The Deepest End of Love (The Brightest Light #3)

by Lisina Coney

To everyone who struggles with self-doubt. You deserve all the happiness and success you dream of. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise—not even yourself.

I’ve always found it interesting, the concept of soulmates. How, by chance or fate, you’ll meet a seemingly insignificant person who will end up becoming your entire universe.

“How did you know Daddy was your soulmate?” I’d always ask, holding my breath until she gave me the answer I still find so magical to this day. She’d smile at me, adoration written across her face. “Because my heart filled with this intense, bright light. And I knew I didn’t want to live another day without him by my side.”

“It takes real talent, Oliver, to cheat on your girlfriend and make yourself look like the victim.” “I am a victim.” “Of what? Stupidity?”

“If it isn’t my favorite criminal.”

“Are the vegetables trying to communicate with you? Should we hold a séance?” I try not to smile, making a point to glare at him. “Go ahead. See if we can contact your dead sense of humor.”

“Thank you for talking to me tonight,” she says in a quiet voice. “And I’m sorry I wasted your time.” “Talking to you is never a waste of time, Lila.”

Today, I’m tired of feeding my inner demons. Today, I choose to let the light win.

Why is her every move so damn mesmerizing?

Throughout the years, I’ve learned to ignore the attention. Sure, I’m grateful for it because I want to bring awareness to what I’m working on, but personal praise isn’t my driving force. So why am I so bent out of shape now that Lila is depriving me of hers?

“It’s going to feel uncomfortable—embrace it and get over it. Don’t let others have so much power over you.”

Stop calling me Dr. Abner. Sincerely, Not Dr. Abner

I’m taken aback by the sound of his unfairly attractive laughter. Have I ever heard his laugh before?

He dog-ears the pages, though, I notice—who’s the criminal now?

You please me just fine.”

“Stop doubting how fucking gifted you are.”

Why am I getting hard over my twenty-four-year-old intern? My friends’ daughter, for fuck’s sake.

I can stay. I can stay for an hour or two or three or for as long as you need me to. Because suddenly, the thought of you not getting home safely is choking the air out of my lungs.

The five-year-old boy reaches out his hand to pull at the hem of my T-shirt. “My tummy hurts.” A scared look takes over his face. “Am I pregnant?”

How do you tell someone that you’re falling in love with their mind without freaking them out?

The urge to tell her that she’s the most fascinating, down-to-earth, smart, passionate, fucking beautiful woman I’ve ever met dies in my throat. I don’t have a right to say those words, knowing I don’t deserve her.

I need her. I need her in a raw way I don’t understand.

Who knew hearing a woman talk about her love for books would turn me on?

“How do you always have the right words to keep me calm?” Her fingers graze my neck. “Who keeps you calm, Reed?” You, angel. You keep me calm.

No matter if it kills me inside that she’s going to talk to her ex and potentially get back together with him because… Fuck. Because I’m falling for her. For her mind, her heart, her laugh, her touch—all of her. And it will only end in heartbreak.

But this is Lila, my Lila, and she makes me want to bare my soul in a way I never thought I’d be capable of.

“You once asked what keeps me calm,” I rasp out, my fingers itching to move closer to her waist. “I called you because it’s you, angel. You keep me calm.”

That’s my girl.

Mine, mine, mine.

Enthralled—that’s what I am by this woman. To the goddamn bone.

“Watching you is my favorite activity.”

As I watch her, I wish I’d be brave enough to tell her how mesmerizing her every move is. How being around her has become my favorite thing. How we could watch paint dry together, and I wouldn’t get bored.

“You want to do this? Then let’s fucking do this. Tell me what you need, angel, and it’s yours.”

“No one else gets to touch you like this anymore,” I grunt. “No one but me. Understood?” She nods, breathless. “Only you, Reed.” “That’s my girl.”

“You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met, inside and out.” I cradle her face in my hand and press my lips to her forehead. “Nothing and no one could ever make me regret you, Lila.” Because I love you.

I part his lips with my tongue, deepening the kiss, telling him without words that he’s the only one for me. That his past will never scare me away because he’s… He’s the man for me.

“So responsive, my girl.” My girl. It hits me that, yes. Yes, I am. I want to be. I’m his girl—nobody else’s. And he’s mine.

I’ve fallen in love with the one man I can’t have.

“Out of all the women in the world, Reed, why my daughter?” “Because she’s the only woman in the world for me.”

I’ve lost her. I’ve lost Lila, the only woman I’ve ever loved, all because I thought I was deserving of her light. But I’ve only extinguished it. What if she never shines again?

Lila will never be mine, even if my heart will only ever beat for her.

“Do you think I would’ve chosen to fall in love with my much-older, asshole physical therapist if I’d had a choice?” Maddie asks in a playful voice. “Duh. Of course I would have.” “But you guys are different. You wanted to fall in love. You were open to it.” James snorts. “I didn’t want to fall in love with her.”

“Living an inauthentic life isn’t worth it. Remember that.”

“I’m here.” I swallow back the unexpected lump in my throat. “Even after all you did to me, I’m still standing. I’ve made a life for myself—one I’m proud of. You don’t define me.”

I lost Lila and I’ll never get her back. And it hurts. It fucking hurts like nothing I’ve ever experienced before to lose the one person I wanted to make mine forever. Because Lila is mine. Not in a possessive way, but in the sense that she’s my everything.

Creating beautiful things suits you.

Lila: Question. Reed: Shoot. Lila: Do you miss me? Reed: All the time.

“Are we friends, Reed?” “I’ll be whatever you want me to be as long as I get to stay in your life, angel.”

“Are you asking for my permission to date my daughter, Abner?” “No,” I say. “I’m telling you I’m going to.”

“I will never hurt her again, Cal. I’d rather hurt myself a thousand times before I let her feel a second of pain.”