Unloved (The Undone, #2)

by Peyton Corinne

Why did I do that? What made me so desperate to be enough for him that I continued to bend and shrink myself into the box he wanted to put me in?

So many of my pieces, the things that make me me, are gone, chipped away so that I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel lost. Floating without a tether.

“Because I wish someone had stopped me before I got lost and broken. And… because I care about you. You’re my friend, Ro.”

Because I’m starting to think that Ro’s like me. That she doesn’t want to be alone.

“I’m glad I’m your friend.”

I think… I think you’re amazing, Matt. You’re a good guy.”

He reaches for my backpack to sling over his other shoulder. It makes my entire body feel warm—not because the action is inherently romantic, but because it is gentle and kind. Something I want, desperately.

But I think it’s more the Matt Fredderic Effect. He makes everything ten times better.

No. It’s not about what he looks like at all. It’s him, just as he is, like a magnet pulling forever at my focus until all I can see is him.

Tyler makes me feel small and naive, silly. Sadie makes me happy, but with her there is always the weight of responsibility. The need to care for her is ingrained in our friendship. But Matt is different.

Maybe I was wrong. Because it seems like Sadie looks at him in the exact same way, careful and intense. Like they both watch over each other, constantly.

But Ro is good and kind. And if she is protective of Sadie, if she loves her this much, then perhaps there is more beneath the surface.

Or do you want to believe that because Ro loving Sadie despite her flaws means she could love you as her friend? In spite of your flaws?

She steals one of my crusts from the pile I made her after lying about hating the crusts, and dunks it in the garlic sauce.

but no one understands that he’s lonely.”

“To be loved is to be seen—and she’s the first person to really see him. That’s why they fall in love.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m not so amazing, once you get to know me.”

“No, don’t. I’m a giant.” I smile slightly. “You’re tall. But I’m taller.” “And stronger,” she breathes, snuggling closer as I walk into her room. I feel like preening, puffing my chest a little. “Yeah, princess. And stronger.”

“If you aren’t having fun, tell him you want to go home. He’ll bring you right back.” My mom’s voice reverberates in my ears. But I don’t want to go home. I want Dad to like me.

She laughs, and it feels like she’s stitching together pieces of me I didn’t know were torn—the

Just like everything else when it comes to Ro, it’s so real.

since our connection, our friendship, is still somewhat secret. But I don’t mind it. It feels like for now, it’s just ours. Nothing our friends can taint as long as it’s just ours. They’re all so busy, too wrapped up in their own dramas to pay any real attention to us anyway.

I think I’m in love with her—not even romantically, but on some soul level. I feel devoted to her.

I’m sure the guys on the team bus think music is thumping through my ears. But it’s the voice of my favorite girl in the world.

Seeing you look dreamily at shirtless men on book covers might be my new favorite pastime. Besides.” I shrug and look away from her. “I might’ve grabbed some audiobook CDs while we were there, so I could read your favorites.”

Instead, I hold her hand to my chest over my heart like she’ll feel it beating and know how I feel for her. The immeasurable level of admiration for her gentle, glimmering heart that she wears on her sleeve so that everyone always knows how much they’re seen and loved and cared for.

I kiss her.

“Nothing about what just happened is embarrassing to me. It was incredible—you are incredible.

because not for a second have I forgotten a conversation with Matt Fredderic—let alone one as sensitive and important as that one. The one that told me Matt isn’t all simpering smiles and class clown romanticisms, that he’s a boy with a heart I’m starting to think is softer than my own easily broken one.

“It was like no matter what I did I always managed to do something wrong—to mess up. And I was never perfect enough. Never smart enough or sophisticated enough.

But Freddy is more protective of every other person in the world than he will ever be of himself.

I don’t want you to see me differently.” The confession is raw as it falls from my lips that still tingle from his kiss. “Never.”

Sadie may be the queen of attitude and seeming not to care, but she cares a lot.

Freddy is warmth and sunlight, shining and shimmering across ocean-blue water. The kind you want to bask in. His gaze is like heat on my skin. And he’s always reaching out to touch some part of me—physically affectionate in a way that has nothing to do with attraction.

“Hey, Rosalie,” he breathes in my ear when he’s close enough. “Hey, Matty.”

Not even tipsy, but completely drunk on his presence. It’s almost too easy to bask in the warmth that is Matt. It would be so easy to love him, I think.

Freddy never makes anyone feel like an outsider, I’m realizing. He’s kind with everyone. He’s attractive, physically, yes, but he’s truly attractive because of how he treats those around him.

“I wish I was smart like you. You’re amazing.”

“You’re amazing, Matt,”

“You’re so smart and creative and funny. You’re amazing.”

He’s smiling so I smile back. Easy as breathing.

But I want Sadie to have fun for once. Real fun that makes her feel full and not empty afterward. Rhys is good for her. Love is good for her.

Ro’s so beautiful that seeing her always feels like I’ve been checked into the boards by some massive defenseman, breath knocked clean out of me.

“You’re so perfect, so selfless. You do everything for everyone around you—and

“Hey, hey, hey.” I smooth her hair back from her face over and over. “It’s killing me to see you cry, princess. Please.” “I’m s-sorry,” she splutters, words mangled and caught up in sobs. “Don’t apologize, love, just tell me what I can do to fix it. What’s wrong?”

Everything she says is enthralling to me.

And… I didn’t want you to be alone.” Not now… not ever, if I can help it.

“It’s why I started going by Ro, instead of Rosalie. It was easier for him to say.”

You’re the most amazing, wonderful person I’ve ever met, and sometimes I nearly make myself sick over what I’ll do without you when this is over between us. In my dreams, I take care of you the way you take care of other people, and you’re relaxed and calm. And before bed, you tell me how easy it is to love me. I’m starting to think I’d give up anything, even hockey, for that life with you.

But something about the way she’s looking at me, wide hazel eyes and a little soft smile, makes me want to be different. Makes me wish I was someone different.