when I say it. I love you.

Edric

SIGH.

“She is powerless.”

oh! are you thinking what im thinking?

“But I enjoy seeing you giddy like this. It reminds me of Adena and her boy from Loot.” My whole body stiffens beneath her hand currently dragging a dark line of kohl atop my lashes. “What are you talking about?” I hear the hesitance in her voice, the quiet sadness that remains there. “That’s right. She never told you, did she?” She lets the words linger. “There was this boy she would sneak off to see while you were in the Trials.”

makoto!

As I turn back to smile at the begrudging king I’ve dragged along, my gaze snags on a familiar shade of purple. Kitt nearly slams into me with how abruptly I plant my feet. An emotion more potent than rage begins to boil within me at the sight of that lilac hair. Kitt’s mouth is moving, but I don’t hear a word that falls from it. Instead, I’m standing at the edge of the dance floor, staring at Adena’s murderer.

now yall shouldve known better than to have them in the same place now et her get her

I’ve nearly reached Blair by the time her gaze finally deigns to land on me. And I smile when it widens with an emotion that might just be fear. I lunge, teeth bared, and arms outstretched— Arms wrap around my waist, tugging me back from her. I let out a cry of frustration as I fight against the familiar hold. Kai’s lips are at my ear before my feet have even met the floor. “Easy, Pae. You need to calm down.”

mannnn put us down

She’s lost her shoes. Well, she had. That was before I’d scoured the ballroom for them, knowing Paedyn would not. Seeing that she flung them off her feet with a declaration of discomfort, I’m sure she was quite content to never find them. Now, swaying in time to the music, she hardly notices the heels hanging from my fingers. I lean against the pillar, watching her with a smile that has rarely left my lips all evening.

oh yeah she letting loose

She’s hypnotizing—every laugh, every smile, every sway of her hips. Her cheeks are flushed pink beneath the strands of silver hair falling over her face.

I push off the pillar, halting her arm before the liquid can slip down her pretty throat. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I may need to cut you off for the night.” Her eyebrows rise comically, every movement exaggerated. “You cutting me off?” She leans closer, tilting her head at me. “That seems a bit ironic.” “Trust me, darling.” I sigh. “I’m well aware.”

“Aren’t you the one who loves to get drunk at these boring balls?” With her free hand, she shoves a finger into my chest. “Then you’d beg for a dance with me. And occasionally unlace my dress afterward.” I chuckle at her sly grin. “You know why I did that.” “Yes, but what I don’t know,” she says innocently, “is why you haven’t since.” “Are you…” I shake my head at her in disbelief. “Are you flirting with me, Gray?” She giggles in a way I’ve never heard before but would beg to again. “I’m simply thinking out loud.”

oh my

“Someone has to look after you.” She takes a step closer. “I have a fiancé.” “And yet…” I dangle the heels in front of her. “I’m the one carrying your shoes. Though, I am worried about what it is you’ll be taking off next.”

“Oh, I’ll still have my eyes on you when I’m drunk, darling. And that is exactly the problem.”

“Let’s test that self-control of yours, Enforcer,” she croons, handing her own champagne to me. I sigh before sipping generously from her glass. “Is that not what you’ve been doing since the day we met?” She clicks her tongue. “I won’t be charmed by your pretty words, Prince.” The corner of my mouth curls into a wicked smile. “Seems a bit late for that, doesn’t it?”

“I want to dance,” she declares, face flushed. I slip my hands into the pockets of my dark pants. “Well, you’ll have to ask me properly.” “And what makes you think I want to dance with you?” “I can’t think of a reason you wouldn’t want to, actually.”

I’m not sure what compels me to say it. Even the words taste bitter. “I wish they were my biggest concern then, too. But I was busy being cut open by our father.”

why did you even just say that-

“Are those her shoes?” I follow Kitt’s gaze to where the heels dangle from my hooked fingers. My laugh is muffled by the hand I run down my face. “She took them off about two glasses of champagne ago.” The king’s gaze crawls over my shoulder. “Speak of the devil.” I turn slowly toward the dance floor, and there she is, striding toward us with a dazzling smile between rosy cheeks. I’m breathless at the sight of her, doomed by the hope of having her. It’s a beautiful ruin, a devastating devotion. This girl holds my heart in her hands, could crush it between her fingers and still have me thanking her for the touch. And I hold her shoes.

