Unloved (The Undone, #2)

by Peyton Corinne

“All I have to do is ask?” she asks, raising her hand to where I my lips had just been. I nod. “All you have to do is ask.”

but she’s the only thing I want to need.

The shame I carry is protection as much as it is a prison.

To be loved is to be seen.

“Ro,” he breathes with a smile. “You’re here.” You’re here, in that gentle, happy tone that makes me feel wanted and needed.

I swallow the lump in my throat, demanding myself to be strong, for him. So he can share this piece of himself without having to comfort me.

We’ve both danced around the other’s hurt, both of us desperate only to make the other feel happy—even if that meant ignoring the bad. But this is important. I want him to see me as a soft place to land.

She is so perfect, smart and gentle and kind.

Her brain, her kindness—that’s why I want her. But God, her body has me ready to drop to my knees and stay there, staring at her like a work of art, never getting my fill.

“Rosalie,” I breathe, swallowing loudly. “You’re so beautiful.”

Loving Rosalie Shariff would be the easiest thing I’ve ever done—I know, because I’m already doing it. I think I’ve loved her since the day she stood up for me in that conference room. As a friend first, something I’ve never had, but now it’s more.

It’s overwhelming, suddenly hard to swallow or even look at her. So I turn her around and wash her back reverently. I can’t stop myself from pressing a kiss into her back, right at the top of her spine. I think loving you would be the greatest thing in my life.

If I’m the one you want to do these things with, then the only thing that’ll stop us is you, because we’re in this together. But you’re in control of our direction, Ro.”

And he’s apologizing because so many people have made him think he isn’t good at this part—that he’s not worth anything other than sex. Like he doesn’t even deserve the opportunity to try.

“No, you don’t have to, I can call an Uber—” “I was already heading out. Besides…” He shrugs a little. “I’m, like, a five-star car service at this point.”

Always the designated driver

“Sometimes the people we love most hurt us the easiest, even if they don’t mean to.”

“And do you forgive them?” “Yeah. At least… for her. I’ll always forgive her.” He grips the steering wheel harder. “Don’t think I could hold a grudge against her if I tried.”

“Why?” “Why what?” “Why keep trying when it hurts?” I nearly choke on the words, but Bennett only grants me a sad smile, rubbing his mouth a little as he turns down South College. “Because they’ve been disappointed by too many people,” he says. “And I won’t be one of them.” He pauses and heaves a heavy sigh. “And… she deserves it.”

Matt needs someone who stays, who is willing to prove that he is worth it all. That he deserves good things in his life.

Does it piss Kane off that everyone assumes he’s the one trying to fight?

“Just fucking hit me, asshole.” “Sure,” Kane smirks, grabbing my collar and jerking me forward. “But it won’t make you feel any better. Trust me.” “Yeah, yeah.” “I’m serious,” Toren says, jerking me again.

“I’ve been doing this for years.” “And?” “And what? Still feels like I got shot in the fucking stomach and I’m bleeding out.” He lands a hit square to my abdomen, but I tense, seeing it coming. “It never stops, and it never hurts less.” And then, Kane lets it go.

“Whatever you did,” Kane snaps, all the enjoyment from the fight rapidly fading. “Fix it.” He leaves me lying there, the dark threat of his words hovering over me.

I love her. I do—and it’s more than that; I admire her, every piece that makes her my Rosalie. “Okay,” I say, nodding

Having her in my arms has always been healing, like something soft pressing away the lingering cuts that I’ve never managed to patch.

There’s no pressure to perform, to be what Ro wants me to be, because what she wants is me.

With or without the sex. With or without the hockey. She thinks I’m smart and kind and a good person. And, as hard as it is to admit, she’s the first one to really see me like that. If I’m honest with myself, this is the first time I feel comfortable and excited to give myself over entirely.

The effect on Ro is always worth it.

I’m certain there will be a day Ro will take charge of her own pleasure. When she’ll be completely unafraid to ask for what she wants. But until then, I am happy to lead her. To show her that I want her to want things, to ask for anything. For her to feel good.

Signed Matty—not Freddy. He’s mine, in that way. To everyone else he might be Freddy, smiling and joking at his own expense. To me, he is Matty, or Matt—walls down, the real him.

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” he says slowly. “But this is how I feel. I want to date you, officially. And I don’t want you to feel confused about where I stand with you. And…” His voice softens, quieter in the space as he looks down. Like he’s embarrassed. “And I don’t want to be confused about how you feel. I don’t want to play games.”

He’s embarrassed to ask for anything more, because no one has ever given that to him.

“I just want to be clear about how I feel.” “I want to be with you. I would love to be your girlfriend. And I want to be clear about that, too.”

“So then, we promise not to ever make each other feel that way.” He hesitates for a moment, searching for the words. “To be… careful with each other?” Matt says it all as if it’s as simple as breathing. And maybe it is. “Yeah. Careful with each other.” I smile and squeeze his hands in mine, raising one to my mouth to kiss it. Just because I can.

“I think you are one of the best people I’ve ever known. And I think it would be almost too easy to fall in love with you.”

The truth is, I’d just stand here with her for as long as she needed. But my girl is fierce and determined in a way not many really know or appreciate.

Every word she says settles in my soul, building something new around the soft, damaged parts of my heart that have felt unlovable for too long.

I hear the words she doesn’t say, too: I will not abandon you. Your heart is safe with me. No games.

“Ro?” “Matt?” “I, um… You’re really pretty.”

I have real friends—people who care about me. Sadie, Matt, Rhys, Bennett. Real people who support me. Who like me exactly as I am.

I can be whoever I want to be.

My smile is killing me, so wide my cheeks hurt. “I was your first kiss?” She might as well have told me I won the lottery, or the Stanley Cup. She nods shyly.

This girl who cares for me, defends me, likes me—not for my body or skill, but for me. For who I am. With Rosalie Shariff, I am unequivocally myself, maybe for the first time.

The way Archer grieved my mom was how I imagined one would grieve the loss of their soulmate.

It shouldn’t matter that my dad’s never been a father to me because Archer is here. And he would’ve been my dad, if I’d let him.

I am in love with Matt Fredderic.

“I love you,” I say.

“I think falling in love with you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

“I love you, Rosalie,”

“I love you, Matty,”