Because I’ve set my sights on something equally as fun. The boys lean against a pillar, black suits stark beside the marble stone and— And I can’t focus on anything else because, holy shit, they look good. I can feel my smile growing as I walk toward them in as straight of a line as I can manage. They are a pretty pair, the Azer brothers. And I have the rest of my life to spend with them. Married to one and in love with the other.

“Me? Or Kai?” I think I hear myself giggle. “Yes.” And with that, I’m grabbing them both by the arm. I don’t bother trying to comprehend their persistent protests as I drag them toward the dance floor.

KATHERINE PIERCE WHOOO?

“Shh, I’m making a decree,” I scold. Kitt might have smiled. “We’re listening, Paedyn.” I like that he said my name. That feels like progress. I clear my throat, ignoring the many wide gazes surrounding, and— Hmm. I feel like I should be taller for this. Establish my strength and such. So where the hell are my heels when I actually need them? “I declare,” I say slowly, my spine straightening, “a dance between the three of us. Unified as one.” I don’t even give them the chance to argue. How very queenly of me.

I look down to my right. Kai—black hair curling over his brow, eyes bright, and dimples that I curse beneath my breath. But above all, love. It lingers in his gaze, in his touch, down to the very curve of that smile I know belongs to me alone. The room spins around me, but it’s him I focus on. Him I cling to. Long after our dance and long into the next life.

I notice what is hooked around his fingers, dangling from the hand beneath my knees. “You found my shoes!” He whispers the three-worded secret. “You found my shoes for me.” Another murmured declaration of devotion. Tears prick my eyes. “… you found my shoes for me.” He says he loves me. Again and again.

“I wouldn’t give him too much credit,” I grumble from beneath the sheets. “It’ll go to his head.”

“When did I get back to my room last night?” “Nearly five in the morning,” he states. “Kai carried you up here.”

He points to the bedside table, drawing my attention to what sits there, steaming in the sunlight. I hadn’t noticed the bowl in my foggy state. “Kai said you might want some of that. Again, he knows you rather well, so I took his word for it.”

“I’m just happy you’re feeling better. You were very out of it when Prince Kai dropped you off last night.” I feel my cheeks redden. “Yes, not my finest moment.” “He insisted on staying in here with you.” She glances over at me bashfully. “Said he would sit in that chair until he was sure you were asleep.” I swallow. “And did he?” “Yes.” Her voice is quiet. “And long after.”

“Paedyn will inform Izram of our opened borders and negotiate peace…” Kitt continues his speech, but I hear none of it. No, my eyes land on Kai’s before running over his rigid body. Fear pulls at his features, and when he dares to meet my gaze, I’m forced to once again wonder why I ever bother looking at anyone else.

A muscle feathers in his jaw. I can see the anger seeping out from beneath the unbothered mask he’s slipped on. So he looks away. He turns. He strides from the throne room. And I can feel myself beginning to drift without him to anchor me.

“I have faith that Paedyn can do this. And traveling to Izram will impress the people far more than even finding that crown.”

did we ask you?

It’s the first thing she’s said since striding into this study and taking a seat beside the fireplace. At the sound of Paedyn’s voice, I turn to look at her, finding those blue eyes already pinned on me.

“And the Shallows?” I ask, exasperated. “The things that lurk within it?” I’m suddenly bracing my palms on the desk, leaning forward as I say, “Kitt, you know that Jax’s parents died in a shipwreck over that sea. That was the very last time anyone has publicly tried to make the trek.” “I know.” Kitt’s voice is suddenly stern. “Of course I remember what happened to Jax’s parents. But times have changed. Ships have evolved. Teles and Hydros will be on board. Extra precautions have been made.” He pauses. “Paedyn will be safe.”

im convnced kitt tryna get her killed

“Are you up for this journey, Paedyn?” “I didn’t realize I had a choice,” she answers earnestly. “But if this is what the people need from me…” Easel nods solemnly at her words. “Then I will do it,” she finishes.

i just dont feel like she has to prove herself to them ppl tho

“I’m going with her.” There is not a hint of hesitancy in my voice. It’s a demand, a compromise I won’t negotiate. Even worse, I don’t care if my worry for her seeps into the words. I will follow her to the bottom of the sea if I must. “Kai, you can’t be serious—” Kitt starts, sounding betrayed.

period & also kitt shut yo ass up

“What do you think that crew will do to their Ordinary queen?” My voice drops as I murmur, “It wouldn’t surprise me if they tried to throw her overboard the second that ship reaches open water. Call it a freak accident.”

good point